I recently spoke to a good friend of mine who was telling me how devastated he was about something that happened between him and his love interest.
While it was quite saddening to listen to, I also thought it was a bit of a relief – let’s face it, men aren’t exactly the best advocates for showing their emotions, so I found it quite comforting to see this happen for a change (especially for him).
So what went wrong?
In my opinion, he made the classical mistake some women make when they are overwhelmed by the emotions they feel for someone – create something that isn’t really there. That’s right, he was in a dream-lationship (I totally just made that word up!), nonetheless, that’s exactly what was happening.
So what are the signs that it’s all in your head? What are the signs that indicate you’ve been creating a relationship that doesn’t really exist and is simply a figure of your imagination?
Since being young and naive subjected me to go through exactly this (I like to think I’ve grown), I don’t find it too hard to pinpoint some of the behaviours and actions of someone who is clearly delusional about what is happening between them and their love interest.
Here are the signs that you need a reality check:
1. He never pops the question
He never mentions anything about going on a date with you, meeting up or simply spending time together. If he wanted to take you out, then you would have known at this stage.
2. You’re the only one starting sentences with ‘I feel’
You have no idea how he ‘feels’ and yet you are under the impression that you’re drawn to one another. You can’t unilaterally decide how he feels without him giving you a speck of a hint! It just doesn’t work like that.
3. You constantly imagine going on dates with him but you never actually GO on them
You see where I’m going with this one?
4. He never really rings you….or texts you…. or contacts you
Basically, he doesn’t show any initiative. You text him first, you Viber him during his lunch break: you are always making the first move – kinda self explanatory don’t you think?
5. You wonder whether or not you’re going to hear from him
If you’re concerned about the next time you’ll be hearing from him then clearly you haven’t established any sort of relationship with him.
6. You’ve never even kissed or been in a situation where it is likely to happen
Does the word friend-zone sound familiar at all?
7. You’re doing all the talking
It always seems like getting words out of him is almost like drawing blood from a stone. Yes, there are shy guys and then there are guys who are just disinterested.
8. You don’t know much about him
Again, you shouldn’t have to drag anything out of him. If the feelings were mutual then he would more than likely be talking to you about his interests.
If any of these are just too close to home, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate the situation! Lord knows I had to…..
Feel free to share your thoughts on this, if any and hope you have a great weekend!