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Posted on March 28, 2017

50 shades of kinky vs 50 shades of gay: the results are in!!!

Uncovered

pegging meme

About a week ago, I made my second appearance on the Chris & Ciara show. In preparation for the segment, I bombarded my Facebook friends with a survey that I created called 50 shades of kinky VS fifty shades of gay.

Disclaimer: less judging and more reading please? Thank you!

The survey was inspired by my most recent YouTube video at the time, where I spoke about a conversation I had with a good friend of mine about pegging and whether we thought it was a homosexual act or not.

pegging deff

I questioned young men and women between the ages of 18 – 34 hoping to get the general consensus on whether or not a woman penetrating a man anally using a strap-on was deemed a homosexual act.

I’m sure it won’t come as a surprise to some of you that there was a handful of people who wanted zero part of it! They were under the impression that strap-on wearing was a hobby and they’ve now labelled me as a pegging fiend – quite the achievement for someone who’s never owned a toy!

But for those who did partake – thank you!  I got some amount of giggles out of it. Your answers were short, honest and to the point!

So without further ado, here are the final results… it’s time to let the people speak! :)

Q. 1 What is your gender?

  • 72% Female
  • 28% Male

Q.2 What is your age?

  • 25% between 18 – 24
  • 64% between 25 – 34
  • 11% between 35 – 44

Q.3 What is your sexual orientation?

  • 88% Heterosexual
  • 2% Homosexual
  • 9% Bisexual
  • 1% Other

Q. 4 Please describe your race

  • 25% Black
  • 70% White
  • 5% Other

Q.5 In your opinion have erotic practices and role play become more mainstream since the launch of 50 Shades of Grey?

  • 43% Yes
  • 22% No
  • 35% Not Sure

Q. 6 Would you consider engaging in erotic sexual activity such as the use of sex toys in the bedroom?

  •  70% Yes
  •  2% No
  •  26% Maybe
  • 2% Never

Q. 7 “If a straight man wants a strap-on to be used on him, he is a closeted gay or has homosexual tendencies?” True/False?

  •  45% True
  •  55% False

Q. 8 “If a straight woman uses a strap on dildo on a man she is a closeted gay or has homosexual tendencies?” True/False?

  • 18% True
  • 82% False

Q. 9 What are your thoughts on women using a strap-on dildo on a straight man?

In one word it’s dominating

Emasculating

It’s just wrong!

And on the flip side…..

Nothing wrong with it if both parties are consenting

If he likes it each to their own, although it would make me question him a little

I’d try anything once. No harm if he’s keen for it. Why not give it a shot. Would be fund to see what it feels like to be the one with a penis for once too

I wouldn’t assume he was gay. But I would bring the question up just in case. I don’t view men that enjoy anal penetration as gay, I just think it’s a sexual act they enjoy!

As these answers (along with the others) would suggest, the participants were divided in their opinion.

However, when asked whether a straight man who wanted a strap-on to be used on him was a closeted gay or had homosexual tendencies, 55% said no – more than half of the people who took this survey did not consider pegging a homosexual act!

Have we as a society become more progressive in our views regarding sexuality, or would the survey have generated different results had more men taken part?

Afterall, 72% who took this survey were female and only 28% were male…..I guess that’s something to think about!

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Hope you enjoyed this post and don’t forget to watch my YouTube video on this topic! For those of you who missed the segment on Chris & Ciara (Tuesday 21st March), you should be able to find it on the RTE Radio Player!

Happy pegging guys and gals! :)

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Posted on March 23, 2017

Interview!!!! STELLAR magazine + born again virginity!?

vlog

If you’ve managed to get your hands on the April issue of STELLAR, then you will notice that I recently did an interview with them that was all about born again virginity!

In this video I talk a little bit about my first STELLAR feature last May – an incredibly personal account of my celibacy journey – and I also give you a sneak peek of what’s to expect in my most recent interview!

