Browsing Category

women

Posted on March 11, 2018

12 words of wisdom from African mothers

women

When I think about my life and the person I have become, I think about how blessed I am to have had the upbringing that I did. My migrant parents laid an excellent foundation for my siblings and I to follow here in Ireland, and it led us to becoming strong and confident individuals. Had they chosen a different brand of parenting, a style that was a closer  match for a typical African household, then I genuinely believe I would not be the expressive woman I am today.

My mother in particular has helped create the template I wish to follow when raising my own children in the future. While there were stages in my life when we didn’t have the strongest mother-daughter relationship, there were certainly times when we did. Now that I am of a mature age, I can appreciate any unsolicited advice given by my mother. There is so much truth in every word she speaks and the life lessons she passes on are more value to me now than ever before.

Despite us growing up in different cultures, her African words of sage have proven themselves to be useful here in Ireland and this has made me proud to call myself an African-Irish. Among many other things, I have my African background to thank for a lot of my mannerisms and my nurturing nature. I think it has instilled values in me that I would not have had if I didn’t have African parents, or more particularly, an African mother.

The wise words of an African mother can sometimes seem harsh, but as life has painfully taught me, mama bear knows best. The most valuable piece of advice my mother ever gave me was “Don’t let your flaws get in the way of you going after what you want,” I recite those words every single time without fail in moments of doubt.

On this Mother’s Day, I wanted to celebrate African mothers and spread their words of wisdom. I’ve decided to ask my African-Irish peers to reflect on some of the values instilled in them by their mothers surrounding family, love, life and more. Here are 12 inspirational words of wisdom from the African mothers of Ireland 🙂

On Family

Always be on your best behaviour and protect the name of the family you’ve been given.

The river that forgets its source will dry out. You can never forget your mom.

On Love

You’ll appreciate your height when you’re older. Tallness is beautiful. Love yourself.

Only talk to men that want to carry you about like an egg, only those men will love you.

On Life Experience & Positivity

No matter how old you are, you will never have more rags than I do.

Be positive. Speak the positive things you want to happen for you and it shall come true.

On Following Dreams

Mommy says ‘as long as you speak the language, anything is possible,’ kind of letting me know that I have the keys or fundamentals to make it with just speaking their language. Combining that with any other skills, I have pretty much the recipes for success.

My mother said I can be whatever I wanted to be and I really believed it.

On Value

Never expect anyone to see you as an equal unless you posses the qualities.

Half bread is better than none

On Life

The best thing my mom always told us that stuck with me is ‘a thief doesn’t like to be stolen from.’

Also, ‘when your mind makes stupid decisions, it’s the body that pays for it.’

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you twice,  but if you know what’s good for you, you’ll listen to your mother!

Whether you’re an African mother, an Irish mammy, a young mom, a single mommy, a step-mum, still learning the ropes of motherhood or a soon-to-be mummy, Happy Mother’s Day to you! 🙂

Twitter Facebook Instagram

Thanks to everyone who was kind enough to pass on their mother’s little nuggets of wisdom to me. I hope each of you take away something extra from this blog post! Xx

Related Posts

  • 10000
    Disclaimer: This blog post is referring to my own subjective experience of being a cis woman and my dealings with cis men. It is in no way to refer to trans or non binary people, I support them in their journeys and I would never want for this blog post to denounce…
  • 10000
    TimeHop: A nifty Facebook feature designed to depress individuals who have surpassed the prime of their beauty (for those of you wondering). In my early twenties (when I still had my looks going for me), I used to take pride in the fact that I was never enticed by the…
  • 10000
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC7y5sti8iw While it's never fair to paint every man or woman with the same brush, a recent survey suggests that maybe it is something we should start considering when it comes to matters of cheating. The survey highlights the differences in how and why men and women cheat and the…
Posted on March 8, 2018

Today is International Women’s Day…but what does being a woman mean in 2018?

