Browsing Tag

men

Posted on August 24, 2017

5 reasons he might call you a psycho

Dating

Ladies, if you’ve ever been called a psycho by a man then I’m sure you’ll resonate with my latest YouTube video. I’ve explored some of the reasons why men call women psychos.

I hope you enjoy watching it as much as I enjoyed putting it together for you guys, would love to hear your feedback! 🙂

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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYFNq-AO9y8 Happy Monday everyone! I have a new video up on my YouTube channel about some of the positive responses I got to my open letter. In the midst of all the drama and controversy, I did get a few kind and supportive messages from men and women of all ages and…
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Posted on March 28, 2017

50 shades of kinky vs 50 shades of gay: the results are in!!!

Uncovered

pegging meme

About a week ago, I made my second appearance on the Chris & Ciara show. In preparation for the segment, I bombarded my Facebook friends with a survey that I created called 50 shades of kinky VS fifty shades of gay.

Disclaimer: less judging and more reading please? Thank you!

The survey was inspired by my most recent YouTube video at the time, where I spoke about a conversation I had with a good friend of mine about pegging and whether we thought it was a homosexual act or not.

pegging deff

I questioned young men and women between the ages of 18 – 34 hoping to get the general consensus on whether or not a woman penetrating a man anally using a strap-on was deemed a homosexual act.

I’m sure it won’t come as a surprise to some of you that there was a handful of people who wanted zero part of it! They were under the impression that strap-on wearing was a hobby and they’ve now labelled me as a pegging fiend – quite the achievement for someone who’s never owned a toy!

But for those who did partake – thank you!  I got some amount of giggles out of it. Your answers were short, honest and to the point!

So without further ado, here are the final results… it’s time to let the people speak! 🙂

Q. 1 What is your gender?

  • 72% Female
  • 28% Male

Q.2 What is your age?

  • 25% between 18 – 24
  • 64% between 25 – 34
  • 11% between 35 – 44

Q.3 What is your sexual orientation?

  • 88% Heterosexual
  • 2% Homosexual
  • 9% Bisexual
  • 1% Other

Q. 4 Please describe your race

  • 25% Black
  • 70% White
  • 5% Other

Q.5 In your opinion have erotic practices and role play become more mainstream since the launch of 50 Shades of Grey?

  • 43% Yes
  • 22% No
  • 35% Not Sure

Q. 6 Would you consider engaging in erotic sexual activity such as the use of sex toys in the bedroom?

  •  70% Yes
  •  2% No
  •  26% Maybe
  • 2% Never

Q. 7 “If a straight man wants a strap-on to be used on him, he is a closeted gay or has homosexual tendencies?” True/False?

  •  45% True
  •  55% False

Q. 8 “If a straight woman uses a strap on dildo on a man she is a closeted gay or has homosexual tendencies?” True/False?

  • 18% True
  • 82% False

Q. 9 What are your thoughts on women using a strap-on dildo on a straight man?

In one word it’s dominating

Emasculating

It’s just wrong!

And on the flip side…..

Nothing wrong with it if both parties are consenting

If he likes it each to their own, although it would make me question him a little

I’d try anything once. No harm if he’s keen for it. Why not give it a shot. Would be fund to see what it feels like to be the one with a penis for once too

I wouldn’t assume he was gay. But I would bring the question up just in case. I don’t view men that enjoy anal penetration as gay, I just think it’s a sexual act they enjoy!

As these answers (along with the others) would suggest, the participants were divided in their opinion.

However, when asked whether a straight man who wanted a strap-on to be used on him was a closeted gay or had homosexual tendencies, 55% said no – more than half of the people who took this survey did not consider pegging a homosexual act!

Have we as a society become more progressive in our views regarding sexuality, or would the survey have generated different results had more men taken part?

Afterall, 72% who took this survey were female and only 28% were male…..I guess that’s something to think about!

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Hope you enjoyed this post and don’t forget to watch my YouTube video on this topic! For those of you who missed the segment on Chris & Ciara (Tuesday 21st March), you should be able to find it on the RTE Radio Player!

Happy pegging guys and gals! 🙂

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Posted on November 29, 2016

Walk of shame or stride of pride? how these 10 men define the word ‘slut’

Sexuality/ Uncovered

slut-shaming

SLUT. WHORE. TRAMP. SLAG.

These are cheap digs women have used to tear each other down, often in an attempt to make themselves feel more valuable. These are words that boys have unfairly labelled girls after being rejected by a pursued love interest. The insult ‘slut’ and other variations of its kind, is quite possibly one the lowest forms of degradation for a woman – and not so much for a man. But why is that?

That is because men have always embraced going out on the pull and having as many one night stands as they please with little judgement. It has always been a badge of honour for a man to say he has scored a high number of sexual partners. While there has been significant progess in the feminist movement, the question as to whether or not women can do the same will always be up for debate.

Some would argue that women are not biologically built to have multiple sexual partner because of the emotional attachment that comes with sharing such an intimate moment with someone. Personally, I’ve always believed in consistent sex with one partner, so monogamy is a topic I will be touching on another time. But today, I want to dig deep into something I’ve been trying to define for a very long time now: What makes someone a slut? how exactly can does one define what or who a slut is?

slut-shaming-3

I am obsessed with this subject matter. I am both baffled and fascinated by how such a broad term has evolved to something that demeans women for being their sexual selves. What is equallying intriguing is how acceptable it is for women to playfully call each other sluts, yet when a man uses it in the same playful tone, he becomes the mysoginist.

I’ll be the first to admit the the word ‘hoe’ is a regular part of my vocabulary. It is not something I am proud of and I should probably work on it. But it is a word that myself and my close friends would often use to tease each other about our sexual adventures. We use the word so regularly and with so little thought that we have forgotten the connotations that come with the word.

So once again, I ask: what is a slut? Is a slut someone who doesn’t believe in sexual limitations? Is it someone who dresses provocatively?  Is it even about promiscuity at all? What is it and what constitutes of ‘slutty’ behaviour?

I’ve asked men of different ages and backgrounds to define the word ‘slut’ in their own words, these are some of their answers:

Someone who sleeps with anyone and everyone –  anonymous male age 31

A guy or girl who has sex with lots of randomers without protection is pretty slutty. Turns sex into something disposable – anonymous male age 27

People who are only attracted to people because of money, status and looks – anonymous male, age 27

Someone having sex often to boost her disastrously low self-esteem – anonymous male, age 34

A girl who has about three or four lads on the go every week – anonymous male, age 28

slut-shaming-2

And then the liberal-minded….

I’ve never really thought of it. I don’t ever consider people to be sluts, I guess if someone were to sleep with your friend, then that’s a slut – anonymous male, age 28

I’ve never considered a girl or woman to be a slut. A slut is someone who is usually misjudged, having been extra indulgent in sex as a means of satisfying or reaching a misplaced search within. To be a slut takes a kind of courage, but also it lacks another form on courage masks are mostly worn. Take ‘em off & you’ll realise everyone is a slut of some type. Sexual sluts, money sluts, control sluts, power sluts, food sluts, attention sluts – anonymous male, age 28

No such thing as a slut. Just unenlightened people – anonymous male, age 32

Everyone is free to sleep around. I don’t judge people who sleep around, but I do judge them if they do it in a wreckless manner like not being safe and not getting tested regularly because if they’re being promiscuous and have irregular partners then that is essentially spreading diseases – anonymous male, age 29

I don’t really consider anyone a slut, I’m all in favour of promiscuous behaviour – anonymous male,age 31

slut-shaming-4

Judging by the mixed responses here, it is fair to say that we have become more progressive as a society when it comes to female sexuality. I for one can hold my hand up to say that my perception of the word slut has changed with both time and age.

For years I’ve always believed that a slut is a woman who pursues a taken man. A woman who goes back and forth between sexual partners. A woman who constantly cheats on her man with little or no remorse. That is how I’ve always defined what I thought a ‘whore’ was.

