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Posted on April 23, 2018

5 tips and tricks for dealing with social media trolls

How To/ Tips

While it is not uncommon for content creators to receive online abuse every now and again, I was quite fortunate to have skipped those horrible experiences for the most part of my blogging career. Fast forward a few years since launching my blog, and now the peaceful days of not dealing with online hate have become a long and distant memory to me.

Thankfully, dealing with trolls is still only a new phenomenon for me. It is one that started around the time I publicly spoke out about my experience of being hypersexualised as a Black Irish woman on dating sites. Following the publication of my viral open letter, it’s become the norm for me to moderate the comment section of my various social media platforms.

Being called a ‘darkie’ on YouTube has become such a regular occurrence for me at this point that it surprises me not to get a negative comment that is racially motivated. While I am not one to take nasty comments personally, I sometimes wonder if reading them will have negative effects on me on a subconscious level – I guess, only time will tell!

As someone who is now well versed in dealing with faceless profiles, I’ve decided to share my top tips for dealing with social media trolls 🙂

1. Stay calm and composed

If you choose to give hateful trolls the time of day, then a calm and composed reply may be a way to go! Emotionally driven arguments can only take you so far -not to mention how upset you might get after giving in to their negativity! If you keep a rational mind and reply calmly, there’s a lower chance of being dragged down to their miserable level.

2. Laugh it off

Nothing drives a social media troll crazier than seeing how little someone is affected by their nasty words and backwards ‘opinions.’ Use a bit of humour to lighten up the situation, because at the end of the day – who is this person, really? Not giving a troll their desired response will eventually wear them down and make them lose at their own pathetic game.

3. ‘Like’ it

If you’re someone who believes that online trolls don’t even deserve a millisecond of your day, then a simple liking of a comment will suffice. If it’s a Twitter troll and you’re feeling a bit generous with your time, then a retweet will show them who’s bawse! 🙂

4. Dirty tactics

I’m not one who believes in fighting fire with fire. With that said, I do believe that there are some idiots out there who deserved to be publicly named and shamed. If you ever have it in you to play dirty then take a screen shot of the abusive comment, post it on the platform where you have the most followers, tag the person (if possible), then let your fandom deal with the rest *upside down emoji*

5. Report, block and ignore

If all else fails…report, block and ignore.  I know this can be hard, but deep down most of us know that this is the best course of action to take. If a stranger is so worried about what you’re doing, it means they must lead a pathetic and lonely life. Pray for their happiness and you keep doing you.

On a final note…

If you’re really struggling to deal with online negativity, then rant to a trusted friend over a cuppa and remind yourself that even Beyoncé gets hate. I don’t know about you…..but by my logic, that basically means you’re a #kween! 🙂

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Posted on April 20, 2018

Announcement: Genderquake hits the screens next month!!!

Sexuality

Genderquake cast Photo credit: Channel 4

The cat is finally out of the bag….

I’ve been sitting on this for the good part of seven months at this stage and now that I’ve attended the private screening for this upcoming series, I can finally spill the beans!!!

Towards the end of last year, I participated in a two-part Channel 4 documentary called Genderquake. Filming for this groundbreaking series involved cohabiting with ten strangers for a full week to have spirited debates around gender, sexuality and everything in between!

Although I was a bit apprehensive about partaking in the programme initially, I have to say, I am proud of my contribution on the show. I met some truly wonderful people who challenged my ideologies in ways that continue to intrigue me today.

I look forward to seeing how it pans out for us all and I hope you guys tune in next month 🙂

Channel 4 Studios, London

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Genderquake airs on May 7th at 9PM on Channel 4

A massive thank you to Hamish Fergusson, Nick Hornby, Tina Flintoff, Mikey Trotter, Demi Doyle, and everyone at Optomen involved in the production of this show! xx

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Posted on April 16, 2018

7 days with no social media: self-liberating or hell on earth?

Uncovered

This time last week, I committed to giving up social media for one full week. To answer your thoughts, I have not lost my mind – at least that’s what I like to tell myself. I had just  come to the realisation that mindlessly scrolling through Instagram was negatively impacting me in more ways than just one. My obsession with Twitter, an app that more or less promotes talking to yourself, was making me worry about getting relentlessly trolled and Whatsapp, although it doesn’t quit fit in with the other two, was a deadly poison for me.

In a nutshell, I had gotten to a stage where my vast majority of my relationships survived on an app or in front of a screen. Not in the real world.

I decided enough was enough, time to cut the cord and do something about what most would consider to be an unhealthy addiction. As I briefly mentioned in my blog about being addicted to the gym, many people tend to associate the word addiction with alcohol, drugs and sex – if at all. Very few people consider the likes of social media or technology as something that can be an addiction even though there is an overwhelming amount of research to show that endless Facebook scrolling activates the same area of the brain as taking lethal drugs.