Sexuality/ women

Disclaimer: This blog post is referring to my own subjective experience of being a cis woman and my dealings with cis men. It is in no way to refer to trans or non binary people, I support them in their journeys and I would never want for this blog post to denounce their gender identity. New experience has taught me that the metrics I use to measure my womanhood are not representative of every woman, they are unique and very central to me (I may touch on the “why?” at a later time). I have no intention of being exclusionary as I wrote this blog from my own personal perspective, which inherently is that of a cis woman. I recognise that not all women identify as women in a similar way to me – and I think these differences should be celebrated! Outside of this discussion, we are all human and that is all that matters! I hope you enjoy this read and I look forward to hearing your feedback 🙂

Without further ado….

What does being a woman mean in 2018?

For all of human history, there have only ever been two sexes: male and female. What separated one from the other is that a male (or a man) has the tools to impregnate a female and a female (or woman) has the reproductive organs to carry out said pregnancy. Simple, right? I’m afraid not.

In our current climate of the Post-Truth era, it is becoming increasingly difficult for people to define what I have always considered to be basic biology. The rise of gender theory and the concept that gender is non-binary and is something that can be chosen by an individual, is creating a landscape in which it is seemingly no longer acceptable to rely on simple biology to determine the things we have always known to be a factually true.

Gender theory removes fixed biological determinants for what makes someone a man or in this debate, what makes a person a woman. It proposes the idea that sex and gender are two completely different categories thus those who are born as male and consequently have male appendages can someday be women simply by saying so.

It more or less looks like this….

While I take no issue with how people choose to present themselves to the world, I personally feel that the contribution of science is something that we cannot ignore, especially when it comes to matters of what being a woman means. The notion that sex and gender are completely uncorrelated perpetuates a free-for-all world where males can be women and females can be men and as someone who has lived and experienced a lot of complexities that not only come from being born a woman, but also be born a woman of colour, I feel that maintaining such an idea devalues my unique female experiences. It fails to acknowledge some of the pressures that I was faced with being born a woman, but most of all I think it  reduces me to just one thing.

I do not have a personal problem with people who choose to identify as the gender that differs from the one they feel they were assigned to at birth, and being a woman who takes an interest in fitness and muscle building – something that some people may view as being typically  ‘masculine,’ I understand that masculinity and femininity can be shaped culturally. However, I also have a degree in Statistics, a mathematical science. So when I ask what a woman is, that question is being driven by the logical part of my soul. The part of me  that is responsible for logic and truly wants to get to the bottom of this sex and gender debate – if at all possible.

I have always been fascinated by the human body and its capabilities and it goes without saying that there is an abundance of scientific research that shows biological differences between men and women. The set of biological traits that differentiate women from men are things that I feel should be celebrated. In fact, some of them are things that I pride myself on.

As a woman I am empowered by my ability to give endlessly and selflessly and offer empathy to those who don’t deserve it. As a woman I am empowered by the relentless fight fought by female activists up to 100 years ago that led to women having the choices we have today. But most of all, as a woman, I am empowered by the fact that I have the tools to bring life to this world. 

Let’s be clear…

That’s not to say that women who cannot bear children are not real women. That’s no criticism on women with a history of miscarriages because they have struggles carrying a full term pregnancy. And it most certainly does not mean that women who choose not to have kids are lesser.

Are we clear on that?

I have my own personal reasons for why I shape my womanhood in the manner that I do and I understand that what empowers me might not empower every other woman out there. But…

I cannot change what makes me feel like a woman.

We all have different versions for what we think constitutes a woman and I am aware that what is true to me may not be necessarily true to every other woman. The variables that I use to define what makes make me a woman are for me and I understand that in a society that is ever growing and changing, it is not the same across the board. Which is why I ask….

What is a woman and what does it mean to be a woman in 2018?

My biggest fear surrounding the current dialogue around this topic is the greater impact of such a narrative. If we say that gender is non-binary and that people can claim membership for whichever gender they see fit then it takes science off the table completely.  If we don’t have a certain set of rules governing what makes a man and what makes a woman, and if we as a collective society cannot decide how to define these terms, then what are the implications for our future generations?

In a perfect world we would have a civilisation where each and every person could live as their best and most authentic self. But unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world and that is why I think it is important to engage with these questions and have these discussions.