Hope you guys like it, and don’t forget to buy a copy of the magazine! :)

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Posted on March 2, 2017

#BFitBFree with Claire McGrath & BFree Oaty Loaf

fitness/ Health

Bfree Oafy Loaf

A nutritious and delicious alternative to porridge

Yesterday morning, was like no other Wednesday morning. Myself and a small group of health conscious bloggers got into our best #FitFam gear and made our way to the super spacious and creative Iconic Offices, for an intense yoga session with fitness expert Claire McGrath to celebrate the exclusive launch of the new BFree Oaty Loaf.

BFree6

The WFF Fitness PRO started us off with a few breathing exercise. She then went on to speak about the power of the mind and how we can hold ourselves back by having negative thoughts. Similarly, surrounding ourselves with positivity and good vibes can have a positive impact on our lives – these are some of the main premises of yoga.

bfreebfit

After regulating our breathing and injecting positive energy into the room, we did a combination of various yoga movements such as the downward dog, the halfway lift and an arm balance pose that I likely would have never attempted to do previously due to not having the strongest core or upper body strength. Thankfully, Claire was incredibly helpful and patient with us all as she guided us one-by-one with poses that required a little more effort –  no paramedics were called, phew! Following our workout, we went on to the next room to get a taste of the new BFree Oaty Loaf.

BfreeBfit

I’m already a massive fan of the BFree wraps so to avoid sounding biased about the new Oaty Loaf, I will say this: it tastes very much like traditional soda bread except it is free from yeast, gluten, wheat, nut and soy! This means if you have any food intolerances (like myself) or if you simply want to healthify your life, then you can enjoy this oaty loaf without compromising on taste! First impressions? Not only is it light & fluffy, but it didn’t leave a bloated feeling in the tummy after consumption as most other breads have done for me in the past.

BfreeBfit

Made with certified gluten free oats, the bread is the perfect morning alternative to porridge. Every two slices of Oaty Loaf provides you with the same amount of oats as 1 bowl (40g) of porridge and is high in fibre with no added sugar making BFree Oaty Loaf a nutritious and delicious breakfast for the whole family

BfreeBFit

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The BFree Oaty Loaf will be available from Dunnes Stores nationwide from March 6th, Supervalu from the end of March and in Tesco nationwide from April 3rd  for the price of €3.49 :)

A massive thank you to Claire McGrath, Revolve, BFree, Iconic Buildings and everyone who contributed to the success of yesterday’s launch!

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Posted on February 21, 2017

6 RIDICULOUS stereotypes during my year of celibacy

Dating

For my fourth vlog, I decided to share with you guys some of the funny stereotypes I got from people during my year of celibacy. From being accused of wanting to ‘tighten things up’ to being branded as a man-hating feminist. I pretty much got both  – if not every – end of the stick!

But as I always say, it’s better to laugh it off than to cry. So I took it all to my stride. Hope you guys find some of these small-minded views as amusing as I did! Enjoy :)

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Posted on February 15, 2017

RTÉ’s 2FM presenters Chris and Ciara on the 5 things Irish guys should never say to black girls on Tinder

Uncovered

chris and ciara

Photo Credit

I think it’s safe to say that yesterday was by far one of the best Valentine’s Day I’ve had in a very long time. Without getting into the details of what I did during the day *wink* *wink* last night in particular, I truly did step outside of my comfort zone – I had my first threesome.

DISCLAIMER: please get your mind out of the gutter!!!

Because by threesome, I mean I made a guest appearance on the Chris and Ciara show. Myself and RTÉ’s incredible duo spoke all things Tinder, stereotypes, fetishism and….. there may have been a few mentions of rosey nipples!

I gave them the low-down of some of the things that I think Irish guys should never say to black girls on Tinder!

It’s only after dawning on me that I find black girls attractive and I’d love to have a baby with a black girl

You think that’s bad? Believe you me, it gets worse!