 

I don’t believe that social media addiction – or any addiction for that matter – is one to be taken lightly.  So this time last week, I decided to deactivate all the apps that reduced my level of productivity or generated feelings of negativity for me. This meant no Instagram, no Twitter, no Facebook, no YouTube, no WhatsApp and no Netflix (for good measure) for a full week. I didn’t ban the use of emails as I still needed to stay in touch with PR companies and brands, but anything that rendered me unproductive or didn’t help me flourish my mind or enrich my life, had to go.

No Instagram, no Twitter, no Facebook, no YouTube, no WhatsApp and no Netflix for one full week. Here’s how I survived….. 

DAY 1

My first day of waking up to zero notifications felt more like a relief than anything else. I felt unburdened by the usual messages and notifications that bombard my phone and mind. Since I didn’t have any WhatsApp messages to reply to, I didn’t waste any time lying in bed when I woke up. I got up for the gym at 9am and the after brunch, spent the day with the fam bam before getting stuck into some blog work. After having what I felt was a productive day, I struggled to fill the time that I would normally spend scrolling through Twitter highlights so I decided to hit the gym again in the evening – I know, twice in one day! I think it’s safe to say that day one with no social media was a success in the fitness department 🙂

DAY 2

I woke up as fresh as a daisy and well before my alarm since I had an early night – must have been wrecked from the two workouts! I had plans to spend the day with a friend who rescheduled for the next day so after my morning gym session and post workout fuel, I spent the day in Starbucks getting some writing done – over 16,00 words to be precise! When I got home, I filled the void with a 3 hour Joe Rogan podcast, which is always a learning experience for me. I then did some media prep before having another early night.

DAY 3

I hit the gym first thing in the morning – no surprise there. Then after my brunch, I met up with my friend and spent the day with him. I wasn’t spending the day exchanging voice notes with people I called my ‘friends,’ as I normally would. Instead, I was having a real life connection with a real friend which quickly made me realise that my over dependence on social media has been robbing me of my primitive desire to be around people. I want to say the third day of my social media detox was the day I realised I was a gal who didn’t need social media in my life…

Until this happened…..

DAY 4

While the first few days of my social media diet occasionally saw me instinctively picking up my phone to check for notifications, the reality of my situation really hit me after three nights of living in deprivation. On the third night, I had a dream – or shall I say, a nightmare that I was having a few  conversations on WhatsApp. It felt so painfully real until I woke up in the middle of the night realising I was suffering withdrawal symptoms. If that isn’t serious signs of addiction, then I don’t know what is!

DAY 5

In at an attempt to forget the WhatsApp nightmare, I decided to take another stab of teaching myself how to swim.  After months of living in a delusion and telling myself I would learn how to swim, I had gotten absolutely nowhere. One week of no social media and on the fifth day I managed to do three quarters of a length in the pool for the first time – I actually stayed afloat, kicked and stroked all at the same time! If anything at all were to come out of a no social media challenge, it is this!

DAY 6

Saturday. Usually the most depressing day of the week for a mostly singleton. But I went to the gym as per usually and spent the afternoon making a crap load of phone calls. The bulk of my day was spent with my mother before calling down to one of the girls. I had zero anxiety about not being on social media at all since I was around real humans outside my immediate family. No concerns about what Twitter trolls might be tweeting, nothing at all!  – but then again, why would I? I’m a pro swimmer now! 🙂

DAY 7

My last day of no social media saw me spending the afternoon in Starbucks,  editing the blog posts I wrote during the week. I planned for the week ahead and mentally prepared myself for rejoining the social media world. I saw another human being, which is always a positive but I’m not going to go counting my chickens just yet -WhatsApp is my first love, after all! 🙂

Reflecting on the past week….

As someone who usually spends the vast majority of time cultivating relationships on WhatsApp, I was surprised by how well I handled not being on social media for a full week – besides the weird dream I had mid-way through my challenge. Getting rid of Netflix in particular meant that I had early nights, which led to early mornings and increased productivity. I filled the time I would usually spend on social media with writing and focusing on various upcoming projects.

As for my obsession with WhatsApp? I dealt with it by spending a lot of my time connecting with  people face to face or making phone calls. Overall, my week was a massive success and rejoining social media today made me realise that I wasn’t really  missing much anyways! 🙂

I would 100% recommend it!

In fact, I may even make it a point to do this detox every couple of weeks. My overuse of social media was not only affecting my level of productivity, but it was also a contributing factor to my appearance anxiety. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I got a lot more done in the week that I refrained from using social media than I did in the two weeks prior to my challenge. But this had me in a better place both physically and mentally.

