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Posted on March 11, 2018

12 words of wisdom from African mothers

women

When I think about my life and the person I have become, I think about how blessed I am to have had the upbringing that I did. My migrant parents laid an excellent foundation for my siblings and I to follow here in Ireland, and it led us to becoming strong and confident individuals. Had they chosen a different brand of parenting, a style that was a closer  match for a typical African household, then I genuinely believe I would not be the expressive woman I am today.

My mother in particular has helped create the template I wish to follow when raising my own children in the future. While there were stages in my life when we didn’t have the strongest mother-daughter relationship, there were certainly times when we did. Now that I am of a mature age, I can appreciate any unsolicited advice given by my mother. There is so much truth in every word she speaks and the life lessons she passes on are more value to me now than ever before.

Despite us growing up in different cultures, her African words of sage have proven themselves to be useful here in Ireland and this has made me proud to call myself an African-Irish. Among many other things, I have my African background to thank for a lot of my mannerisms and my nurturing nature. I think it has instilled values in me that I would not have had if I didn’t have African parents, or more particularly, an African mother.

The wise words of an African mother can sometimes seem harsh, but as life has painfully taught me, mama bear knows best. The most valuable piece of advice my mother ever gave me was “Don’t let your flaws get in the way of you going after what you want,” I recite those words every single time without fail in moments of doubt.

On this Mother’s Day, I wanted to celebrate African mothers and spread their words of wisdom. I’ve decided to ask my African-Irish peers to reflect on some of the values instilled in them by their mothers surrounding family, love, life and more. Here are 12 inspirational words of wisdom from the African mothers of Ireland 🙂

On Family

Always be on your best behaviour and protect the name of the family you’ve been given.

The river that forgets its source will dry out. You can never forget your mom.

On Love

You’ll appreciate your height when you’re older. Tallness is beautiful. Love yourself.

Only talk to men that want to carry you about like an egg, only those men will love you.

On Life Experience & Positivity

No matter how old you are, you will never have more rags than I do.

Be positive. Speak the positive things you want to happen for you and it shall come true.

On Following Dreams

Mommy says ‘as long as you speak the language, anything is possible,’ kind of letting me know that I have the keys or fundamentals to make it with just speaking their language. Combining that with any other skills, I have pretty much the recipes for success.

My mother said I can be whatever I wanted to be and I really believed it.

On Value

Never expect anyone to see you as an equal unless you posses the qualities.

Half bread is better than none

On Life

The best thing my mom always told us that stuck with me is ‘a thief doesn’t like to be stolen from.’

Also, ‘when your mind makes stupid decisions, it’s the body that pays for it.’

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you twice,  but if you know what’s good for you, you’ll listen to your mother!

Whether you’re an African mother, an Irish mammy, a young mom, a single mommy, a step-mum, still learning the ropes of motherhood or a soon-to-be mummy, Happy Mother’s Day to you! 🙂

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Thanks to everyone who was kind enough to pass on their mother’s little nuggets of wisdom to me. I hope each of you take away something extra from this blog post! Xx

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Posted on March 10, 2018

Win!!! My Herbalife faves to help fuel your gym workouts!

win

Herbalife Pro 20 Select Vanilla Shake

With summer just around the corner there can’t be a better time to start focusing on your healthy eating regime. As someone who is a huge advocate for fitness and healthy eating, I have decided to team up with Herbalife and run a competition so that one of you guys can join me on my Herbalife journey and get fit for the summer!

I’ll be giving away some of the Herbalife faves to help you excel in your gym workouts, so if you’re up for a bit of a challenge, then keep reading to see what you could potentially win if you decide to enter this competition 🙂

 

F1 Healthy Meal Nutritional Shake

F1 Healthy Meal Nutritional Shake

F1 Healthy Meal Nutritional Shake

This best selling product is free from soya, lactose and gluten! The vanilla flavour tastes amazing but it comes in about six other flavours too. One portion contains about 220 cals and 18g of protein when mixed with dairy-free milk. This shake is incredibly filling and creamy to taste when mixed with milk. It helps to know that it does a stellar job at keeping sweet cravings at bay! 🙂

Aloe Vera Concentrate

Herbalife Aloe Vera Concentrate

Herbalife Aloe Vera Concentrate

For someone who was never versed at drinking water regularly, this aloe concentrate helped me immensely. Three capsules of this concentrate gives water a citrus taste making it more likely to drink throughout the day, which as you probably know, is important for regular gym goers. A glass of this aloe concentrate helps soothe the stomach and promotes good intestinal health making it work like a shower for your inside! 🙂