If you missed last night’s segment, then worry not because you can still find it online or by downloading the RTÉ radio player. I’m not on until 1h15 but I would recommend listening to the whole show as it is an Anti-Valentine’s Day theme so it’s full of banter you likely wouldn’t find anywhere else!

rte 1rte 11

And for those of you who did tune in and send me messages and tweets, I can’t thank you enough! I had a fantastic time on the show. If I could do it again, I would! Although I may have slightly hyperventilated after it. But hey, I lived to tell the tale, didn’t I!? :)

I hope you have an amazing week and do keep an eye on my new YouTube channel as I plan to talk about some of the funny stereotypes I got during my year of celibacy – gotta love the stereotypes! ;)

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Chris and Ciara is on weekdays Sunday – Thurs on 2fm from 10PM – midnight

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Posted on February 8, 2017

My travel beauty essentials!!!

Beauty

tbe 2

By no stretch of the imagination would I consider myself a travel junkie. However, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to jetting off a good few times over the last couple of months.  I recently went on three different holidays in the space of four months – I know, crazy! And although my bank account hasn’t been very forgiving. I have to say, I’ve been learning how to embrace the meaning of ‘travel light!’

While my travel destination normally determines which beauty products I decide to seal into my little plastic bag. The one thing I noticed about my last few holidays is that there were three products in particular that made a reoccurring appearance in handbag.Now,I feel obliged to pop these little gems at the top of my travel beauty essentials list!

Declare Cleansing Powder*200ml, €24.40, Meagherspharmacy.ie

june faves cleansing pwder

After using this product for the first time, I wondered why more brands didn’t use a similar formula for their cleansers. Not only does this cleansing powder save you from worrying about any leakages. But it also gives you more room to put other liquids into your plastic  bag! Between roll-on deodorants, sprays and perfumes, things can get a little crammed! I have a travel size cleanser at home so it makes it even handier for me. But even putting a small amount of this powder into a plastic travel container and straight into your handbag can make the world of a difference! To read more about this product, have a look at my June favourites post.

M accessories Loofah/Hemp face mitt (Bath set €1.50), Dealz       

IMG_0125

While I do enjoy pampering myself with my Clarisonic. Sometimes I think it’s just best to go back to basic skin care! These loofah/hemp mitts are incredibly gentle on the skin and they each do an absolute stellar job at removing dry and flaky skin insofar that I would sometimes use a wet mitt alone to clean my face  – it leaves my skin with a smooth texture even when I just use water! This set comes with a large bath glove and then two smaller mitts that have a strap at the back.  The natural fibres of these mitts makes it a perfect breeding ground for lurking bacteria. So it is important to replace your sponge every three weeks. At €1.50 a set, it’s impossible to break the bank!

Sonic Chic Lady Lace Toothbrush* (Gift Set RRP€39.95), Pharmacies Nationwide

IMG_0129

I’ve had an obsession with having pearly for as long as I can remember. I just think that there’s something about a good set of teeth that helps brighten up the face! So if you’re an obsessive like myself. Or if you’re someone who is constantly on the go, then having one of these would come in handy! In this set you get a cute little toiletry bag, 1 AAA battery, and 5 replacement heads – which I thought was more than just a little bit generous! While I’m no expert in the technology behind this product, I do know that SONIC Chic vibrates at 22,000 strokes per minutes meaning it would probably reduce your job by more than half! It’s a great size and I love the little protective cap ! While this design is a limited edition, you can still get the full set for half price (€19.95) in selected online stores!

I hope you enjoyed my post, and if you have any golden travel products, I would love to know what they are! Tweet me anytime @FilomenaKaguako :)

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(*)These products were gifted to me by a PR company, however all views and opinions are my own.

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Posted on February 1, 2017

10 commandments for perfecting your lip game

lips/ Makeup

mac lip stick collection

Is it just me or does anyone else think that having a strong red lipstick game is a prerequisite for a successful February? Well if it is just me, then let me try and convert you…..

I honestly think there’s nothing worse than seeing someone desperately fail at trying to pull off Monroe’s infamous red lip. Dried out and cracked up lips don’t look pretty under any lip shade, never mind red – that one colour that is particularly unforgiving to such beauty sins.