To celebrate International Women’s Day, let’s pick each other’s brains a bit. Let’s explore the meaning of womanhood and all the beauty that it encompasses: ask yourself, what is a woman and what does it mean to be a woman in 2018? 🙂

Twitter Facebook Instagram

Happy International Women’s Day to all the ladies who identify as such x

[Last Updated: on Sunday 18th March at 7.00pm]

Related Posts

  • 10000
    TimeHop: A nifty Facebook feature designed to depress individuals who have surpassed the prime of their beauty (for those of you wondering). In my early twenties (when I still had my looks going for me), I used to take pride in the fact that I was never enticed by the…
  • 10000
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC7y5sti8iw While it's never fair to paint every man or woman with the same brush, a recent survey suggests that maybe it is something we should start considering when it comes to matters of cheating. The survey highlights the differences in how and why men and women cheat and the…
  • 10000
    Dear Irishmen, There’s more to us than our colour. There’s more to us than our looks. There’s more to us than the body that you have unjustly exotified because you refuse to look at what we can offer you intellectually. We have depth. We have character. We have value. So…
  • 10000
    SLUT. WHORE. TRAMP. SLAG. These are cheap digs women have used to tear each other down, often in an attempt to make themselves feel more valuable. These are words that boys have unfairly labelled girls after being rejected by a pursued love interest. The insult ‘slut’ and other variations of its kind,…
  • 36
    https://youtu.be/G0ajT6aJWuk Ladies, if you’ve ever been called a psycho by a man then I’m sure you’ll resonate with my latest YouTube video. I’ve explored some of the reasons why men call women psychos. I hope you enjoy watching it as much as I enjoyed putting it together for you guys,…
    Tags: women
Posted on December 1, 2014

Christmas gifts for her

Top products/ women

gifts for her

Working in a department store is the ultimate test of self control: I’m constantly tempted to buy the products I think I need – but will probably never use – and spend every day powering through the pain of being surrounded by things that I desperately want, but are way out of my price range.

Luckily, Christmas is a time for receiving gifts as well as giving them so while you’re shopping around for your mammy, sister and female friends, do keep in mind the things you’d like to add to your Christmas list too!

FOR YOUR SISTER

buffalo stilettos

Buffalo Carrie Glitter Pump Stiletto Black, PRICE: €128.00, Buffalo Shoes

daisy marc jacobs

Marc Jacobs Daisy 100ml, PRICE:€81.00, Boots

mug

Personalised Knitted Mug, PRICE: €22.38, Not On The High Street


FOR YOUR MOTHER

brown thomas gift card

Brown Thomas Gift Card, Brown Thomas

molton brown

Molton Brown All-Year Round Aroma Reeds Collection Gift Set, PRICE: €128.00, Arnotts

ysl black opium

Yves Saint Laurent BlackOpium 30ml, PRICE: €57.00, Boots


FOR YOUR FRIENDS

so sue me

So Sue Me What Happened Next, PRICE: €19.99, So Sue Me

the cosmetic outlet

Statement Jewellery, PRICE:€15.00, The Cosmetic Outlet

mac lipstick

MAC Lipstick, PRICE:€19.50, Brown Thomas


FOR YOU

All the above, of course! 😉

Twitter   Facebook   Instagram

Related Posts

  • 10000
    If you still haven’t decided on what to get the men in your life for Christmas then worry not, because I’m here to help! From your forgetful father to your football loving boyfriend, Enhance What’s Yours has pretty much got you covered for this – well, sort of..... Here are some…
  • 10000
    The festive season is upon us, so in my world – and in many other people’s worlds – the annual pre-Christmas splurge has already begun. It is time to start digging into our savings and start shopping for gifts. Unfortunately, that means we can’t really spend as much on ourselves…
  • 10000
     Only three more sleeps until Christmas day, but four more until Stephen's night..... We all know how busy the nightclubs can get on the 26th so of course you'd want to look your best.  I'll admit I've never been out on St.Stephen's night (I know shame on me.... but I'm…
Back to top
%d bloggers like this: