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February 2018

Posted on February 27, 2018

Do men age better than women?

Dating

TimeHop: A nifty Facebook feature designed to depress individuals who have surpassed the prime of their beauty (for those of you wondering).

In my early twenties (when I still had my looks going for me), I used to take pride in the fact that I was never enticed by the idea of plastic surgery. Now some of you may not be surprised by the concept of a young twenty something year old – with not a wrinkle in sight – not finding cosmetic surgery attractive. But believe it or not, I would have known plenty of ladies who spoke quite enthusiastically about surgery from a very young age.

Whether I had a big booty or not (I didn’t), any insecurity I had growing up was always something I was willing to suffer through with. I wanted to age naturally and with grace, even if I was a skinny black girl with a ‘pancake’ bum. All the Kylie Jenners in the world would not have made me change my mind about plastic surgery – again, I was in my early twenties so I still had my looks going for me, the importance of this cannot be overstated.

Fast forward a few years (I won’t say how many) but fast forward to a point in my life where I now understand why some women would opt for elective procedures that are said to prevent the much-dreaded “mature” look. There is nothing scarier than looking at an old photograph of yourself at the age of what you regard as the prime of your beauty only to stare back at your own reflection and see that.

Note: If you try this at home, you’re at your own risk.

A lot can change in a short space of time, and these changes can happen fast. So much like any millennial experiencing early signs of aging, I turned to my much-trusted support system: Instagram, every girl’s most trustworthy and reliable friend (that was sarcasm).

Using an Instagram poll, I asked them to vote on something I have believed for a very long time to be true: do men age better than women?

Since this is something I have always believed, I was in complete shock by how divided the answers were. Some respondants thought the answer was obvious and shared similar views to me, while others believed the debate should be around the stigmas attached to female aging. While it isn’t difficult to reason with both of these views, make of what you will on the other more questionable comments people had on the matter.

I did an even split for male and female respondents so that I don’t appear to be propagating my own aging agenda 🙂

  • Question: Do men age better than women?
  • Final result: 58% Yes | 42% No

Male responses

It’s acceptable for a man to grow into a silver fox but women are pressured into looking younger and to not show signs of aging.

Most women are entirely reliant on their looks, they are not subject to the same criteria as men and yet they want all the sh!t men have worked for.

People like the idea of a modern world where we can say women age just as well as men because that’s a nice warm thing for everybody to believe in but that’s just not true. Women have the power from 18 to 30 and then from that point it starts dipping. Men have no power whatsoever till we’re about 28, a woman won’t even look at you until then.

It’s societal expectations. Some men hit their mid to late 20s and look the same into their late 30s/40. I think a part of that is also that we don’t stop growing physically until we hit 25 (I think). I do often wonder though if make up has long term negative effects on someone’s skin from wearing it so often?

Women are better looking for longer, men only get to look good when they’re silver foxes, can’t we have that at least😅

Female responses

In my opinion they don’t age well. I am looking at the all round picture as looks can be deceiving. Men toil alot in their life time, their bodies endure so much that women are the only ones who out live them regardless lol I know this may sound offensive and traditional but it’s true.

Noooooo they don’t! I’m 11months older than my husband and everyone thinks I’m younger than him. Last year a woman thought I was his daughter. She was drunk…but yano It still counts 😂😂

Society is obsessed with women’s beauty being linked to youthfulness. Even in how they pay compliments, a man looking younger than his age is nearly negative and for women a great thing. We say things like “Oh 40 is the new 20”.

Yes they do, it’s so depressing 😭

Women know that after a certain age everything starts to go south in the looks department, that’s why they feel the need to “trap” men.

Regardless of the ratio of yes to no, there is no denying that we still have a lot of mixed responses here. Thanks to my *early aging signs that we shall not yet speak of* I will continue to think that among many other things, us women do not have it easy in the aging department.

So to the person who first coined the phrase ‘black don’t crack,’ I’d like a refund.

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Posted on February 19, 2018

5 ways to detox after a weekend of binge eating

Health

5 ways to detox after a weekend of binge eating

Is it just me or does anyone else have a non-existent healthy eating regime over the weekend? As much as I try to lead a healthy life, I always find myself being a bit more lenient about my food choices as the week progresses and by Friday evening, any balanced diet I thought I had goes straight out the window.

The weekend gone was particularly bad, for reasons I will not get into (Mother Nature’s monthly visit) *cough* I indulged in almost every sugary treat in sight: from marshmallows dipped in melted chocolate to soft sponge Madeira cake – the recollection is torturous, alright!

But much like any vicious cycle, I ended up riddled with guilt by Sunday evening. Although it might not be possible to undo extreme levels of binge eating, I do believe that a good detox can help re-establish a healthy lifestyle after the fact.