Herbalife PRO 20 Soy Protein Select

Herbalife PRO 20 Soy Protein Shake

Herbalife PRO 20 Soy Protein Shake

While this is still very new to the gang, it deserves a few minutes (or sentences) of fame. This shake is another dairy free shake by Herbalife, except it contains soy protein. While I am quite restrictive in how much soy I consume, I had to become accustomed to the taste. Thankfully it didn’t take very long with this vanilla flavour!  One serving of this contains 20g of protein and 146 calories. To top things off, it comes with a scoop – oh, the little things! 🙂

DO YOU WANT TO WIN THESE HERBALIFE PRODUCTS!?  🙂

(This giveaway is now closed. The winner is Isabel Antonio, Galway)

Herbalife Pro 20 Select Vanilla Shake

To be in with a chance of winning a brand new packet of my my Herbalife faves, you must do the following:

Terms & Conditions:

You must be a resident of Ireland or the UK. You must be over the age of 18 and if you live with your parents you must consent from them to enter this competition as the winner will be required to give me their address in order to have the prize sent out to them. There will only be one winner. This person will have 24 hours to claim their prize, otherwise another winner will be chosen in their place. Giveaway begins on the 12th of March and ends on March 31st at 9pm.

Best of luck to everyone who decides to partake in this giveaway, may the odds be in your favour! 🙂

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To read more about some of the other Herbalife products I love, then have a read of this blog post or check out my video review on YouTube. Full disclaimer here. 

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Posted on February 27, 2018

Do men age better than women?

Dating

TimeHop: A nifty Facebook feature designed to depress individuals who have surpassed the prime of their beauty (for those of you wondering).

In my early twenties (when I still had my looks going for me), I used to take pride in the fact that I was never enticed by the idea of plastic surgery. Now some of you may not be surprised by the concept of a young twenty something year old – with not a wrinkle in sight – not finding cosmetic surgery attractive. But believe it or not, I would have known plenty of ladies who spoke quite enthusiastically about surgery from a very young age.

Whether I had a big booty or not (I didn’t), any insecurity I had growing up was always something I was willing to suffer through with. I wanted to age naturally and with grace, even if I was a skinny black girl with a ‘pancake’ bum. All the Kylie Jenners in the world would not have made me change my mind about plastic surgery – again, I was in my early twenties so I still had my looks going for me, the importance of this cannot be overstated.

Fast forward a few years (I won’t say how many) but fast forward to a point in my life where I now understand why some women would opt for elective procedures that are said to prevent the much-dreaded “mature” look. There is nothing scarier than looking at an old photograph of yourself at the age of what you regard as the prime of your beauty only to stare back at your own reflection and see that.

Note: If you try this at home, you’re at your own risk.

A lot can change in a short space of time, and these changes can happen fast. So much like any millennial experiencing early signs of aging, I turned to my much-trusted support system: Instagram, every girl’s most trustworthy and reliable friend (that was sarcasm).

Using an Instagram poll, I asked them to vote on something I have believed for a very long time to be true: do men age better than women?

Since this is something I have always believed, I was in complete shock by how divided the answers were. Some respondants thought the answer was obvious and shared similar views to me, while others believed the debate should be around the stigmas attached to female aging. While it isn’t difficult to reason with both of these views, make of what you will on the other more questionable comments people had on the matter.

I did an even split for male and female respondents so that I don’t appear to be propagating my own aging agenda 🙂

  • Question: Do men age better than women?
  • Final result: 58% Yes | 42% No

Male responses

It’s acceptable for a man to grow into a silver fox but women are pressured into looking younger and to not show signs of aging.

Most women are entirely reliant on their looks, they are not subject to the same criteria as men and yet they want all the sh!t men have worked for.

People like the idea of a modern world where we can say women age just as well as men because that’s a nice warm thing for everybody to believe in but that’s just not true. Women have the power from 18 to 30 and then from that point it starts dipping. Men have no power whatsoever till we’re about 28, a woman won’t even look at you until then.

It’s societal expectations. Some men hit their mid to late 20s and look the same into their late 30s/40. I think a part of that is also that we don’t stop growing physically until we hit 25 (I think). I do often wonder though if make up has long term negative effects on someone’s skin from wearing it so often?

Women are better looking for longer, men only get to look good when they’re silver foxes, can’t we have that at least😅

Female responses

In my opinion they don’t age well. I am looking at the all round picture as looks can be deceiving. Men toil alot in their life time, their bodies endure so much that women are the only ones who out live them regardless lol I know this may sound offensive and traditional but it’s true.

Noooooo they don’t! I’m 11months older than my husband and everyone thinks I’m younger than him. Last year a woman thought I was his daughter. She was drunk…but yano It still counts 😂😂

Society is obsessed with women’s beauty being linked to youthfulness. Even in how they pay compliments, a man looking younger than his age is nearly negative and for women a great thing. We say things like “Oh 40 is the new 20”.