Because this is a judgment free zone and a place where we can share all our beauty secrets, here are 10 golden rules that will help you a achieve a perfect pout: read them, recite them, cherish them and then pass them on to your fellow mates so that they can do the same :)

1. Be sure to exfoliate your lips before applying your lip product. This will help get rid of any dead skin lying on the surface of your lips.

2. Before lipstick comes lip balm. Not only does it make your lipstick apply more smoothly (especially with matte textures) it will also keep your lips soft and moisturised.

3. Remember to line your lips and then fill them in. This will help the colour stay on longer.

4. Lining your lips gives them more definition. Be sure to sharpen your lip pencil to get the most out of this rule.

keep calm wear lipstick

5. Apply your lippy with a lip brush to let the colour really get into your lips. Again, this is another way to prolong the lip colour.

6. For a non-surgical lip augmentation- because not all of us can have Kylie’s lips – simply apply a bit of highlighter to your cupids bow.

7. To avoid getting lipstick on your teeth, poke a (clean) finger into your mouth. I know, it sounds rather disgusting, but it works all the time.

8. Use a cotton bud to clean up around the edges of your lips and then follow up with some concealer. This will give your overall look a clean finish.

9. Finish up with translucent powder to prevent the lipstick from bleeding and to help the colour stay put.

10. Remember, a strong lip game speaks volumes! :)

too faced selfie

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Posted on January 31, 2017

#Vlog: My most EMBARRASSING first date moment!!!

vlog/ youtube

If you follow my antics on social media, then it’s no news to you when I say that I’ve finally decided to take the plunge with YouTube and start my own channel!

Starting my own YouTube is something I’ve been thinking about doing for the longest of time, but I’ve just never found it in me to just…..start.

Well here I am. Finally ignoring that little voice in the back of my head telling me that I wasn’t not good enough! I really hope you enjoy this story. It’s about that time I made a complete show of myself on a first date (as you do!)

So sit back, relax and get ready to judge me :)

If you don’t want to miss any of my next videos, then be sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel @FilomenaKaguako :)

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Posted on January 16, 2017

New year, new……. dude? 10 tips for having sex with a new partner

relationships/ Tips

new year new dude

It’s mid-January.  So that means the majority of you are either trying to convince yourself that this is the year you will finally commit to the New Year’s resolutions you set for yourself nearly half a decade ago, or you’ve already succumb to the defeatist attitude by deciding your New Year’s resolutions were never really that achievable to begin with- people are so predictable *insert eye roll emoji*

As you can probably tell, I’ve never really been much of a believer in New Year’s resolutions. So my first blog post of 2017 is not going to be about the goals I’ve set myself this year. Instead, it is going to be about something both you and I have experienced in the past, and if there isn’t a ring on your finger, then the chances are you will relive this exciting and sometimes scary moment again – sex with a new person.

No matter what way you slice it, first-time sexual encounters are nearly always awkward. Even the most body confident person in the world would feel a little bit timid about showing off their goods to a new person.

The last time I exposed my sexual self to somebody new, I was as nervous as anybody else who’s put their sex life on the back burner for a year would be. So I’m far from an expert in this. But as the saying goes, sometimes you gotta fake it until you make it – and I don’t mean literally here! :)

1. Bring a rubber….or two

Without sounding like you mother here, always, always, always use protection. Using a rubber is an absolute must when it comes to having sex with a new person. If both parties know that sex is on the cards, then there really is no reason to not bring one – that goes for both of you!

2. Dress to impress

The right underwear will give you that extra bit of confidence and help you get your senses going. If you have a special go-to lingerie set that never fails to impress, then it’s time to dig that out of your sexrobe. As well as boosting your confidence, a good set will blow his mind. Either go hard or go home – no pun intended.

3. Don’t overload on alcohol

It’s always a good idea to take the edge off a bit with a glass of vino. But don’t go downing a full bottle of wine or anything like that. After all, you do want to remember your first time together. Just drink enough to help you relax and not worry about why you didn’t start working out eight months ago.

4. Easy tiger

There’s no point in diving into things right away. Take your time in exploring each other’s needs and wants. The build up of sex and discovering each other’s preferences is part of what makes it so enjoyable and fun.

