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Posted on March 5, 2015

What not to do after a breakup

Dating

the breakup film

After a breakup, you may feel a combination of many emotions: disappointment, heartbreak and sometimes even regret. The aftermath of a long or shortterm relationship is never pretty, and in cases where a few bottles of wine are involved, it can get a bit messy – I know this, all too well!

While blaring ‘I Will Survive’ in your room every morning and although making a cow out of yourself at a drunken karaoke session are both very much acceptable – in my books anyways, there are just some things that you should never ever doing after a bad breakup.

If the word pride means anything to you, then you will not and you must not do any of the following things:

Contact his family members

Just because his mother adored you, it doesn’t give you a reason to start ringing her and checking up to see how she is doing or asking her how things have been. You didn’t ring her when you thought she was going to be your mother in-law so why the sudden interest in ‘her’ life now? Cut the crap, we all who you’re really asking about!

Create a page for stalking

When your ex gets a friend request from someone who recently joined Facebook just days after the breakup, they might just get a bit suspicious. Let’s face it; most people have had their Facebook accounts longer than they can remember, so spare yourself the embarrassment of setting up a Facebook account for stalking purposes. Remember your pride!

one to adele

Listen to depressing music for too long

Yes, we all love Adele, and yes, we are all clearly aware of what listening to Ed Sheeran does. But whatever you do, don’t dwell on the pain for too long, otherwise you will just be stuck and unable to get out of that mind frame. They say crying is good for the soul, so do allow yourself to shed a few tears, but don’t let it drag on for longer than it should! #StayStrong

Go on a Facebook rant

I know we live in a digital age, and social media plays a big part in most of our lives. But can we just leave Facebook out of it? We are preserving our pride, taking the high road and all that jazz. Pick up kick boxing if you must, apparently it’s a good way to let off steam. Just don’t put your business out there for Facebook to see.

Carry yourself like a hobo

We all have a hoody reserved for those ‘I’ll never get over it,’ moments. It allows us to sulk and feel sorry for ourselves in the comfort of our own homes – or in the home of a good friend. But, you know what they say: looking good is feeling good. Putting on your heels and getting a bit dolled up makes all the difference in the world. Try it out, you might surprise yourself!

end of

Feed your emotions

After a breakup, men usually hit the gym and women usually turn to food for comfort. But while you’re eating away and getting bigger, he is lifting weights and getting fitter.  I’m not saying you should start bodybuilding or anything, but instead of feeding your emotions, take up a fun class like Steps or Zumba. Not only will it help your mental state, it will also help you physically!

Befriend his ex

Purposely befriending someone who used to go out with the person you once were –and probably still are – crazy about, is simply a recipe for disaster! Man bash all you like, but do to it with a trusted friend and not the psycho ex – unless of course, you want to graduate to that title? I didn’t think so.

Jump into bed with a stranger….. or a friend

You feel like crap, and a bit of male attention would be nice right about now. But whatever you do, do not, I repeat, do NOT jump into bed with a complete stranger – or any of your male friends for that matter. Kissing is fine. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of lip locking every now and again. So long as you don’t do it with a friend as you will only regret it (not that I know anything about doing things that you shouldn’t be with your friends…. but I’d imagine that’s how one would feel, right?)

The point is, there are just some things you shouldn’t do after a breakup, and these 8 are some of them! Hope you all have a fab day xxx

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Posted on February 8, 2015

8 types of men you should avoid dating

Dating

big and carrie

I can’t sit here and say that every single one of my exes were idiots, because that would be a lie. But there were certainly one or two – okay maybe three – four max, that I would gladly give that title to.

If all the years that I’ve spent being in either a serious relationship or in a confused situationship, has taught me anything, it is this: there are just some guys you need to steer clear of.

These are the type of men who add absolutely no value to your life – dead weights, is what I call them.  All they do is waste your time, energy and emotions – and there’s nothing worse than wasted emotions, right?

So if you want to avoid listening to ‘I Can’t Make You Love Me,’ while scoffing down the unwanted chocolate you found at the back of your press from last Christmas, then here are some of the men you should stay away from:

it's not you it's me

The eager beaver

He puts pressure on you to meet your parents, he drops random hints about moving in together and you are still unsure about whether or not you had much of an input on having sex with him for the first time – oh it’s all coming back now, isn’t it? The eager beaver doesn’t really care who he is with, as long as he has SOMEONE. He is just in a rush to settle down and find a woman to take care of him – and then he’ll probably have someone else on the side.  Spare yourself the heartache and move on.