Yes they do, it’s so depressing 😭

Women know that after a certain age everything starts to go south in the looks department, that’s why they feel the need to “trap” men.

Regardless of the ratio of yes to no, there is no denying that we still have a lot of mixed responses here. Thanks to my *early aging signs that we shall not yet speak of* I will continue to think that among many other things, us women do not have it easy in the aging department.

So to the person who first coined the phrase ‘black don’t crack,’ I’d like a refund.

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[27/2/2018]

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Posted on February 19, 2018

5 ways to detox after a weekend of binge eating

Health

5 ways to detox after a weekend of binge eating

Is it just me or does anyone else have a non-existent healthy eating regime over the weekend? As much as I try to lead a healthy life, I always find myself being a bit more lenient about my food choices as the week progresses and by Friday evening, any balanced diet I thought I had goes straight out the window.

The weekend gone was particularly bad, for reasons I will not get into (Mother Nature’s monthly visit) *cough* I indulged in almost every sugary treat in sight: from marshmallows dipped in melted chocolate to soft sponge Madeira cake – the recollection is torturous, alright!

But much like any vicious cycle, I ended up riddled with guilt by Sunday evening. Although it might not be possible to undo extreme levels of binge eating, I do believe that a good detox can help re-establish a healthy lifestyle after the fact.

Here are some of the things I will be doing this week to help me get back on track. If your weekend was anything like mine, I suggest you give these a try also:

1. Hit the gym

Irish fitness bunny sitting on gym ball

This is probably the last thing you want to be hearing. But as someone who spent yesterday afternoon sweating off my weekend binge, I can attest to exercise being a good place to start. Even though you can’t out train a bad diet, you can start your week off with activities that will pump your body with feel-good hormones, which will motivate you to stay on top of things. Don’t feel obliged to start off with an intense workout however, exercise should never be a punishment. Exercise is your friend, not the enemy and food is your fuel – never forget that! 🙂

2. Flush it out with H20

Water

I always find myself drinking more water than usual after a weekend of overeating. All the extra salt and sugar in the body’s system after an indulgent weekend can dehydrate the body and lead to bloating and tiredness, that’s why it is important to put in a little bit more effort to flush out toxins. Staying hydrated throughout the day is always helpful. I find that having a glass of uisce first thing in the morning, before and after every meal and before bed is a good rule to follow.

3. Clipper Organic and Fairtrade Detox Green Tea*

Clipper Teas Organic Detox Green Tea

A delicious and mellow green tea with a refreshing citrus burst and the fragrant boost of elderflower, nettle and fennel

If you get bored of the water and want to switch things up a bit, then Clipper Teas is the perfect solution. I’ve been sipping on this citrus brew over the past couple of days and have found it to be absolutely heavenly. According to Nutritional Therapist Libby Limon, green tea has “high levels of plant chemicals that work in your liver to help neutralise and eliminate toxins.” Having about 2 – 3 cups of Clipper Organic and Fairtrade Detox Green Tea a day can help support the body’s detoxification system and make you feel more revitalised after an overindulgent weekend! 🙂

RRP: £2.05, Waitrose (UK) or Holland & Barratts (IRE) 

4. Steam it up

Facial steamer

As little as ten minutes a day in the steam room can do your body the world of good. I used to frequent the sauna in my gym, but found that it would often leave me with breakouts on my face that resembled a heat rash. I switched the sauna for the steam room and it has come with a host of benefits. As well as helping to sweat out any pollutants, it offers mental and physical relaxation. If we want to be a bit vain about it (why not) regular steam room sessions also brighten up the skin, leaving it with a healthy and natural glow.

5. Sleep tight

Sleep it works

Having an early night is not only important for feeling energised in the  morning. But I find when I clock out early, I avoid the temptation of having a late night snack. You might not have noticed, but the longer you stay up, the more likely you will feel peckish and eat unnecessarily. Since most reasonable snacks have about 200 calories, it would be fair to say that skipping late night snacks can result in saving about 1,000 calories by the end of the week – I don’t know about you, but it sounds to me like getting a few extra early nights a week might be more beneficial than you’d think!

I hope you find these suggestions helpful, and remember: you’re allowed to fall off the track every now and again, we’re only human. All that matters is that you get back up and focus on the future. Should you find yourself falling victim to another cheeky weekend, feel free to refer to this list again! 🙂

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*This product was sent to me by a PR company, please find disclaimer here.

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Posted on February 14, 2018

That sugar baby life: dreamy romance or glorified prostitution?

Dating

When I first heard about sugar relationships, I was rather naive about the whole concept. The notion that a wrinkled  wealthy man could financially support a young and attractive woman while asking for nothing but her presence in return was not something that set off any alarm bells.