But now, I think it goes a lot deeper than someone with loose morals. I think using the word in a way to offend or define someone is a skewed and small minded way of looking at things. Unless you use the word to describe a sex worker who gets paid to perform sexual activities, then the concept of “slut” isn’t real.

In my opinion, we will never come to a global agreement as to what or who a slut, a tramp or a whore actually is. There is no universal definition for it and the subjectivity of the word proves it doesn’t exist.

I may not be a slut by my definition, but I could easily be one to someone else. The bottom line is, we’re all sluts to someone out there! Happy hoeing gals! 🙂

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slut-shaming-1

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Posted on June 23, 2016

Uncovered: the exception VS the rule

Uncovered

he's just not that into you

He’s Just Not That Into You has always ranked  quite highly on my list of favourite romantic comedies. If I were super religious, I’d treat it as the Holy Bible. I’d recite every single word said by Justin Long’s character (I’ll get into that later) and follow his most valuable advice to bag the man of my dreams.  But because I’m neither religious nor with the ‘perfect’ man, I tend to re-watch it whenever I feel the need to be brought back to reality so that I can ponder on whether or not I am the rule or the exception in modern age dating.

Since it can be near impossible to come to any conclusion of such matters without some advice from those around you, I usually find myself asking my trusted friends and family for their opinion.  Although I don’t always agree with what they say at the start  (when do we ever?) there is something that I was once told which has had an everlasting impression on me.

I was once told that I was raised through Disney, and how Princess Elsa is my alter ego. Initially I found these remarks rather amusing. However, the more I think about it and continue to live my life in the way that I do, the more I’ve started seeing some truth in these seemingly ridiculous comments.

princess complex

I’ve spent my whole life thinking I am an exception. And by exception, I mean extraordinarily special. Of course, I am special, aren’t we all? But just not always as special as our egos would have us believe.  Not always as ‘special’ as the girl who has a one night stand and then ends up in a long term relationship with the person. Not always as ‘special’ as the couple who were each other’s firsts and lasts. These are classic examples of what being ‘special,’ or should I say, ‘the exception,’ really is. They call it the exception because they are uncommon situations. They are outliers in a world where dating apps such as Tinder and POF promote the idea that people are dispensable.

In the film, He’s Just Not That Into You, Justin Long’s character (Alex), has a theory for the rule and the exception. The rule: the predicaments that the majority of people in the dating pool find themselves in. The exception: the not-so-common situation.I like most people, have often been the rule. I’ve dated men who have ‘hit and quit,’ I’ve impatiently waited for a text that never came through and so on and so forth. In these instances, I wasn’t the exception, I was the rule. And if you’re anything like me, then that can be a hard pill to swallow. It’s never an easy fact to accept being the rule when you’ve spent your whole entire life thinking otherwise.

Now although I agree with the foundation on which this theory is based and despite being ‘the rule’ for a good chunk of my dating life. I have to say, I still think it is a tad bit flawed as a theory.

exception

To me, the word ‘either’ is quite limiting. It implies that you can only be one of the two. But judging from the people around me and those who went from ‘being the rule,’ to being the outlier, I’ve come up with my own little theory for single women struggling to find out how ‘special’ they really are: you can be the rule and the exception: it just depends on the man.

I think that women who have spent a large portion of their dating life being the rule, simply haven’t met the man to make them the  exception. As the saying goes, ‘one day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked with anyone else.’

All hope is not lost, and no matter what happens, it never should be because in hindsight, you’re an exception. You’re an exception in a world full of men who are making you believe you’re the rule.

Never forget that princess 🙂

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Posted on April 2, 2016

Uncovered: Body count matters

Sexuality/ Uncovered

body count

There are a few ways I could have written this article. The first, would have been to touch the topic on the surface and conclude that people who worry about body count (the number of sexual partners a person has) are usually from a narrow-minded culture who don’t see women and men as equal and think that a woman should never sleep with more men than she can count on both hands.  Either that or I could have just started with ‘Hi my name is Filomena and my body count is XXXX’ – throw in a few extra X’s for the shock factor  – and then just patiently waited for people who have absolutely no right to comment on how I live my life to pass judgment and make unnecessary remarks.

But see this is the thing, do we as humans ever have the right to define or police a person’s sexuality? No, we don’t, but we do it anyways. We have been brought up in a world where women in particular are deemed to be sluts if they have a high number of sexual partners.  She loses her value as a woman, she is no longer desirable or worthy of love because of course, the number of men she’s given her body to is a reflection of how much respect she has for herself.

But why is it always women? Why do women always get the short end of the stick? I can’t think of a single male who would ever be concerned about his body count. Heck, most of them don’t even know what theirs is! But God forbid a woman ever loses track of how many men she’s slept with – it is the crime of all crimes. You’re a woman. You’re supposed to know how many people you’ve had sex with. You’re supposed to keep your number low because like cars, your value decreases the more you’ve been ‘used.’

What saddens me the most is that certain cultures actually promote men to have multiple mates. They entitle it. And to me, this is where the whole body count craze becomes a gender thing.  They endorse the idea of men having several partners. In fact,men are praised for it because there is nothing degrading or belittling about having more than one partner if you have the ‘privilege’ of being a man. And it is usually the same people who worship men for their promiscuity that regard women with a high body count as whores.

master key

This brings me to another issue.

What exactly is a high body count? What I consider as high is very different to what you may regard as high. The notion ‘high body count’ varies from person to person. There is no global agreement as to what constitutes as a high body count number, so why do some of us hold it with so much significance?

I have a group of female friends who hold body count with remarkably high regard. Who believe that exceeding a certain number of sexual partners is something to be ashamed of.  This way of thinking made me raise all sorts of questions. For starters, is it just an African thing? Have we been conditioned to believe that as women of African descent, we should remain as pure as possible if we wanted to be worthy enough to secure a husband? After all, it is my African friends in particular who are so infatuated by this.

Out of curiosity, I decided to ask a few male friends to get their perspective, and to try to make sense of it all. The men I queried were all of different ages, races, backgrounds and beliefs, and although some of them felt that a woman’s number shouldn’t be looked at in isolation. The majority were of the opinion that a woman’s body count does matter. Some even admitted that they would look at a woman differently if she had what they considered to be a high body count.  I must say, I was genuinely gobsmacked by some of their responses:

“To me personally it’s very important. I look at a woman very differently depending on the number of men she’s slept with and I don’t think the same applies to men. If a woman your age has slept with 15 men or more I consider her to be a bit of a slut” – anonymous male, age 28

“Yea, I do feel it’s important. Many guys would not take a woman seriously if they knew she’s been around. Hence why men like to be with a woman who isn’t very well known,” – anonymous male, age 26

“A key that can open many locks is a master key. But a lock that has been opened by many keys is worthless. Double standard, I’m afraid” – anonymous male, age 33

“Guys behind the scenes they talk about this stuff, particularly if they’re settling down with a girl. If they only want to be with her once, they don’t really care. In fact they nearly like that she’s been with loads of people because they know she’s easy and a sure thing. But for the purpose of taking her home to your parents, that’s a whole different ball game,” – anonymous male, age 33

“If you think about how men and women evolved sexually, you will see that it doesn’t really make sense for a female to be promiscuous. In fact, it can be detrimental,” – anonymous male, age 32

“Does it matter to whom? The individual? or society in general? In case of the individual, no it doesn’t matter. In the case of society, yes it does matter. It matters to men. It is best for a woman not to discuss it at all. No man wants to hear it,” – anonymous male, age 31

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what this says about society as a whole. But instead of concluding that this whole fixation with body count is down to culture and gender alone, I’ve decided to keep the topic open for discussion.

Thoughts?

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Posted on September 14, 2015

5 types of men you’ll meet before your thirties

men/ relationships

5 types of men you will meet before your thirties

A few people have asked me why I stopped writing my relationship articles – if that’s even what you can call them! But to be honest, it isn’t the easiest topic to write about. While I try my best to be as witty and as humorous as I can, some of the experiences I’ve written about are a bit personal. I guess you just have to know me on a deeper level to be able to pinpoint when I am speaking the truth and when I’m just having a laugh (which I do quite a lot).

Anyways, seeing that one of my relationship posts (8 Types of Men You Should Avoid Dating) has been shortlisted in the Blog Awards Ireland, I’ve decided to let my inner Bradshaw shine yet again!

So here’s something fun, light-hearted and maybe, just maybe a bit personal – you just never know with me! 😉

Here are 5 types of men you’ll meet before your thirties:

1. The one you thank for breaking your heart

Nobody likes picking up the pieces after a relationship comes to an end. It can be disappointing and a devastating reminder of what could have been. But the one thing I can say about the pain of heartbreak is that it teaches us valuable life lessons that nothing else ever will. For starters, it teaches us that we can’t always get our hearts desire and that situations are not conducive to what we want. It shows us that emotions are fickle and how we can’t really rely on them to make decisions. Lastly, it teaches us the brutal truth about life: it goes on. No matter how heartbroken you are, people will continue on making their coffee every morning, the bus schedules will continue to run as normal and your neighbours Golden Retriever will continue to howl in the middle of the night – harsh, but true.

the world doesn;tstop

2. The one who changes you

And I’m not talking about the reason behind a drastic hair change here, I’m talking about the one who gives you a whole new perspective on life, love and relationships.  Whether it was from a good experience you had with him or a bad one, he is part of the reason you look at things differently. After a romantic relationship, some people change for the better, while others change for the worse. Hopefully, in your case (and mine), we will always grow and change for the better.

3. The one you’ll look back and laugh at

Remember that one guy you pictured your life with? The one you believed would be the father of your kids until things fell apart. Then, you thought you’d never get over him. Well where is he now? I bet you wouldn’t recognise him in a lineup! There’s always one guy you just can’t think about without having a little chuckle with the girls. They’re usually the ones you envisioned your life with and spent weeks eating cookie dough to get over. Thankfully, we are well past that stage and know that pain is only temporary. What you cry about today you may laugh about in a few years from now!

thank god

4. The one you couldn’t seem to get rid of

This guy claims to be head over heels for you. He tells you that there is no other woman out there quite like you and that all he wants is a chance to prove to you that blah blah blah blah blah…. I’m sure you’ve heard it all before! No matter how many times you tell him that it’s never going to happen, he just persists and persists. These kinda guys are probably good for your ego at the start. But after the ego feed, reality kicks in. They just become an annoyance because they just can’t seem to get the hint.

5. The one you’ll always remember

And then there’s him. The one who holds a special place in your heart. No matter how much you care about him, deep down you know that he isn’t the right person for you. He is the one who makes you feel enlightened about love. Even though it didn’t work out, he makes you want to love again. After him, all you’ll want  is  a meaningful relationship and something long-lasting and worthwhile. He’s the one that will always have a piece of your heart, he’s the one you’ll always remember.

everyone has a robin

Hope you enjoyed my ‘big comeback’ and if you’re new to my blog, be sure to have a read of my previous dating articles!

Also, don’t forget to vote for 8 types of men you should avoid dating in the Best Blog Post category and 7 reasons your diet isn’t working in the best Health & Wellbeing category! Thank you all in advance! 🙂

Click here for vote for Best Blog Post: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/P6PP695

Click here to vote for Best Health & Wellbeing: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/PPBJNMZ

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    I am absolutely thrilled to announce that my blog, Enhance What’s Yours has been Shortlisted in the Blog Awards Ireland 2015, for Best Health & Wellbeing and Best Blog Post. I have no words to explain how grateful I am to even be nominated, let alone shortlisted! I honestly can’t…
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Posted on November 6, 2014

10 things to know before going on a Tinder date

men/ relationships

tinder

In today’s world, waking up to Facebook like it’s a daily newspaper has become the norm. With trendy apps such as Instagram and Snapchat, engaging in social media has becoming increasingly popular and people are using dating sites a lot more now than ever before. So when the mating app Tinder first came out, I wasn’t surprised by how many of my friends were using it.