Have you ever done a no social media challenge? If so, I’d love to hear from you! Now that I am finally back on Twitter, you can Tweet me @FilomenaKaguako 🙂

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Posted on March 11, 2018

12 words of wisdom from African mothers

women

When I think about my life and the person I have become, I think about how blessed I am to have had the upbringing that I did. My migrant parents laid an excellent foundation for my siblings and I to follow here in Ireland, and it led us to becoming strong and confident individuals. Had they chosen a different brand of parenting, a style that was a closer  match for a typical African household, then I genuinely believe I would not be the expressive woman I am today.

My mother in particular has helped create the template I wish to follow when raising my own children in the future. While there were stages in my life when we didn’t have the strongest mother-daughter relationship, there were certainly times when we did. Now that I am of a mature age, I can appreciate any unsolicited advice given by my mother. There is so much truth in every word she speaks and the life lessons she passes on are more value to me now than ever before.

Despite us growing up in different cultures, her African words of sage have proven themselves to be useful here in Ireland and this has made me proud to call myself an African-Irish. Among many other things, I have my African background to thank for a lot of my mannerisms and my nurturing nature. I think it has instilled values in me that I would not have had if I didn’t have African parents, or more particularly, an African mother.

The wise words of an African mother can sometimes seem harsh, but as life has painfully taught me, mama bear knows best. The most valuable piece of advice my mother ever gave me was “Don’t let your flaws get in the way of you going after what you want,” I recite those words every single time without fail in moments of doubt.

On this Mother’s Day, I wanted to celebrate African mothers and spread their words of wisdom. I’ve decided to ask my African-Irish peers to reflect on some of the values instilled in them by their mothers surrounding family, love, life and more. Here are 12 inspirational words of wisdom from the African mothers of Ireland 🙂

On Family

Always be on your best behaviour and protect the name of the family you’ve been given.

The river that forgets its source will dry out. You can never forget your mom.

On Love

You’ll appreciate your height when you’re older. Tallness is beautiful. Love yourself.

Only talk to men that want to carry you about like an egg, only those men will love you.

On Life Experience & Positivity

No matter how old you are, you will never have more rags than I do.

Be positive. Speak the positive things you want to happen for you and it shall come true.

On Following Dreams

Mommy says ‘as long as you speak the language, anything is possible,’ kind of letting me know that I have the keys or fundamentals to make it with just speaking their language. Combining that with any other skills, I have pretty much the recipes for success.

My mother said I can be whatever I wanted to be and I really believed it.

On Value

Never expect anyone to see you as an equal unless you posses the qualities.

Half bread is better than none

On Life

The best thing my mom always told us that stuck with me is ‘a thief doesn’t like to be stolen from.’

Also, ‘when your mind makes stupid decisions, it’s the body that pays for it.’

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you twice,  but if you know what’s good for you, you’ll listen to your mother!

Whether you’re an African mother, an Irish mammy, a young mom, a single mommy, a step-mum, still learning the ropes of motherhood or a soon-to-be mummy, Happy Mother’s Day to you! 🙂

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Thanks to everyone who was kind enough to pass on their mother’s little nuggets of wisdom to me. I hope each of you take away something extra from this blog post! Xx

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Posted on March 10, 2018

Win!!! My Herbalife faves to help fuel your gym workouts!

win

Herbalife Pro 20 Select Vanilla Shake

With summer just around the corner there can’t be a better time to start focusing on your healthy eating regime. As someone who is a huge advocate for fitness and healthy eating, I have decided to team up with Herbalife and run a competition so that one of you guys can join me on my Herbalife journey and get fit for the summer!

I’ll be giving away some of the Herbalife faves to help you excel in your gym workouts, so if you’re up for a bit of a challenge, then keep reading to see what you could potentially win if you decide to enter this competition 🙂

 

F1 Healthy Meal Nutritional Shake

F1 Healthy Meal Nutritional Shake

F1 Healthy Meal Nutritional Shake

This best selling product is free from soya, lactose and gluten! The vanilla flavour tastes amazing but it comes in about six other flavours too. One portion contains about 220 cals and 18g of protein when mixed with dairy-free milk. This shake is incredibly filling and creamy to taste when mixed with milk. It helps to know that it does a stellar job at keeping sweet cravings at bay! 🙂

Aloe Vera Concentrate

Herbalife Aloe Vera Concentrate

Herbalife Aloe Vera Concentrate

For someone who was never versed at drinking water regularly, this aloe concentrate helped me immensely. Three capsules of this concentrate gives water a citrus taste making it more likely to drink throughout the day, which as you probably know, is important for regular gym goers. A glass of this aloe concentrate helps soothe the stomach and promotes good intestinal health making it work like a shower for your inside! 🙂

Herbalife PRO 20 Soy Protein Select

Herbalife PRO 20 Soy Protein Shake

Herbalife PRO 20 Soy Protein Shake

While this is still very new to the gang, it deserves a few minutes (or sentences) of fame. This shake is another dairy free shake by Herbalife, except it contains soy protein. While I am quite restrictive in how much soy I consume, I had to become accustomed to the taste. Thankfully it didn’t take very long with this vanilla flavour!  One serving of this contains 20g of protein and 146 calories. To top things off, it comes with a scoop – oh, the little things! 🙂