The unreliable one

He always says he’s going to take you out, you always hear him talking about how he’d like to spend a weekend away with you. But these things never actually happen, do they? If his actions aren’t matching his words now, don’t expect things to be any different a few months down the line. He’s good at talking the talk, but he ain’t very good at walking the walk. The unreliable one needs to be reminded of where the front door is.

unreliable men

The one who can’t keep his pants up

We all love sex. There’s no arguing that. But if he wants to get dirty between the sheets at every second of the day, then how can you ever trust him to be loyal when you’re not around? Or God forbid, you have an injury and are unable to perform as you normally would? Exactly. Three or four times a day? Absolutely fine. But wanting it all day every day is never a good sign, and it may also call for some professional help.

The one foot in and one foot out kinda guy

He uses his past as an excuse to not fully commit to you. Yet, judging by his track record, his previous relationship don’t seem any different to the night time visit arrangement you have with him now. He is just trying to have his cake and eat it too and is using ‘heartbreak’ as a way to avoid having a real relationship with you. This kind of guy needs to take both of his feet and keep them out. #ByeFelicia

The one who always seems to be short on cash

If it’s not ‘I forgot my wallet at home,’ it’s ‘there has been a delay with my payment.’ Either way, you are starting to wonder whether he even owns a bank account or not. The one who always seems to be short on cash is a pro when it comes to excuses and me thinks him and Mr. Unreliable up there should get together some time.

i'll hold you down

The one with zero ambition

He barely made it through school, and he now spends his days sitting in front of the telly watching sports. He has no idea where his life is going – not that he even cares – and he doesn’t seem to be having any positive influence on your life. As the saying goes ‘a man who can’t commit to himself, can not commit to anyone else,’ I’m pretty sure that says it all.

The one you can’t seem to read

He sends you ambiguous messages and says things that you never fully comprehend. You think he is interested in you, but you still have your doubts. Chances are, the guy is just stringing you along for his own amusement. If he really wanted to have some sort of relationship with you then he would make an effort and you wouldn’t be trying to decipher his messages at 2 o’clock in the morning!

The hot and cold kinda guy

Today you have his undivided attention, and tomorrow you’re wondering why you haven’t heard from him all day. If you’re wondering why you’ve suddenly stopped hearing from him, then that is probably because somebody else has his attention. I don’t know about you, but I’m not very good with sharing my men.

If you have one of these men in your life, then you already know what to do…… hope you all have a good evening 🙂

 

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Posted on November 17, 2014

10 signs you’re a hopeless romantic

Dating

 audrey

I’ve often been told that I’m a hopeless romantic. Although I don’t think I’m one, I do have a fair idea of why someone might call me that. For starters, I am a bit of dreamer: whether it’s to do with my career or my relationships, my mind often wanders to places where most people’s minds don’t.

Secondly, I find it hard to let go. Now, I don’t mean that in the psycho ex kind of way. What I mean by that is I am someone who is very keen (to put it nicely) on getting to the bottom of things and I usually don’t rest until I do.

Lastly, I expect people to go out of their way for me – I know, this is starting to sound bad. But hear me out before you judge: the only reason I would expect that from anyone is because I’d be willing to do the same for them – see, I’m not that crazy after all! 🙂

So in a way, I understand why someone would translate those things into me being a hopeless romantic – even though I disagree – there could be some truth in it. I guess it all comes down to what you actually define as a ‘hopeless romantic.’

tit1

Is it someone who is simply in love with the idea of being in love? (definitely not me) or someone who’s always open-minded about the next relationship even though the previous one went disastrously? (again, not me!)

I think it goes a lot deeper than that.  For me, it is a combination of different attitudes and  behaviours  that make someone a hopeless romantic, not just one or two things.

And if you tick more than just a few of these boxes, then you’re probably not far off from being one yourself:

1. You expect grand gestures: After a fight, you expect to see the words ‘I’m sorry’ written in the sky (but a bouquet of flowers followed by a beautifully wrapped gift as an apology is a close second).

2. You compare your relationship to Allie and Noah: For some reason, you think your love life is comparable to the bickering love birds in The Notebook.

noah

3. You’re in love with the idea of being in love: You admire teens who think they’re in love, you reminisce on the days when YOU were in love and you just adore couples who have been together for years.

4. You strongly believe that PDA: In your eyes, it isn’t official until you’ve practiced PDA regularly.

5. There isn’t a single romcom you haven’t watched: Your capacity for watching romantic comedies is beyond human, can you even think of a romcom you haven’t seen?

6. You think the Eiffel tower and Big Ben make a perfect couple: The more you think of it, the more it makes sense – right?

paris

7. You fantasise about being in a long term relationship with your crush: Sometimes you get more joy in daydreaming about being with your crush than actually spending time in your waking life – sad, but true.

8. You know every single word to ‘I will always love you’ – backwards: This is pretty much says it all.

9. You believe in ‘The One’: Although there is no evidence of it in the present, you feel strangely positive about you and your friends ending up with that perfect somebody.