5. Trim the hedge

I know this comes down to personal preferences, but I think we can all agree that having a presentable lady garden the first time you have sex with someone increases your chances of being asked out again – JOKE! But in all honesty, tidying up gives you one less thing to worry about on the night.

new year new dude 2

6. Technical issues

Contrary to the popular belief that all men are dogs who spend every waking moment trying to cover their raging boner, it is not uncommon for their manhood to misbehave and erm… not stay up. There are a number of reasons for why this can happen, just try not to take it personally. Instead offer a back massage or something to help you both relax.

7. Use your words

If there is something your new guy is doing that you don’t particularly like, communicate it. Likewise, if there is something you really like then make that known. Communication is key when it comes to enjoying sex with a new partner. Once you’ve both communicated your desires you’ll get the most out of the moment.

8. It’s not a rodeo

As much as you might be tempted to show off your skills to wow him, try to hold off until you get a little bit more comfortable with one another. Consider the first time as a preview of what’s to come – the kinky mask fetishes and sadistic fantasies can wait. Not only does it give you both something to look forward to, but it also leaves a sense of mystery too.

9. The let down

Sometimes, just sometimes, the build up to sex during the talking stages of a new relationship is actually better than the real thing. So don’t be disappointed if the sex is not exactly how you envisioned it to be. At the end of the day, no two sexual encounters are ever the same. It all comes down to getting familiar with each other’s bodies. Practice makes perfect!

10. Enjoy it

Just try to relax and enjoy the moment!  Remember, you’ve done this before, the only thing that’s different here is the person you’re doing it with – at the end of the day, there are only so many ways you can ride a bike! :)

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Posted on December 18, 2016

Smart shoe shopping tips for the party season!

shoes/ Tips

shoe-shopping

With Christmas and NY around the corner, the search for the perfect party gear is at a peak. I may not be stylist, but if there’s one thing I know when it comes to party wear, it’s shoes. I’ve spent the last two years working in the footwear retail industry, and although that may not seem like a long time to most people, I think it’s a long enough time for me to say that I’ve pretty much seen it all!

From customers taking off their socks to show me their bunions to witnessing the depths that some women would go through to avoid having to try on a bigger size – apparently it is the death of all sins in the shoe kingdom.

At this stage, I think it’s pretty safe to say that I’m qualified enough to share these five shoe shopping tips with you!

Tip #1 Timing is everything

Some people say that mornings are the best time to go shoe shopping. I personally think that you’re better off going in the middle of the day once you have been on your feet for a few hours and there’s been blood circulating throughout your body. Your feet are smallest in the morning and usually swell throughout the day so if you  shoe shop in the am you may find yourself buying shoes that are too small because there will be little to no give in them once you’re ready to show them off on the dance floor!

Tip #2 One style does not fit all

Know your feet and go for shoes that suit them. It breaks my heart to see a beautiful pair of shoes  worn on the wrong person! If you have wide feet then do not get shoes that are very pointed or have a narrow shape. Likewise if your feet are slim, then stay away from anything that is chunky or heavy looking!  Like clothes, certain styles of shoes will not suit everyone so if the style doesn’t look right on you – even if it is trending on Instagram – forget it!

Tip #3 Different brands use the different sizing

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I have had many customers refuse to try on a certain shoe size because they were adamant about wearing a perfect five or six or whatever it may be. Never assume you’ll only ever be one size because not all brands use the same sizing. Unless you’re familiar with a certain brand, be sure to try on more than one size before buying. More often than not, the shape of a shoe can impact whether or not you need to go up or down from your usual size!

Tip #4 Choose wisely

There is no point in spending half of your wage on a pair of glitzy Red Carpet looking shoes that you’re going to wear on NYE and then end up throwing into the back of your shoerobe only to forget about its existence! If you’re going to spend a lot of money on shoes – particularly high heels, then be sure to get a pair that you can wear on more than just one occasion. You might as well invest in something you will get a good wear out of!