DO YOU WANT TO WIN THESE HERBALIFE PRODUCTS!?  🙂

(This giveaway is now closed. The winner is Isabel Antonio, Galway)

Herbalife Pro 20 Select Vanilla Shake

To be in with a chance of winning a brand new packet of my my Herbalife faves, you must do the following:

Terms & Conditions:

You must be a resident of Ireland or the UK. You must be over the age of 18 and if you live with your parents you must consent from them to enter this competition as the winner will be required to give me their address in order to have the prize sent out to them. There will only be one winner. This person will have 24 hours to claim their prize, otherwise another winner will be chosen in their place. Giveaway begins on the 12th of March and ends on March 31st at 9pm.

Best of luck to everyone who decides to partake in this giveaway, may the odds be in your favour! 🙂

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To read more about some of the other Herbalife products I love, then have a read of this blog post or check out my video review on YouTube. Full disclaimer here

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Posted on March 8, 2018

Today is International Women’s Day…but what does being a woman mean in 2018?

Sexuality/ women

Disclaimer: This blog post is referring to my own subjective experience of being a cis woman and my dealings with cis men. It is in no way to refer to trans or non binary people, I support them in their journeys and I would never want for this blog post to denounce their gender identity. New experience has taught me that the metrics I use to measure my womanhood are not representative of every woman, they are unique and very central to me (I may touch on the “why?” at a later time). I have no intention of being exclusionary as I wrote this blog from my own personal perspective, which inherently is that of a cis woman. I recognise that not all women identify as women in a similar way to me – and I think these differences should be celebrated! Outside of this discussion, we are all human and that is all that matters! I hope you enjoy this read and I look forward to hearing your feedback 🙂

Without further ado….

What does being a woman mean in 2018?

For all of human history, there have only ever been two sexes: male and female. What separated one from the other is that a male (or a man) has the tools to impregnate a female and a female (or woman) has the reproductive organs to carry out said pregnancy. Simple, right? I’m afraid not.

In our current climate of the Post-Truth era, it is becoming increasingly difficult for people to define what I have always considered to be basic biology. The rise of gender theory and the concept that gender is non-binary and is something that can be chosen by an individual, is creating a landscape in which it is seemingly no longer acceptable to rely on simple biology to determine the things we have always known to be a factually true.

Gender theory removes fixed biological determinants for what makes someone a man or in this debate, what makes a person a woman. It proposes the idea that sex and gender are two completely different categories thus those who are born as male and consequently have male appendages can someday be women simply by saying so.

It more or less looks like this….

While I take no issue with how people choose to present themselves to the world, I personally feel that the contribution of science is something that we cannot ignore, especially when it comes to matters of what being a woman means. The notion that sex and gender are completely uncorrelated perpetuates a free-for-all world where males can be women and females can be men and as someone who has lived and experienced a lot of complexities that not only come from being born a woman, but also be born a woman of colour, I feel that maintaining such an idea devalues my unique female experiences. It fails to acknowledge some of the pressures that I was faced with being born a woman, but most of all I think it  reduces me to just one thing.

I do not have a personal problem with people who choose to identify as the gender that differs from the one they feel they were assigned to at birth, and being a woman who takes an interest in fitness and muscle building – something that some people may view as being typically  ‘masculine,’ I understand that masculinity and femininity can be shaped culturally. However, I also have a degree in Statistics, a mathematical science. So when I ask what a woman is, that question is being driven by the logical part of my soul. The part of me  that is responsible for logic and truly wants to get to the bottom of this sex and gender debate – if at all possible.

I have always been fascinated by the human body and its capabilities and it goes without saying that there is an abundance of scientific research that shows biological differences between men and women. The set of biological traits that differentiate women from men are things that I feel should be celebrated. In fact, some of them are things that I pride myself on.

As a woman I am empowered by my ability to give endlessly and selflessly and offer empathy to those who don’t deserve it. As a woman I am empowered by the relentless fight fought by female activists up to 100 years ago that led to women having the choices we have today. But most of all, as a woman, I am empowered by the fact that I have the tools to bring life to this world. 

Let’s be clear…

That’s not to say that women who cannot bear children are not real women. That’s no criticism on women with a history of miscarriages because they have struggles carrying a full term pregnancy. And it most certainly does not mean that women who choose not to have kids are lesser.

Are we clear on that?

I have my own personal reasons for why I shape my womanhood in the manner that I do and I understand that what empowers me might not empower every other woman out there. But…

I cannot change what makes me feel like a woman.

We all have different versions for what we think constitutes a woman and I am aware that what is true to me may not be necessarily true to every other woman. The variables that I use to define what makes make me a woman are for me and I understand that in a society that is ever growing and changing, it is not the same across the board. Which is why I ask….