10. More thought has gone into your wedding day than your career: At this stage, you probably won’t even need a wedding planner for your big day. You’ve been dreaming about being a blushing bride since the day you could pick out your favourite dress.

Have you ever been called a hopeless romantic? If so, I’d love to hear why! 🙂

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Posted on November 6, 2014

10 things to know before going on a Tinder date

Dating

tinder

In today’s world, waking up to Facebook like it’s a daily newspaper has become the norm. With trendy apps such as Instagram and Snapchat, engaging in social media has becoming increasingly popular and people are using dating sites a lot more now than ever before. So when the mating app Tinder first came out, I wasn’t surprised by how many of my friends were using it.

I’m not going to lie, I did download it myself – but that was only because I was curious to see what all the hype was about (not to mention, I was also in London at the time). I got bored of it fairly quickly and no offense to anyone, but when I got back to Ireland, there was a lot of swiping left – not a lot of talent going on here.

Anyways, anyone who knows me knows I can be pretty paranoid about things like this (and everything else), but do I know a few girls who have happily gone on dates with guys they’ve met on Tinder and while I make no judgment on their decisions, I do feel that there are a few things that need to be considered before agreeing to go on what is widely known as ‘a Tinder date.’

  1. If you don’t know what he actually does with himself, then you might want to wait a while before agreeing to meet up.
  2. Surprises are good, but not in situations like this. Make sure you send a screenshot to a trusted friend, so that they’ll know what he looks like – ‘Girl Goes Missing After Tinder Date With Stranger’ is never a nice headline to see.
  3. Some people go through lengths to set up fake profiles, so it could be anyone behind the screen. It won’t hurt  to let someone know where you’re going – better safe than sorry, right?
  4. You could be talking to the same person as your friend – always a good idea to check in with the girls, you don’t want to end up “falling” for the same guy now, do you?
  5. He could – or should I say – he probably  just wants you for the one night. So make sure you’re both on the same page.
  6. It’s quite likely he isn’t looking for something too serious (otherwise, he wouldn’t be on Tinder).Again, know what you’re getting yourself into.
  7. There’s a 99.9% chance that you aren’t the only person he is talking to or planning to take on a date.
  8. He might not show up at all  – yes, this does happen.
  9. You may attract a stalker (I use the world ‘stalker,’ very loosely here).
  10. Once you delete him from your chat, he’s gone on TINDER forever but it doesn’t stop him from finding you on other social media sites.

Have you ever been on a Tinder date? If so, feel free to share your story below! 🙂

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Posted on October 28, 2014

Do you like him or are you just obsessed with him?

Dating

obsession

I found out I don’t like him. I was just obsessed with the idea of him, even though I still want him.

– Anonymous

A normal person would look at those words and question the mental health of the speaker. But when those words were spoken to me, I had an ‘a ha’ moment.

It made me realise that a lot of the time, women are simply obsessed with the idea they have of someone. Sometimes, we become so hooked on the image we’ve created of our crush that it starts to look a tad bit like an obsession.

So this leaves me with a very legitimate question: do you really like him or are you just obsessed with him?

Here are some telltale signs you may be on the road to the land of obsession:

1. You can’t go a day without checking his Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn (which you purposely set to anonymous) and all the other social media sites you’ve joined to facilitate your stalking.

2. Everything you think you know about him you’ve heard through a third party (in most cases, Facebook). 

3. Your social media spying has become a call for concern among your group of friends.

olivia boss chick

4. Can you even remember the last time you’ve spent time with your friends? Exactly.

5. His name comes up in every conversation (it’s still a mystery how a conversation about milk ends up being a conversation about him).

6. He is your first thing you think of in the mornings and the last thing on your mind before bed. He is basically wrapped up in every single one of your thoughts – and not in a romantic way either!

7. You’ve lost track of the normal things in life like taking a shower (I joke), but you do feel like you’re slacking behind in college/work.

8. You know his group of friends just a little too well (Remember: you were never introduced to them). 

9. The words  ‘If only he knew how perfect I am for him’ have become something you use on a daily basis.

10. You have continuous thoughts of marriage and what your kids would look like.

11. You seem to be the only person who can see things working between you and him.

12. Your friends tell you you’re obsessed – now if that doesn’t raise the alarm, then I don’t know what else will!

Hope you enjoyed this post! If so, be sure to check out 12 mistakes women make with men and 8 signs it’s all in your head. I also have another giveaway coming soon so keep an eye on the blog 🙂

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Posted on October 4, 2014

8 signs it’s all in your head

Dating

signs it is all in your head

I recently spoke to a good friend of mine who was telling me how devastated he was about something that happened between him and his love interest.