I thought, why wouldn’t a financially stable man support a twenty something year old through college if he has the means to? If he can afford it and she can return the favour by giving him whatever is in the parameters of their sugar arrangement (her ‘presence’) then isn’t it a win for everyone!? How very naive of me indeed….

Thanks to my newly found wisdom of sugar dating and all other relationships that exist in the realm of the sugar world, I am now inclined to think otherwise.

My growing obsession with the dynamics of such a relationship led me to jump into the sugar bowl to dig up on the matter. After having joined SeekingArrangement, an online dating site that aims to link up older and financially stable individuals (usually men that go by the term sugar daddy/SD) with their commonly young and impressionable female counterparts (sugar baby/SB), I can now say that my views regarding sugar daddy and sugar baby relationships have shifted drastically.

It is safe to say that the ‘on your terms’ relationships that a lot of sugar dating websites try to sell are not to be taken at face value – at least not if you’re the SB anyways! Many men who use sugar dating sites are not far off from searching for escort. They use the guise of a ‘structured’ relationship to have young SBs bend to their will. But before we touch on whether or not being a sugar baby is akin to being a sex worker, I think it is important to outline the different types of sugar daddies that exist on these dating sites…..

Here are 10 types of sugar daddies that are likely to be found online 🙂

1. Fake Daddy

Allow me to start with the most obvious of types: fake daddies. These are men (or women) that set up online profiles pretending to have a bank account in the Cayman Island and a yacht somewhere in the south of France. They are the ones who take advantage of the fact that almost anyone can mask as anything once there is a screen in front of them.

2. Wannabe Daddy

This is the type of  SD that warrants a bit of sympathy. In the perfect world, he would have the attention of a hot blonde that is half his age to shower with gifts and treat like royalty. He would give her everything and anything she could ever ask for. The problem is, he can’t afford the lifestyle he wants to have with a SB and the life that he so desperately craves is therefore one that has to be left to his imagination (ergo the sympathy).

3. Salt Daddy

This type of SD is similar to the wannabe daddy in the sense that he can’t afford to be a ‘real’ sugar daddy. What separates the salt daddy from the wannabe daddy however, is that he actively seeks naive women knowing well he has has nothing substantial to offer. He uses trickery and manipulation to get his way with sugar babies and when it’s time for this salt papi to holdup his end of the agreement, he is nowhere to be found!

4. The Married but Looking Daddy

The married but looking daddy is probably the most common type of SD that exists in the sugar world. Some require discretion and secrecy from their SB while others claim that their partner is aware of their wandering eye. Regardless of the situation, the thought of this type of SD wanting a sugar baby can be deeply disturbing when his sugar baby’s age matches that of his daughter.

5. Submissive Daddy 

This is the type of daddy who gets off on taking on a not-so-daddy role. Not only does he derive sexual pleasure from having dominant women abuse his wallet, but it is a prerequisite that she humiliates him in the process. He thrives off anything from getting his marching orders from a powerful woman after she’s drained him of all his cash at an ‘ATM meet,’ to fulfilling various embarrassing tasks that she demands of him afterwards.

6. Peter Pan Daddy

The Peter Pan daddy is one who simply  just enjoys the company of a young and attractive woman.Having younger company brings out a side of him that he refuses to let go of. If she happens to  need mentorship or a bit of financial support, he would give a helping hand. But only if he can.

7. Pimp Daddy 

On the flip side, we have the pimp daddy. This is the SD who treats sugar dating sites like it’s for finding escorts. He has a sense of entitlement and when he makes demands, he expects them to be met. The pimp daddy claims to be firmly against using professional escorts, yet he speaks to his sugar babies like they are ladies of the night.

8. Online Daddy

This type of daddy has no intention of pursing an arrangement outside the virtual world. He is the type of SD that either lives overseas or travels quite regularly. He can give a good talk about meeting up and discussing a mutually beneficial arrangement, but the reality of it is that he quite enjoys the online chats and texts.

9. The Mammy and Daddy, ‘Daddy’

Although not as common as some of the others, the mammy and daddy type of profiles seek a younger SB to help spruce things up in the bedroom. They may be swingers or they may simply be two people who feel that they’re about a decade deep into the relationship. This type of SD profile just wants to spice things up before kids are factored into their relationship.

10. Dream Daddy

This type of daddy has the means to provide financial, mental and emotional support to a potential sugar baby. Although he has a busy schedule, the dream daddy never fails to hold up his end of the arrangement when he has one. Since he  doesn’t ask for anything sexual in return for his generosity, one would question whether or not he has a functioning libido. Any SB who lands one of these has basically hit the jackpot!!

While it is clear from this list that there isn’t just one type of SD that exists, I do get the impression that the majority of sugar relationships run on secrecy, lies, sex and money. After weeks of interrogating active users of sugar dating sites and attempting to discover the motivations behind why people use them, I am starting to think that the standard SD/SB arrangement is adjacent to sex work (when there is intimacy involved, that is).