What is a woman and what does it mean to be a woman in 2018?

My biggest fear surrounding the current dialogue around this topic is the greater impact of such a narrative. If we say that gender is non-binary and that people can claim membership for whichever gender they see fit then it takes science off the table completely.  If we don’t have a certain set of rules governing what makes a man and what makes a woman, and if we as a collective society cannot decide how to define these terms, then what are the implications for our future generations?

In a perfect world we would have a civilisation where each and every person could live as their best and most authentic self. But unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world and that is why I think it is important to engage with these questions and have these discussions.

To celebrate International Women’s Day, let’s pick each other’s brains a bit. Let’s explore the meaning of womanhood and all the beauty that it encompasses: ask yourself, what is a woman and what does it mean to be a woman in 2018? 🙂

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Happy International Women’s Day to all the ladies who identify as such x

[Last Updated: on Sunday 18th March at 7.00pm]

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Do men age better than women?

Dating

TimeHop: A nifty Facebook feature designed to depress individuals who have surpassed the prime of their beauty (for those of you wondering).

In my early twenties (when I still had my looks going for me), I used to take pride in the fact that I was never enticed by the idea of plastic surgery. Now some of you may not be surprised by the concept of a young twenty something year old – with not a wrinkle in sight – not finding cosmetic surgery attractive. But believe it or not, I would have known plenty of ladies who spoke quite enthusiastically about surgery from a very young age.

Whether I had a big booty or not (I didn’t), any insecurity I had growing up was always something I was willing to suffer through with. I wanted to age naturally and with grace, even if I was a skinny black girl with a ‘pancake’ bum. All the Kylie Jenners in the world would not have made me change my mind about plastic surgery – again, I was in my early twenties so I still had my looks going for me, the importance of this cannot be overstated.

Fast forward a few years (I won’t say how many) but fast forward to a point in my life where I now understand why some women would opt for elective procedures that are said to prevent the much-dreaded “mature” look. There is nothing scarier than looking at an old photograph of yourself at the age of what you regard as the prime of your beauty only to stare back at your own reflection and see that.

Note: If you try this at home, you’re at your own risk.

A lot can change in a short space of time, and these changes can happen fast. So much like any millennial experiencing early signs of aging, I turned to my much-trusted support system: Instagram, every girl’s most trustworthy and reliable friend (that was sarcasm).

Using an Instagram poll, I asked them to vote on something I have believed for a very long time to be true: do men age better than women?

Since this is something I have always believed, I was in complete shock by how divided the answers were. Some respondants thought the answer was obvious and shared similar views to me, while others believed the debate should be around the stigmas attached to female aging. While it isn’t difficult to reason with both of these views, make of what you will on the other more questionable comments people had on the matter.

I did an even split for male and female respondents so that I don’t appear to be propagating my own aging agenda 🙂

  • Question: Do men age better than women?
  • Final result: 58% Yes | 42% No

Male responses

It’s acceptable for a man to grow into a silver fox but women are pressured into looking younger and to not show signs of aging.

Most women are entirely reliant on their looks, they are not subject to the same criteria as men and yet they want all the sh!t men have worked for.

People like the idea of a modern world where we can say women age just as well as men because that’s a nice warm thing for everybody to believe in but that’s just not true. Women have the power from 18 to 30 and then from that point it starts dipping. Men have no power whatsoever till we’re about 28, a woman won’t even look at you until then.

It’s societal expectations. Some men hit their mid to late 20s and look the same into their late 30s/40. I think a part of that is also that we don’t stop growing physically until we hit 25 (I think). I do often wonder though if make up has long term negative effects on someone’s skin from wearing it so often?

Women are better looking for longer, men only get to look good when they’re silver foxes, can’t we have that at least😅

Female responses

In my opinion they don’t age well. I am looking at the all round picture as looks can be deceiving. Men toil alot in their life time, their bodies endure so much that women are the only ones who out live them regardless lol I know this may sound offensive and traditional but it’s true.

Noooooo they don’t! I’m 11months older than my husband and everyone thinks I’m younger than him. Last year a woman thought I was his daughter. She was drunk…but yano It still counts 😂😂

Society is obsessed with women’s beauty being linked to youthfulness. Even in how they pay compliments, a man looking younger than his age is nearly negative and for women a great thing. We say things like “Oh 40 is the new 20”.

Yes they do, it’s so depressing 😭

Women know that after a certain age everything starts to go south in the looks department, that’s why they feel the need to “trap” men.

Regardless of the ratio of yes to no, there is no denying that we still have a lot of mixed responses here. Thanks to my *early aging signs that we shall not yet speak of* I will continue to think that among many other things, us women do not have it easy in the aging department.

So to the person who first coined the phrase ‘black don’t crack,’ I’d like a refund.

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Posted on February 19, 2018

5 ways to detox after a weekend of binge eating

Health

5 ways to detox after a weekend of binge eating

Is it just me or does anyone else have a non-existent healthy eating regime over the weekend? As much as I try to lead a healthy life, I always find myself being a bit more lenient about my food choices as the week progresses and by Friday evening, any balanced diet I thought I had goes straight out the window.

The weekend gone was particularly bad, for reasons I will not get into (Mother Nature’s monthly visit) *cough* I indulged in almost every sugary treat in sight: from marshmallows dipped in melted chocolate to soft sponge Madeira cake – the recollection is torturous, alright!

But much like any vicious cycle, I ended up riddled with guilt by Sunday evening. Although it might not be possible to undo extreme levels of binge eating, I do believe that a good detox can help re-establish a healthy lifestyle after the fact.

Here are some of the things I will be doing this week to help me get back on track. If your weekend was anything like mine, I suggest you give these a try also:

1. Hit the gym

Irish fitness bunny sitting on gym ball

This is probably the last thing you want to be hearing. But as someone who spent yesterday afternoon sweating off my weekend binge, I can attest to exercise being a good place to start. Even though you can’t out train a bad diet, you can start your week off with activities that will pump your body with feel-good hormones, which will motivate you to stay on top of things. Don’t feel obliged to start off with an intense workout however, exercise should never be a punishment. Exercise is your friend, not the enemy and food is your fuel – never forget that! 🙂

2. Flush it out with H20

Water

I always find myself drinking more water than usual after a weekend of overeating. All the extra salt and sugar in the body’s system after an indulgent weekend can dehydrate the body and lead to bloating and tiredness, that’s why it is important to put in a little bit more effort to flush out toxins. Staying hydrated throughout the day is always helpful. I find that having a glass of uisce first thing in the morning, before and after every meal and before bed is a good rule to follow.

3. Clipper Organic and Fairtrade Detox Green Tea*

Clipper Teas Organic Detox Green Tea

A delicious and mellow green tea with a refreshing citrus burst and the fragrant boost of elderflower, nettle and fennel

If you get bored of the water and want to switch things up a bit, then Clipper Teas is the perfect solution. I’ve been sipping on this citrus brew over the past couple of days and have found it to be absolutely heavenly. According to Nutritional Therapist Libby Limon, green tea has “high levels of plant chemicals that work in your liver to help neutralise and eliminate toxins.” Having about 2 – 3 cups of Clipper Organic and Fairtrade Detox Green Tea a day can help support the body’s detoxification system and make you feel more revitalised after an overindulgent weekend! 🙂

RRP: £2.05, Waitrose (UK) or Holland & Barratts (IRE) 

4. Steam it up

Facial steamer

As little as ten minutes a day in the steam room can do your body the world of good. I used to frequent the sauna in my gym, but found that it would often leave me with breakouts on my face that resembled a heat rash. I switched the sauna for the steam room and it has come with a host of benefits. As well as helping to sweat out any pollutants, it offers mental and physical relaxation. If we want to be a bit vain about it (why not) regular steam room sessions also brighten up the skin, leaving it with a healthy and natural glow.

5. Sleep tight

Sleep it works

Having an early night is not only important for feeling energised in the  morning. But I find when I clock out early, I avoid the temptation of having a late night snack. You might not have noticed, but the longer you stay up, the more likely you will feel peckish and eat unnecessarily. Since most reasonable snacks have about 200 calories, it would be fair to say that skipping late night snacks can result in saving about 1,000 calories by the end of the week – I don’t know about you, but it sounds to me like getting a few extra early nights a week might be more beneficial than you’d think!

I hope you find these suggestions helpful, and remember: you’re allowed to fall off the track every now and again, we’re only human. All that matters is that you get back up and focus on the future. Should you find yourself falling victim to another cheeky weekend, feel free to refer to this list again! 🙂

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*This product was sent to me by a PR company, please find disclaimer here.

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Posted on February 14, 2018

That sugar baby life: dreamy romance or glorified prostitution?

Dating

When I first heard about sugar relationships, I was rather naive about the whole concept. The notion that a wrinkled  wealthy man could financially support a young and attractive woman while asking for nothing but her presence in return was not something that set off any alarm bells.

I thought, why wouldn’t a financially stable man support a twenty something year old through college if he has the means to? If he can afford it and she can return the favour by giving him whatever is in the parameters of their sugar arrangement (her ‘presence’) then isn’t it a win for everyone!? How very naive of me indeed….

Thanks to my newly found wisdom of sugar dating and all other relationships that exist in the realm of the sugar world, I am now inclined to think otherwise.

My growing obsession with the dynamics of such a relationship led me to jump into the sugar bowl to dig up on the matter. After having joined SeekingArrangement, an online dating site that aims to link up older and financially stable individuals (usually men that go by the term sugar daddy/SD) with their commonly young and impressionable female counterparts (sugar baby/SB), I can now say that my views regarding sugar daddy and sugar baby relationships have shifted drastically.