I’m not going to lie, I did download it myself – but that was only because I was curious to see what all the hype was about (not to mention, I was also in London at the time). I got bored of it fairly quickly and no offense to anyone, but when I got back to Ireland, there was a lot of swiping left – not a lot of talent going on here.

Anyways, anyone who knows me knows I can be pretty paranoid about things like this (and everything else), but do I know a few girls who have happily gone on dates with guys they’ve met on Tinder and while I make no judgment on their decisions, I do feel that there are a few things that need to be considered before agreeing to go on what is widely known as ‘a Tinder date.’

  1. If you don’t know what he actually does with himself, then you might want to wait a while before agreeing to meet up.
  2. Surprises are good, but not in situations like this. Make sure you send a screenshot to a trusted friend, so that they’ll know what he looks like – ‘Girl Goes Missing After Tinder Date With Stranger’ is never a nice headline to see.
  3. Some people go through lengths to set up fake profiles, so it could be anyone behind the screen. It won’t hurt  to let someone know where you’re going – better safe than sorry, right?
  4. You could be talking to the same person as your friend – always a good idea to check in with the girls, you don’t want to end up “falling” for the same guy now, do you?
  5. He could – or should I say – he probably  just wants you for the one night. So make sure you’re both on the same page.
  6. It’s quite likely he isn’t looking for something too serious (otherwise, he wouldn’t be on Tinder).Again, know what you’re getting yourself into.
  7. There’s a 99.9% chance that you aren’t the only person he is talking to or planning to take on a date.
  8. He might not show up at all  – yes, this does happen.
  9. You may attract a stalker (I use the world ‘stalker,’ very loosely here).
  10. Once you delete him from your chat, he’s gone on TINDER forever but it doesn’t stop him from finding you on other social media sites.

Have you ever been on a Tinder date? If so, feel free to share your story below! 🙂

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Posted on October 4, 2014

8 signs it’s all in your head

men/ relationships/ women

signs it is all in your head

I recently spoke to a good friend of mine who was telling me how devastated he was about something that happened between him and his love interest.

While it was quite saddening to listen to, I also thought it was a bit of a relief – let’s face it, men aren’t exactly the best advocates for showing their emotions, so I found it quite comforting to see this happen for a change  (especially for him).

So what went wrong?

In my opinion, he made the classical mistake some women make when they are overwhelmed by the emotions they feel for someone – create something that isn’t really there. That’s right, he was in a dream-lationship (I totally just made that word up!), nonetheless, that’s exactly what was happening.

signs it is all in your head 2

So what are the signs that it’s all in your head? What are the signs that indicate you’ve been creating a relationship that doesn’t really exist and is simply a figure of your imagination?

Since being young and naive subjected me to go through exactly this (I like to think I’ve grown), I don’t find it too hard to pinpoint some of the behaviours and actions of someone who is clearly delusional about what is happening between them and their love interest.

Here are the signs that you need a reality check:

1. He never pops the question
He never mentions anything about going on a date with you, meeting up or simply spending time together. If he wanted to take you out, then you would have known at this stage.

2. You’re the only one starting sentences with ‘I feel’
You have no idea how he ‘feels’ and yet you are under the impression that you’re drawn to one another. You can’t unilaterally decide how he feels without him giving you a speck of a hint! It just doesn’t work like that.

3. You constantly imagine going on dates with him but you never actually GO on them
You see where I’m going with this one?

4. He never really rings you….or texts you…. or contacts you
Basically, he doesn’t show any initiative. You text him first, you Viber him during his lunch break: you are always making the first move – kinda self explanatory don’t you think?

if he wants you

5. You wonder whether or not you’re going to hear from him
If you’re concerned about the next time you’ll be hearing from him then clearly you haven’t established any sort of relationship with him.