In a way, I also feel like the dynamics of the average sugar relationship brings women decades back to when they were forced to stay at home and depend on their partners for financial support. But above all else, this new discovery makes me wonder whether or not women inherently seek out men who can provide them with financial security.

The growing popularity of sugar arrangements and the use of sugar dating sites begs the question of whether or not men and women really are biologically hardwired to think and behave differently when it comes to matters of dating, whether it is part of a woman’s genetic makeup to look for security in a man and whether men are biologically geared towards mainly wanting………… do I really need to say it? 🙂

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Posted on February 1, 2018

My top 10 most-watched YouTube videos

youtube

With today being both #TBT and the first of February, I’ve decided to compile a list of my most popular YouTube videos to date. Since my YouTube channel is still relatively new, I always experience a feeling of accomplishment whenever people like, comment or subscribe to my channel – see what I just did there!?

I have clearly adapted the universal language of all YouTubers at this stage, so much so that one may even go so far to call me a YouTuber.  However, I still struggle to classify myself as a YouYuber since creating video content is still secondary to me.

As much as I enjoy making videos, writing will always be a priority. I make YouTube videos whenever I get the chance and I try not to pressure myself into creating one when I can’t. So with that said, here are my top ten most-watched YouTube videos to date 🙂

10. #Storytime: having sex with a lace wig

9. First date jitters

8. Single at 27

7. Get to know me!

6. My most embarrassing first date moment

5. I don’t hate Irish men (RESPONSE VIDEO)

4. One month on Herbalife

3. Why I’m single

2. 5 types of racist trolls the black Irish meet online

1. 5 things Irish guys should never say to a black girl on Tinder

I hope you get the chance to browse my channel, and if you like my content then don’t forget to subscribe! :*

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  • YouTube
    51
    I launched my own YouTube channel in January 2017. While I may share a few of those videos on this blog, I won't be sharing all of them so be sure to subscribe to my channel if you haven't already! I plan to have a series of conversational videos on…
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Posted on January 29, 2018

Reading funny/racist YouTube comments

vlog

This time last year, I shared my first ever YouTube video. To commemorate the moment, I’ve decided to read some of the funny and racist comments I recieved in the last year of being a content creator on YouTube.

Hope you have your popcorn ready because you’re in for a ride! 🙂

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Posted on January 18, 2018

5 Primark beauty fragrances worth trying (all under a fiver!!!)

product review

If there is one sure thing that makes me immediately fall in love with a beauty product, it is how much I am captivated by its fragrance. Whether it’s a hair serum, a hand lotion or any other product whose primary function is completely unrelated to how it smells, what tends to seal the deal for me is the degree to which the scent of a beauty product blows my breath away – I know, how gullible!

So when I’m looking at the likes of perfumes and body sprays, I can be particularly harsh when placing judgement. This is why I was completely taken a back by some of the fragrances I recently came across in Penneys.

The aroma of some of these Primark fragrances not only take you to heaven, but they also keep you there! I won’t be surprised if you stock up on most – if not all – of these little gems after you’ve had a whiff of them! 🙂

1. Bombshell

Primark beauty fragrance, bombshell, €2.50, 20ml

Primark Beauty Fragrance, Bombshell, €2.50, 20ml

Bombshell oozes of femininity with its fruity notes. It is strong, but not overpowering. Sweet, but not weak – in other words, it smells exactly how it sounds! This bombshell perfume ranks up quite high in my list of favourites as it is currently my go-to scent for everyday wear.

  • Longevity: 3 – 4 hours
  • Price: €2.50
  • Rating: 5/5

2. Glamorous

Primark Beauty Fragrance, Glamorous, €2.50, 20ml

Primark Beauty Fragrance, Glamorous, €2.50, 20ml

Another highly feminine fragrance for your inner diva, Glamorous has a sensationally deep tone that is sweet and seductive. Due to the strong notes in this fragrance, it makes for a great evening perfume.  Not to mention the 20ml bottle makes it a great addition to your beauty bag must haves on your night out! 🙂

  • Longevity: 3 – 4 hours
  • Price: €2.50
  • Rating: 5/5

3. Amelie

Primark Beauty Fragrance, Amelie, €3.50, 150ml

Primark Beauty Fragrance, Amelie, €3.50, 150ml

The sensual floral notes of this body mist would take anyone’s breath away! It combines floral notes with wild fruit and a dash of vanilla. The warm captivating scent of this spray works for day wear and night wear – it is my ultimate fave right now, I always get compliments when I use it. Also, can we take a moment to admire the cute packaging?

  • Longevity: 3 – 4 hours
  • Price: €3.50
  • Rating: 1000% yes!!!!