It is safe to say that the ‘on your terms’ relationships that a lot of sugar dating websites try to sell are not to be taken at face value – at least not if you’re the SB anyways! Many men who use sugar dating sites are not far off from searching for escort. They use the guise of a ‘structured’ relationship to have young SBs bend to their will. But before we touch on whether or not being a sugar baby is akin to being a sex worker, I think it is important to outline the different types of sugar daddies that exist on these dating sites…..

Here are 10 types of sugar daddies that are likely to be found online 🙂

1. Fake Daddy

Allow me to start with the most obvious of types: fake daddies. These are men (or women) that set up online profiles pretending to have a bank account in the Cayman Island and a yacht somewhere in the south of France. They are the ones who take advantage of the fact that almost anyone can mask as anything once there is a screen in front of them.

2. Wannabe Daddy

This is the type of  SD that warrants a bit of sympathy. In the perfect world, he would have the attention of a hot blonde that is half his age to shower with gifts and treat like royalty. He would give her everything and anything she could ever ask for. The problem is, he can’t afford the lifestyle he wants to have with a SB and the life that he so desperately craves is therefore one that has to be left to his imagination (ergo the sympathy).

3. Salt Daddy

This type of SD is similar to the wannabe daddy in the sense that he can’t afford to be a ‘real’ sugar daddy. What separates the salt daddy from the wannabe daddy however, is that he actively seeks naive women knowing well he has has nothing substantial to offer. He uses trickery and manipulation to get his way with sugar babies and when it’s time for this salt papi to holdup his end of the agreement, he is nowhere to be found!

4. The Married but Looking Daddy

The married but looking daddy is probably the most common type of SD that exists in the sugar world. Some require discretion and secrecy from their SB while others claim that their partner is aware of their wandering eye. Regardless of the situation, the thought of this type of SD wanting a sugar baby can be deeply disturbing when his sugar baby’s age matches that of his daughter.

5. Submissive Daddy 

This is the type of daddy who gets off on taking on a not-so-daddy role. Not only does he derive sexual pleasure from having dominant women abuse his wallet, but it is a prerequisite that she humiliates him in the process. He thrives off anything from getting his marching orders from a powerful woman after she’s drained him of all his cash at an ‘ATM meet,’ to fulfilling various embarrassing tasks that she demands of him afterwards.

6. Peter Pan Daddy

The Peter Pan daddy is one who simply  just enjoys the company of a young and attractive woman.Having younger company brings out a side of him that he refuses to let go of. If she happens to  need mentorship or a bit of financial support, he would give a helping hand. But only if he can.

7. Pimp Daddy 

On the flip side, we have the pimp daddy. This is the SD who treats sugar dating sites like it’s for finding escorts. He has a sense of entitlement and when he makes demands, he expects them to be met. The pimp daddy claims to be firmly against using professional escorts, yet he speaks to his sugar babies like they are ladies of the night.

8. Online Daddy

This type of daddy has no intention of pursing an arrangement outside the virtual world. He is the type of SD that either lives overseas or travels quite regularly. He can give a good talk about meeting up and discussing a mutually beneficial arrangement, but the reality of it is that he quite enjoys the online chats and texts.

9. The Mammy and Daddy, ‘Daddy’

Although not as common as some of the others, the mammy and daddy type of profiles seek a younger SB to help spruce things up in the bedroom. They may be swingers or they may simply be two people who feel that they’re about a decade deep into the relationship. This type of SD profile just wants to spice things up before kids are factored into their relationship.

10. Dream Daddy

This type of daddy has the means to provide financial, mental and emotional support to a potential sugar baby. Although he has a busy schedule, the dream daddy never fails to hold up his end of the arrangement when he has one. Since he  doesn’t ask for anything sexual in return for his generosity, one would question whether or not he has a functioning libido. Any SB who lands one of these has basically hit the jackpot!!

While it is clear from this list that there isn’t just one type of SD that exists, I do get the impression that the majority of sugar relationships run on secrecy, lies, sex and money. After weeks of interrogating active users of sugar dating sites and attempting to discover the motivations behind why people use them, I am starting to think that the standard SD/SB arrangement is adjacent to sex work (when there is intimacy involved, that is).

In a way, I also feel like the dynamics of the average sugar relationship brings women decades back to when they were forced to stay at home and depend on their partners for financial support. But above all else, this new discovery makes me wonder whether or not women inherently seek out men who can provide them with financial security.

The growing popularity of sugar arrangements and the use of sugar dating sites begs the question of whether or not men and women really are biologically hardwired to think and behave differently when it comes to matters of dating, whether it is part of a woman’s genetic makeup to look for security in a man and whether men are biologically geared towards mainly wanting………… do I really need to say it? 🙂

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My top 10 most-watched YouTube videos

youtube

With today being both #TBT and the first of February, I’ve decided to compile a list of my most popular YouTube videos to date. Since my YouTube channel is still relatively new, I always experience a feeling of accomplishment whenever people like, comment or subscribe to my channel – see what I just did there!?

I have clearly adapted the universal language of all YouTubers at this stage, so much so that one may even go so far to call me a YouTuber.  However, I still struggle to classify myself as a YouYuber since creating video content is still secondary to me.

As much as I enjoy making videos, writing will always be a priority. I make YouTube videos whenever I get the chance and I try not to pressure myself into creating one when I can’t. So with that said, here are my top ten most-watched YouTube videos to date 🙂

10. #Storytime: having sex with a lace wig

9. First date jitters

8. Single at 27

7. Get to know me!

6. My most embarrassing first date moment

5. I don’t hate Irish men (RESPONSE VIDEO)

4. One month on Herbalife

3. Why I’m single

2. 5 types of racist trolls the black Irish meet online

1. 5 things Irish guys should never say to a black girl on Tinder

I hope you get the chance to browse my channel, and if you like my content then don’t forget to subscribe! :*

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Reading funny/racist YouTube comments

vlog

This time last year, I shared my first ever YouTube video. To commemorate the moment, I’ve decided to read some of the funny and racist comments I recieved in the last year of being a content creator on YouTube.

Hope you have your popcorn ready because you’re in for a ride! 🙂

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Posted on January 18, 2018

5 Primark beauty fragrances worth trying (all under a fiver!!!)

product review

If there is one sure thing that makes me immediately fall in love with a beauty product, it is how much I am captivated by its fragrance. Whether it’s a hair serum, a hand lotion or any other product whose primary function is completely unrelated to how it smells, what tends to seal the deal for me is the degree to which the scent of a beauty product blows my breath away – I know, how gullible!

So when I’m looking at the likes of perfumes and body sprays, I can be particularly harsh when placing judgement. This is why I was completely taken a back by some of the fragrances I recently came across in Penneys.

The aroma of some of these Primark fragrances not only take you to heaven, but they also keep you there! I won’t be surprised if you stock up on most – if not all – of these little gems after you’ve had a whiff of them! 🙂

1. Bombshell

Primark beauty fragrance, bombshell, €2.50, 20ml

Primark Beauty Fragrance, Bombshell, €2.50, 20ml

Bombshell oozes of femininity with its fruity notes. It is strong, but not overpowering. Sweet, but not weak – in other words, it smells exactly how it sounds! This bombshell perfume ranks up quite high in my list of favourites as it is currently my go-to scent for everyday wear.

  • Longevity: 3 – 4 hours
  • Price: €2.50
  • Rating: 5/5

2. Glamorous

Primark Beauty Fragrance, Glamorous, €2.50, 20ml

Primark Beauty Fragrance, Glamorous, €2.50, 20ml

Another highly feminine fragrance for your inner diva, Glamorous has a sensationally deep tone that is sweet and seductive. Due to the strong notes in this fragrance, it makes for a great evening perfume.  Not to mention the 20ml bottle makes it a great addition to your beauty bag must haves on your night out! 🙂

  • Longevity: 3 – 4 hours
  • Price: €2.50
  • Rating: 5/5

3. Amelie

Primark Beauty Fragrance, Amelie, €3.50, 150ml

Primark Beauty Fragrance, Amelie, €3.50, 150ml

The sensual floral notes of this body mist would take anyone’s breath away! It combines floral notes with wild fruit and a dash of vanilla. The warm captivating scent of this spray works for day wear and night wear – it is my ultimate fave right now, I always get compliments when I use it. Also, can we take a moment to admire the cute packaging?

  • Longevity: 3 – 4 hours
  • Price: €3.50
  • Rating: 1000% yes!!!!

4. PS… Sleep in Beauty Pillow & Body Spray

PS... Sleep in Beauty Pillow & Body Spray

PS… Sleep in Beauty Pillow & Body Spray

This body mist is slightly different from the others as it also serves as a pillow spray. The chamomile extracts in this spray has relaxing and soothing properties that will help put you in a relaxed mood almost instantly. One spritz of this will have a spa-like effect on the mind, body and soul.

  • Longevity: 1 – 2 hours
  • Price: €2.50
  • Rating: 4/5

5. PS… Love Your Selfie Body Mist

The candy-like undertone of this body mist smells so sweet, you could almost eat it! One whiff of this guy will undoubtedly bring you back to memory lane (a.k.a teen years). This body mist is fresh and light, making it ideal to wear on brighter days. It will make for the perfect holiday spray in the next coming months – or good to have on days you feel like reminiscing! 🙂

  • Longevity: 1 – 2 hours
  • Price: €2.50
  • Rating: 3.8/5

Have you tried any of these sprays? I would love to hear from you if you have! Feel free to tweet me @FilomenaKaguako 🙂

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