6. You’ve never even kissed or been in a situation where it is likely to happen
Does the word friend-zone sound familiar at all?

7. You’re doing all the talking
It always seems like getting words out of him is almost like drawing blood from a stone. Yes, there are shy guys and then there are guys who are just disinterested.

8. You don’t know much about him                  
Again, you shouldn’t have to drag anything out of him. If the feelings were mutual then he would more than likely be talking to you about his interests.

If any of these are just too close to home, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate the situation! Lord knows I had to…..

Feel free to share your thoughts on this, if any and hope you have a great weekend! 🙂

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Posted on September 2, 2014

12 mistakes women make with men

men/ relationships/ women

mistakes women make with men

After giving it plenty of time and consideration, I’ve decided to finally unleash my inner Carrie Bradshaw. She wasn’t exactly an expert when it came to men and frankly, neither am I.

However, I do have some very interesting stories that pretty much go from one extreme to another  – that’s putting it lightly.

Also, after hearing stories from female friends as well as other women, I think it’s fair to say we’ve all made one or two of these mistakes at least once in our lives of being ‘young and naive.’

1. Confusing sex with love
Most of the time, sex is sex – nothing more, nothing less.

2. Getting too attached
Being invited over should never EVER translate to leaving your toothbrush at his – even if you did stay the night.

3. Overanalysing
The thinking: the constant and endless thinking that’s enough to put us in a straight jacket. Maybe, just maybe, the words ‘okay then,’ really just mean ‘okay then’.

12 mistakes women make with men 3

Photo Credit

4. Not making them work for it
Don’t just give it to any Tom, Dick or Harry who comes along, make them work for it – make them earn what they want.

5. Making them work too hard
The opposite applies too. Push them too far off the edge and they just might stay there! I guess the key here is just to find the right balance (let me know when you’ve found it!)

6. Opening up too soon
This pretty much sends them running to the hills. No poems, no love letters, no confessions – just don’t do it.

7. Putting them up on a pedestal
No good can ever come of putting your man, lover or crush up on a pedestal.

8. Emasculating them
I’m all for girl power and the whole women rule the world jazz, but let’s be honest; men like to set the pace. Sometimes, leaving the ball in their court will show you whether or not he’s really interested.

12 mistakes women make with men 2

Photo Credit

9. Expecting them to change
Change comes from within so don’t hold your breath if you think he’s going to give up one of his ‘bad habits’ before he’s ready. We think they’re going to change and they think we won’t – what a beautiful world we live in!

10. Becoming someone else
Women who change themselves for men are only setting themselves out for disappointment. Especially since the truth always comes out in the end.

11. Being too available
Nobody wants an eager beaver; it’s never a good look either on a woman or a man for that matter.

12. Expecting too much
At this stage, I’ve realised that sometimes it’s better to just count the blessings that are already there than to complain about the things that aren’t!

So there you have it, 12 mistakes women make with men straight from the horses mouth ( I kid!) but I can’t say I’m not guilty here! Feel free to share any thoughts you might have down below 🙂

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Posted on May 19, 2013

Not so guilty pleasure: Dark Chocolate

Guilty Pleasures/ Nutrition

not so guilty pleasure

I never thought I’d ever see the day I’d praise something that I don’t even enjoy eating! It’s not very like me to recommend the things I don’t like, but I guess I’d have to be fair once and a while so my promise to you is that I will not impose any of my personal feelings towards dark chocolate in this post (not intentionally anyways), instead, I will just give you cold hard facts on the benefits of consuming dark chocolate!

Just so we’re on the same page, I must say that if you really want to enjoy the health benefits of dark chocolate then you would have to be looking at the ones that contain over 70% cacao; the darker the chocolate, the less sugar and milk it contains and the closer it is to cacao, the secret behind it’s health benefits.

Cacao is probably one of the main sources of health benefits from the consumption of dark chocolate. The reason being that it produces neurotransmitters in the brain such as dopamine and serotonin which are associated with feelings of well-being and happiness…..