Tip #5 Don’t underestimate the value of insoles

 If you find yourself slipping ever so slightly in shoes when you first try them on, then an insole can do absolute wonders. I find foam insoles particularly good for this and as well as making shoes a better fit, they also add to the overall comfort. You can get different types of insoles depending on your requirements as there are so many available in the market – gel insoles, leather insoles and even custom made arch support insoles – listen to your feet, they will thank you in the long run!

And for good measure…

If you can’t walk in them, don’t buy them – there’s nothing worse than a woman who can’t walk in heels!

Happy shoe shopping gals :)

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Walk of shame or stride of pride? how these 10 men define the word ‘slut’

Uncovered

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SLUT. WHORE. TRAMP. SLAG.

These are cheap digs women have used to tear each other down, often in an attempt to make themselves feel more valuable. These are words that boys have unfairly labelled girls after being rejected by a pursued love interest. The insult ‘slut’ and other variations of its kind, is quite possibly one the lowest forms of degradation for a woman – and not so much for a man. But why is that?

That is because men have always embraced going out on the pull and having as many one night stands as they please with little judgement. It has always been a badge of honour for a man to say he has scored a high number of sexual partners. While there has been significant progess in the feminist movement, the question as to whether or not women can do the same will always be up for debate.

Some would argue that women are not biologically built to have multiple sexual partner because of the emotional attachment that comes with sharing such an intimate moment with someone. Personally, I’ve always believed in consistent sex with one partner, so monogamy is a topic I will be touching on another time. But today, I want to dig deep into something I’ve been trying to define for a very long time now: What makes someone a slut? how exactly can does one define what or who a slut is?

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I am obsessed with this subject matter. I am both baffled and fascinated by how such a broad term has evolved to something that demeans women for being their sexual selves. What is equallying intriguing is how acceptable it is for women to playfully call each other sluts, yet when a man uses it in the same playful tone, he becomes the mysoginist.

I’ll be the first to admit the the word ‘hoe’ is a regular part of my vocabulary. It is not something I am proud of and I should probably work on it. But it is a word that myself and my close friends would often use to tease each other about our sexual adventures. We use the word so regularly and with so little thought that we have forgotten the connotations that come with the word.

So once again, I ask: what is a slut? Is a slut someone who doesn’t believe in sexual limitations? Is it someone who dresses provocatively?  Is it even about promiscuity at all? What is it and what constitutes of ‘slutty’ behaviour?

I’ve asked men of different ages and backgrounds to define the word ‘slut’ in their own words, these are some of their answers:

Someone who sleeps with anyone and everyone –  anonymous male age 31

A guy or girl who has sex with lots of randomers without protection is pretty slutty. Turns sex into something disposable – anonymous male age 27

People who are only attracted to people because of money, status and looks – anonymous male, age 27

Someone having sex often to boost her disastrously low self-esteem – anonymous male, age 34

A girl who has about three or four lads on the go every week – anonymous male, age 28

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And then we have some liberals….

I’ve never really thought of it. I don’t ever consider people to be sluts, I guess if someone were to sleep with your friend, then that’s a slut – anonymous male, age 28

I’ve never considered a girl or woman to be a slut. A slut is someone who is usually misjudged, having been extra indulgent in sex as a means of satisfying or reaching a misplaced search within. To be a slut takes a kind of courage, but also it lacks another form on courage masks are mostly worn. Take ‘em off & you’ll realise everyone is a slut of some type. Sexual sluts, money sluts, control sluts, power sluts, food sluts, attention sluts – anonymous male, age 28

No such thing as a slut. Just unenlightened people – anonymous male, age 32

Everyone is free to sleep around. I don’t judge people who sleep around, but I do judge them if they do it in a wreckless manner like not being safe and not getting tested regularly because if they’re being promiscuous and have irregular partners then that is essentially spreading diseases – anonymous male, age 29

I don’t really consider anyone a slut, I’m all in favour of promiscuous behaviour – anonymous male,age 31

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Judging by the mixed responses here, it is fair to say that we have become more progressive as a society when it comes to female sexuality. I for one can hold my hand up to say that my perception of the word slut has changed with both time and age.