While it was quite saddening to listen to, I also thought it was a bit of a relief – let’s face it, men aren’t exactly the best advocates for showing their emotions, so I found it quite comforting to see this happen for a change  (especially for him).

So what went wrong?

In my opinion, he made the classical mistake some women make when they are overwhelmed by the emotions they feel for someone – create something that isn’t really there. That’s right, he was in a dream-lationship (I totally just made that word up!), nonetheless, that’s exactly what was happening.

signs it is all in your head 2

So what are the signs that it’s all in your head? What are the signs that indicate you’ve been creating a relationship that doesn’t really exist and is simply a figure of your imagination?

Since being young and naive subjected me to go through exactly this (I like to think I’ve grown), I don’t find it too hard to pinpoint some of the behaviours and actions of someone who is clearly delusional about what is happening between them and their love interest.

Here are the signs that you need a reality check:

1. He never pops the question
He never mentions anything about going on a date with you, meeting up or simply spending time together. If he wanted to take you out, then you would have known at this stage.

2. You’re the only one starting sentences with ‘I feel’
You have no idea how he ‘feels’ and yet you are under the impression that you’re drawn to one another. You can’t unilaterally decide how he feels without him giving you a speck of a hint! It just doesn’t work like that.

3. You constantly imagine going on dates with him but you never actually GO on them
You see where I’m going with this one?

4. He never really rings you….or texts you…. or contacts you
Basically, he doesn’t show any initiative. You text him first, you Viber him during his lunch break: you are always making the first move – kinda self explanatory don’t you think?

if he wants you

5. You wonder whether or not you’re going to hear from him
If you’re concerned about the next time you’ll be hearing from him then clearly you haven’t established any sort of relationship with him.

6. You’ve never even kissed or been in a situation where it is likely to happen
Does the word friend-zone sound familiar at all?

7. You’re doing all the talking
It always seems like getting words out of him is almost like drawing blood from a stone. Yes, there are shy guys and then there are guys who are just disinterested.

8. You don’t know much about him                  
Again, you shouldn’t have to drag anything out of him. If the feelings were mutual then he would more than likely be talking to you about his interests.

If any of these are just too close to home, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate the situation! Lord knows I had to…..

Feel free to share your thoughts on this, if any and hope you have a great weekend! 🙂

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Posted on September 2, 2014

12 mistakes women make with men

Dating

mistakes women make with men

After giving it plenty of time and consideration, I’ve decided to finally unleash my inner Carrie Bradshaw. She wasn’t exactly an expert when it came to men and frankly, neither am I.

However, I do have some very interesting stories that pretty much go from one extreme to another  – that’s putting it lightly.

Also, after hearing stories from female friends as well as other women, I think it’s fair to say we’ve all made one or two of these mistakes at least once in our lives of being ‘young and naive.’

1. Confusing sex with love
Most of the time, sex is sex – nothing more, nothing less.

2. Getting too attached
Being invited over should never EVER translate to leaving your toothbrush at his – even if you did stay the night.

3. Overanalysing
The thinking: the constant and endless thinking that’s enough to put us in a straight jacket. Maybe, just maybe, the words ‘okay then,’ really just mean ‘okay then’.

12 mistakes women make with men 3

Photo Credit

4. Not making them work for it
Don’t just give it to any Tom, Dick or Harry who comes along, make them work for it – make them earn what they want.

5. Making them work too hard
The opposite applies too. Push them too far off the edge and they just might stay there! I guess the key here is just to find the right balance (let me know when you’ve found it!)

6. Opening up too soon
This pretty much sends them running to the hills. No poems, no love letters, no confessions – just don’t do it.

7. Putting them up on a pedestal
No good can ever come of putting your man, lover or crush up on a pedestal.

8. Emasculating them
I’m all for girl power and the whole women rule the world jazz, but let’s be honest; men like to set the pace. Sometimes, leaving the ball in their court will show you whether or not he’s really interested.

12 mistakes women make with men 2

Photo Credit

9. Expecting them to change
Change comes from within so don’t hold your breath if you think he’s going to give up one of his ‘bad habits’ before he’s ready. We think they’re going to change and they think we won’t – what a beautiful world we live in!

10. Becoming someone else
Women who change themselves for men are only setting themselves out for disappointment. Especially since the truth always comes out in the end.

11. Being too available
Nobody wants an eager beaver; it’s never a good look either on a woman or a man for that matter.

12. Expecting too much
At this stage, I’ve realised that sometimes it’s better to just count the blessings that are already there than to complain about the things that aren’t!

So there you have it, 12 mistakes women make with men straight from the horses mouth ( I kid!) but I can’t say I’m not guilty here! Feel free to share any thoughts you might have down below 🙂

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