Do you see where I’m going with this???

It’s a natural anti-depressant! So don’t be afraid to indulge yourself with a bit of 70%+ if you’re feeling kinda down!

Alright so now you’re thinking, ”it might help me with my mood and I wouldn’t feel as down if I take a few squares of it, but what about the fat? Isn’t it as fattening as all the other chocolates out there???” I’m afraid not!! The fat that is in dark chocolate comes primarily from plants so it would be a lot healthier for you. It contains the fatty acid that is also found in olive oil and this promotes antioxidant activity and also prevents heart disease. So as long as you look for a dairy-free bar (which would contain more of the bad fat),  I can assure you that you have nothing to worry about if you’re taking these in small doses!

What about the beauty benefits?

Dark chocolate contains an antioxidant called flavinoid which are usually found in plants such as the cacao plant. These bad boys are associated with the anti-aging effects in the skin and the flavinoid found  in dark chocolate are greater than the antioxidants found in some berries. So if you’re feeling guilty about passing on the fruit salad the other day, you can forgive yourself!

Lastly, these flavinoids also absorb UV light which helps protect your beautiful skin from the sun. It also increases blood flow to the skin which improves your complexion and keeps your skin well hydrated.

Now that you know that dark chocolate isn’t all that bad, you no longer have to make this a secret pleasure. Just remember, the more bitter the chocolate, the higher the cacao content and the better it is for you! 🙂

If you’re not convinced, here’s a few more articles that you can read:

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/benefits-of-chocolate

http://www.rd.com/health/healthy-eating/3-health-benefits-of-dark-chocolate/

http://www.naturalnews.com/031959_dark_chocolate_antioxidants.html

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Posted on May 1, 2013

Guilty pleasure #1: Caffeine

Appearance/ Guilty Pleasures/ Nutrition

Something tells me that there’s a few coffee worshipers out there who are now dreading to read the rest of this post. Not to worry, I’ll keep this as short as I can (which isn’t always easy for me to do, but I’ll try my best!)

We all know the list of foods/drinks which contain this addictive drug(yes it’s a drug,don’t look so surprised!). The list is endless really, to name a few, coffee, energy drinks and chocolate would be the most common sources of caffeine. Since my new respect for chocolate has motivated me to write a POSITIVE  ”guilty pleasure” post on it, I’ll leave chocolate out (For the most part anyways) and instead, I’ll focus on the other two (bare in mind that I’m a recovering coffee addict so there’s no judging here….)

Now, I can go on and on about how the consumption of coffee and energy drinks increase health problems for both male and female, how they increases blood pressure which leads to heart problems or how they both contribute to blood sugar problems. But that really isn’t my focus. (And I’m not exactly your doctor!)

My primary focus is on beauty (Surprise surprise!!) and here are the main reasons why I think you should avoid taking these products:

the affect of caffeine on your appearance

1.It speeds up the aging process.
Caffeine accelerates aging because it contributes to the decline in the production of hormones that are usually produced ‘in riches’ during youth. As well as this, it dehydrates your body which sucks all the water from your skin cells and as a result it causes wrinkles and sagging.

2.It affects sleeping patterns.
Because caffeine is a stimulant, it keeps you awake for longer which in turn makes you sleep less, and as Sleeping Beauty already informed us, no sleep takes a toll on your overall appearance and reflects very badly on your face.

Still not convinced? Well how about this one…..

3.Say Cheese!
This alone should be a reason to cut down! Not only is it visible on your face, but too much coffee/energy drinks reflects very badly on your teeth!! You might think that by adding milk or cream to your coffee, you would prevent your teeth from staining,but sorry to burst your little bubble there but white coffee would still contain the same pigments and acids as black so it doesn’t really make much of a difference!

Now that that’s all said and done, I’ll let you go enjoy your cuppa. After all, coffee addicts have always been the toughest to crack! Just don’t say you weren’t warned though!

Hope you enjoyed reading my post.  Feel free to comment below 🙂

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