For years I’ve always believed that a slut is a woman who pursues a taken man. A woman who goes back and forth between sexual partners. A woman who constantly cheats on her man with little or no remorse. That is how I’ve always defined what I thought a ‘whore’ was.

But now, I think it goes a lot deeper than someone with loose morals. I think using the word in a way to offend or define someone is a skewed and small minded way of looking at things. Unless you use the word to describe a sex worker who gets paid to perform sexual activities, then the concept of “slut” isn’t real.

In my opinion, we will never come to a global agreement as to what or who a slut, a tramp or a whore actually is. There is no universal definition for it and the subjectivity of the word proves it doesn’t exist.

I may not be a slut by my definition, but I could easily be one to someone else. The bottom line is, we’re all sluts to someone out there! Happy hoeing gals! :)

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9 types of people you’ll meet at Starbucks

food/ Lists

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I have a newfound love for Starbucks. And it is not because I have an uncontrollable urge to sip their overpriced coffee every morning. Nor is it because I derive pleasure from taking advantage of free WiFi in a cozy enviornment – okay, maybe the free WiFi plays a bigger part than I’d like to admit. But even with that aside, there is just something about the homely feeling of Starbucks that makes it a breeding ground for my creativity.

I’ve had some of my most productive days in Starbucks. I carry my laptop over my shoulder. Whip it out  of my bottomless bag. Connect to the WiFi… all while sipping on a Teavana tea and devouring a ‘skinny’ blueberry muffin – yes, I’m one of those knob heads who orders tea at a coffee house, problem? I didn’t think so :)

With all the time I’ve spent in Starbucks collectively, I’ve noticed thousands of people rush in and out of the door to get their much needed caffeine fix. My extensive research to date a.k.a my people watching skills and my attention to detail has led me to compile a list of the types of people you’ll likely come across at Starbucks.

Tell me I’m not the only one who is seeing a pattern here?

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1. The foreign exchange crew

They spend hours trying to decipher the menu while holding up the queue behind them. When they finally come to a decision it is usually something as basic as a tall iced cappuccino *eye roll emoji* can we start a petition for picture menus at Starbucks please?

2. The coffee snob

The venti nonfat chai latte with soy milk no foam but an extra shot and cream.This person knows exactly what they want and how to get it. Their complicated order makes you question whether or not you’ve been doing it wrong all this time.

3. The first timer

And then there’s the Starbucks virgin who stares at the menu like it’s in a foreign language. When asked what size preference, the words tall, grande and venti turn him into a deer at headlights. Awh, bless!

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4. The self proclaimed blogger

Attending to the virtual world before the real world is deemed to be more important in the mind of the self proclaimed blogger.This person never lives in the moment. Why? because one does not simply go to Starbucks without documenting it.If you don’t take a picture of your Starbucks, it never happened, period.

5. The getaway hunters

If it’s not their obnoxious kids they need a break from, it’s their overworked husbands. Either way, this group of mothers seem to be under the impression that staying well caffeinated in Starbucks is equal to a weekend away – if it works for you, who am I to judge!

6. The Tinder match

Another awkward first. These two make it blatently obvious that they’re on a first date. Both ordering a basic coffee with no foam to avoid dealing with a milk moustache. Fidgeting and carefully choosing topics of discussion….ugh! Since when did dating  become so hard?

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7. The freeloader

The freelancer who sits with their laptop and work for hours and hours on end. You see them sitting in the same spot, doing the same thing every single time you go in. You start to wonder if they should even start paying rent at this stage.

8. The suited business man

He barely makes eye contact when he makes his order. His inner Kanye leads him to believe that the barista knows exactly what he wants when he says ‘the usual,’ but when asked to be more specific, he huffs and puffs.

9. The college kids

The ones who make you reminisce on the days when a coffee vending machine sufficed for that morning coffee fix. You wonder how they can all afford spending a fiver on coffee nearly everyday. They all have superstars and gazelles on, dead giveaway? Or maybe they live with their parents!

Do you recognise any of these Starbucks stereotypes? If so tweet me @FilomenaKaguako :)

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