4. PS… Sleep in Beauty Pillow & Body Spray

PS... Sleep in Beauty Pillow & Body Spray

PS… Sleep in Beauty Pillow & Body Spray

This body mist is slightly different from the others as it also serves as a pillow spray. The chamomile extracts in this spray has relaxing and soothing properties that will help put you in a relaxed mood almost instantly. One spritz of this will have a spa-like effect on the mind, body and soul.

  • Longevity: 1 – 2 hours
  • Price: €2.50
  • Rating: 4/5

5. PS… Love Your Selfie Body Mist

The candy-like undertone of this body mist smells so sweet, you could almost eat it! One whiff of this guy will undoubtedly bring you back to memory lane (a.k.a teen years). This body mist is fresh and light, making it ideal to wear on brighter days. It will make for the perfect holiday spray in the next coming months – or good to have on days you feel like reminiscing! 🙂

  • Longevity: 1 – 2 hours
  • Price: €2.50
  • Rating: 3.8/5

Have you tried any of these sprays? I would love to hear from you if you have! Feel free to tweet me @FilomenaKaguako 🙂

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10 tips for surviving Blue Monday

Health

The only thing that could possibly be worse than a Monday is a Blue Monday – and no, I did not come to this conclusion by simply throwing in the word ‘blue’ in front of a widely loathed week day. In case you didn’t know, the third Monday of January had been named Blue Monday because it is said to be the most depressing day of the year.

Although there isn’t any concrete evidence to back up the ideologies behind this mystic day, Blue Monday has caught on since its discovery back in 2005, when life coach Cliff Arnall announced that the combination of post-Christmas debt, miserable winter weather and failed new year’s resolution all factor into why tomorrow will the saddest day of 2018.

Whether or not you prescribe to the idea or think it is complete nonsense, I personally think that there can’t be any harm in erring on the side of caution – especially when it comes to the health of your mind. So if you’re looking for ways to stay on the positive side of things, then here are my top ten tips for surviving Blue Monday 🙂

  1. Don’t skip your brekkie. There are a host of reasons for why you should never skip your breakfast (or any other meal for that matter), but if there’s any day you shouldn’t skip this health rule, let it be on Blue Monday. Having breakfast will keep your concentration levels up & help you stay focused during the day.
  2. Stay hydrated.  It’s bad enough that you have to battle through what is said to be the most miserable day of the year. The last thing you want is to feel tired and dizzy on a day that is already promising to be one from hell. You can avoid that by keeping your fluids up throughout the day.
  3. Keep the front door painted. We all know that looking good means feeling good, so if you usually like to keep your attire casual on a Monday, why not dress it up a notch? Now I don’t mean fish net tights and stiletto red heels to work, but anything as small as wearing your favourite lipstick can help keep your spirits up!
  4. Smile until you mean it. They say smiling releases feel-good chemicals in the brain. So it is safe to say that the more you smile, the more of these endrophins are released in your body which in turn will help you actually feel good – and who said all trickery is bad?
  5. Do a good deed. Some psychological research shows that a good way to make yourself happy is to make someone else happy!  Do a small good deed for someone at the office, a neighbour or even a complete stranger and watch how your mood instantly changes!
  6. Write a list. If you really want to get your mind off the morbidity of Blue Monday,then think about all the positive things you have to look forward to in the coming weeks. Not only will it keep you distracted from the demonic day that is Blue Monday, but it will also give you something to work towards.
  7.  Stay sociable. Don’t isolate yourself on a day that wants you to feel isolated. Take the liberty of paying a surprise visit to an old friend or family member you haven’t spoken to in a while. You never know, they might appreciate the company as much as you!
  8. Get moving. A bit of exercise will do your mind, body and soul a world of good! It doesn’t have to be anything strenuous, a simple walk can put a smile on your face that won’t require any trickery on your part! Combined with some fresh air, moving your limbs is most definitely the easiest way to keep your spirits up.
  9. Absorb the light. If you’ve ever heard of bright light therapy then you would know that it has it’s benefits for improving mood. An effortless way to boost your mood on Blue Monday is to step outside and let the natural light work it’s magic on your feel-good hormones.
  10. If all else fails, just remember Blue Monday only comes once a year!

I hope you make it through the day! 🙂

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7 simple ways to be more body positive

Confidence

It’s nearly mid-January and I’m only getting around to writing my first blog post of 2018. Shame on me is what I would normally say to that. But since this blog post is all about promoting positivity, I’m going to refrain from the usual self-bashing and instead, embrace the fact that I’m finally getting around to writing my first blog post of 2018! 🙂

The reason why I’ve decided to touch on the subject of positive body image is because a lot of people tend to be a bit  conscious of their body around this time of year. The excess drinking and eating that can come from the holiday season eventually takes its toll on our bodies and these changes can affect our self-esteem.

It also doesn’t help that we live in a technology driven world that is relentlessly feeding us with flawless images that don’t depict reality. It is easier now than ever before to develop a dysphoria around your image and feel disconnected with your body because of all these ‘ideals’ created by society.

I am no stranger to this at all. But for some reason, I have fallen in love with the normally dreaded changes that my body undergoes over the Christmas period. I have come to realise that the healthy habits that I have been practicing over the past couple of months have helped foster positive body image in myself and I now love parts about my body that I disliked before.

While the journey through self-acceptance and having positive body image varies from person to person, the end goal is usually the same. The tips that I plan to share with you today will likely not work over night, but if you stick them out you will eventually see changes in how you view your body!

So without further ado, here are 7 simple ways you can be more body positive 🙂

1. Don’t forget that food is fuel

A lot of the time, I think having a positive body image starts from having a healthy relationship with food. All too often, people forget that the foods we consume have a functional purpose for our bodies. Food should not be a  punishment, nor should it be a reward. It is the fuel necessary to help us function on a day-to-day basis. The sooner we realise that the quicker we will be on our way to having a healthy relationship with the foods we consume and how they make us feel about ourselves.

 2. Have some fun with exercise

The image driven society that we are currently living in can pressure women and men alike to unnecessarily hit the gym several times a week. I will admit that there was a time when I was an unhealthy avid gym goer. My reasons for going to the gym were seldom driven by desire, instead I felt that I had to go. Exercise should never feel like a chore and if it does, you need to stop immediately and find a form of exercise that you enjoy.  Ever since I discovered TRX, I’ve found myself going to the gym less excessively. I now go when I can and because it is enjoyable, not because I feel I have to.

3. Adjust your thinking, wording & phrasing

The words you use to describe yourself play a huge role in how you ultimately feel. That’s why one of the ways to promote positive body image involve adjusting the way you speak and think. For instance, instead of saying ‘I am fat,’ use the words ‘I have fat,’ because you do and you’re supposed to. Among many things, fat provides the body with insulation to prevent heat loss. So instead of punishing yourself for having something it’s supposed to have, adjust your thinking – embrace it, squeeze it, kiss it and then thank your body for doing what it’s doing! 🙂

4. Take your focus away from your flaws 

Listening to our inner critic is easy. Nit-picking, self-doubt and fixating on our flaws is something most of us can probably do in our sleep. As we’ve already established, negative words and thoughts have a huge impact on how we view ourselves. Instead of focusing on your shortcomings, direct your attention towards the things you do like about your body and think about why. For example I like my love handles because they make me more squeezeable and fun to hug – you see? you can easily turn a negative to a positive! 🙂

5. Stay off the ‘gram!

 

Staying off Instagram is probably one of the best things you can do for restoring positive body image. The diet culture promoted on IG is unrealistic and in a lot of cases, incredibly damaging.  While it is no secret that the image focused app is flooded with false expectations of what the ‘perfect’ ass, legs and overall beach body should look like, viewing these images still plant a seed in your mind. The more time you spend endlessly scrolling through these types of images, the more Instagram feeds them to you and you end up developing a complex you shouldn’t have. If you’re serious about having positive body image, take a break from the ‘gram.

6. Protect your energy 

Much like the foods we consume have an effect on us physiologically, the things and people who consume our energy can affect us psychologically. Your energy is as valuable to your body image as the foods that you consume. Always protect your energy and be aware of the people you surround yourself with.

7. Remember you are loved regardless of your looks

If anything at all, remember that your friends and family love you just as you are. Their love for you is not contingent on the number you see on a scale. Whether you’re curvy, skinny, tall or short, they love you regardless. It is clear from looking at the different body shapes and sizes around you that beauty does not fit into one mould. Diversity should be celebrated and not crtiticised.

If you have a any tips for promoting positive body image then I would love to hear from you! Feel free to tweet me @FilomenaKaguako 🙂

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Posted on December 29, 2017

5 biggest blog achievements of 2017

lifestyle

Anyone who knows me personally would know that I am not one to brag about my achievements. If anything, I tend to downplay them and not give myself enough credit for my successes. Among many reasons, I simply don’t see the point in broadcasting every single one of my accomplishments to the whole world – and yes, I do realise the irony of me saying this as a blogger.

It would seem that that is the very essence of what being a successful blogger is all about. These announcements and life documents are what the blogging industry thrives on. More irony? Perhaps! For someone who started blogging four years ago, you would think that I would have gotten over the many aversions I have to the industry – I haven’t. If anything I am learning to get better at masking them, which sometimes, I think can be worse.

But much like any industry, there are positives and negatives. What it really comes down to is finding a healthy balance between the two. This however, can be a struggle and a half when you’re on the road not taken. The road that I took at the start of 2017 towards being a full time blogger, completely blind to what the universe had in store for me.

So without further ado, here are five of my biggest blog achievements of 2017 🙂

1. The launch of my YouTube channel

Launching a YouTube channel might not seem like a big achievement to some of you, especially since a lot of bloggers are leaning towards video blogs nowadays. However, starting my own channel is something that my inner critic always prevented me from doing. If it wasn’t about me feeling that I didn’t look the part, it was about me thinking I didn’t have anything important to say – my negative self-talk told me everything under the sun to discourage me from doing something that I now, derive a lot of fulfilment from. So biting the bullet with YouTube was always going to be a big achievement for me and when I finally did the “unimaginable,” it trickled a butterfly effect like no other.

2. Radio contributions with 2FM’s iconic duo

Following the release of my second YouTube video (5 things Irish guys should never say to a black girl on Tinder) I was contacted by one half of RTE 2FM’S iconic duo, Chris & Ciara to appear on their late night show as a guest. Like anyone who suffers from any sort of anxiety disorder, I was beyond nervous to be making my radio debut at a national level. Thankfully, any concerns I had were quickly silenced the second I got chatting to the two loveliest faces (or voices) of Irish radio! I will forever be grateful for the opportunities they gave me to speak about both light-hearted issues and also some serious ones, such as the core message surrounding my viral open letter.

3. International press coverage of my open letter

Back in May, I poured my heart out in an open letter to the Irish men who have hypersexualised my race. When I first read the letter on air on the Chris & Ciara show, it received a lot of positive feedback. It was only when the tabloids caught wind of it and misconstrued my words that the immense media attention followed and had it spread like wild fire. The letter quickly circulated national papers in Ireland and the UK and it even made American headlines.  I was flooded with request to appear on live radio and undertake an overwhelming amount of interviews that week – it was both a blessing a curse at the same time.

Read more about the magnitude of this ordeal and how I coped with the publicity here.

4. Studio interview with Matt Cooper

After what felt like a lifetime of avoiding emails and turning down interview requests, I finally mustered up the strength to accept and follow through with a studio interview for The Last Word on Today FM. I will never forget the feeling I had in my stomach when my taxi driver told me that Matt Cooper was a tough interviewer. I went from experiencing emotions of excitement to feeling pure dread. Granted, he did dampen the atmosphere by telling me on the way in. But I have to say I am truly thankful for his honestly and advice as it gave me the preparation I didn’t know I needed for the iterview.

5. Filming for my television debut

Although I am limited as to what I can say about this, what I will say is that the combination of my achievements in 2017 had a butterfly effect for not only 2018, but quite possibly the rest of my blogging career.

I spent a good chunk of the last few weeks filming for a very exciting upcoming tv project airing next year and while I have no power over how I will come across or how it will affect me and my blog, the last twelve months has taught me that I can control how I react to it.  Whether it works for me or against me, I know who my true friends are and who will  stick with me through thick and thin! 🙂

It goes without saying that my decision to follow my dream has paid off in more ways than one and the laws of attraction really did work in my favour this year with each milestone resulting from the previous and creating a foundation for the next.

I will forever be grateful for the life lessons I discovered through my blog in 2017. In such a short space of time, I learned a huge deal about the media industry, friendships and of course myself.

I genuinely have no words to express my gratitude towards those who not only supported me during difficulties. But also helped celebrate the times that needed to be celebrated: those individuals will always have a special place in my heart (you know who you are).

I wish each and every single one of you all a sparkling New Year and I hope you’re excited to see what I have in store for you guys in 2018! 🙂

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Posted on December 22, 2017

10 festive nail ideas from Instagram

Nails

With only a few more sleeps until Christmas day, there’s no question that the majority of our local nail salons are jammers with eager customers.

If you have yet to get your festive nails done and are looking for a bit of #NailInspo then here are some of my top Instagram nail picks for Christmas! 🙂

1. Diamonds & red stiletto sparkle 

Stiletto Christmas Nails

Photo Credit

 

2. Winter blue with snowflakes & glitter 

Blue Christmas nails and snowflakes

Photo Credit

 

3. Simple nude with a silver gradient touch

nude squared nails with silver

Photo Credit

 

4. Glitter dipped center with blood red talons 

Glitter dipped center with blood red talons

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5. Red glitter diagnol stripes with snowflake tips

Red manicure tips and snowflakes christmas nails

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6. Cute festive French mani

Festive French mani

Photo Credit

 

7. Back to basics with green glitter and festive red

Photo Credit

 

8. Christmas jumper design & sparkle gold center

Photo Credit

 

9. White & Gold Christmas

Photo Credit

 

10. Red squares with shimmering gold & beautiful bow tie

Photo Credit

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