Here are some of the things I will be doing this week to help me get back on track. If your weekend was anything like mine, I suggest you give these a try also:

1. Hit the gym

Irish fitness bunny sitting on gym ball

This is probably the last thing you want to be hearing. But as someone who spent yesterday afternoon sweating off my weekend binge, I can attest to exercise being a good place to start. Even though you can’t out train a bad diet, you can start your week off with activities that will pump your body with feel-good hormones, which will motivate you to stay on top of things. Don’t feel obliged to start off with an intense workout however, exercise should never be a punishment. Exercise is your friend, not the enemy and food is your fuel – never forget that! 🙂

2. Flush it out with H20

Water

I always find myself drinking more water than usual after a weekend of overeating. All the extra salt and sugar in the body’s system after an indulgent weekend can dehydrate the body and lead to bloating and tiredness, that’s why it is important to put in a little bit more effort to flush out toxins. Staying hydrated throughout the day is always helpful. I find that having a glass of uisce first thing in the morning, before and after every meal and before bed is a good rule to follow.

3. Clipper Organic and Fairtrade Detox Green Tea*

Clipper Teas Organic Detox Green Tea

A delicious and mellow green tea with a refreshing citrus burst and the fragrant boost of elderflower, nettle and fennel

If you get bored of the water and want to switch things up a bit, then Clipper Teas is the perfect solution. I’ve been sipping on this citrus brew over the past couple of days and have found it to be absolutely heavenly. According to Nutritional Therapist Libby Limon, green tea has “high levels of plant chemicals that work in your liver to help neutralise and eliminate toxins.” Having about 2 – 3 cups of Clipper Organic and Fairtrade Detox Green Tea a day can help support the body’s detoxification system and make you feel more revitalised after an overindulgent weekend! 🙂

RRP: £2.05, Waitrose (UK) or Holland & Barratts (IRE) 

4. Steam it up

Facial steamer

As little as ten minutes a day in the steam room can do your body the world of good. I used to frequent the sauna in my gym, but found that it would often leave me with breakouts on my face that resembled a heat rash. I switched the sauna for the steam room and it has come with a host of benefits. As well as helping to sweat out any pollutants, it offers mental and physical relaxation. If we want to be a bit vain about it (why not) regular steam room sessions also brighten up the skin, leaving it with a healthy and natural glow.

5. Sleep tight

Sleep it works

Having an early night is not only important for feeling energised in the  morning. But I find when I clock out early, I avoid the temptation of having a late night snack. You might not have noticed, but the longer you stay up, the more likely you will feel peckish and eat unnecessarily. Since most reasonable snacks have about 200 calories, it would be fair to say that skipping late night snacks can result in saving about 1,000 calories by the end of the week – I don’t know about you, but it sounds to me like getting a few extra early nights a week might be more beneficial than you’d think!

I hope you find these suggestions helpful, and remember: you’re allowed to fall off the track every now and again, we’re only human. All that matters is that you get back up and focus on the future. Should you find yourself falling victim to another cheeky weekend, feel free to refer to this list again! 🙂

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*This product was sent to me by a PR company, please find disclaimer here.

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Posted on February 14, 2018

That sugar baby life: dreamy romance or glorified prostitution?

Dating

When I first heard about sugar relationships, I was rather naive about the whole concept. The notion that a wrinkled  wealthy man could financially support a young and attractive woman while asking for nothing but her presence in return was not something that set off any alarm bells.

I thought, why wouldn’t a financially stable man support a twenty something year old through college if he has the means to? If he can afford it and she can return the favour by giving him whatever is in the parameters of their sugar arrangement (her ‘presence’) then isn’t it a win for everyone!? How very naive of me indeed….

Thanks to my newly found wisdom of sugar dating and all other relationships that exist in the realm of the sugar world, I am now inclined to think otherwise.

My growing obsession with the dynamics of such a relationship led me to jump into the sugar bowl to dig up on the matter. After having joined SeekingArrangement, an online dating site that aims to link up older and financially stable individuals (usually men that go by the term sugar daddy/SD) with their commonly young and impressionable female counterparts (sugar baby/SB), I can now say that my views regarding sugar daddy and sugar baby relationships have shifted drastically.

It is safe to say that the ‘on your terms’ relationships that a lot of sugar dating websites try to sell are not to be taken at face value – at least not if you’re the SB anyways! Many men who use sugar dating sites are not far off from searching for escort. They use the guise of a ‘structured’ relationship to have young SBs bend to their will. But before we touch on whether or not being a sugar baby is akin to being a sex worker, I think it is important to outline the different types of sugar daddies that exist on these dating sites…..

Here are 10 types of sugar daddies that are likely to be found online 🙂

1. Fake Daddy

Allow me to start with the most obvious of types: fake daddies. These are men (or women) that set up online profiles pretending to have a bank account in the Cayman Island and a yacht somewhere in the south of France. They are the ones who take advantage of the fact that almost anyone can mask as anything once there is a screen in front of them.

2. Wannabe Daddy

This is the type of  SD that warrants a bit of sympathy. In the perfect world, he would have the attention of a hot blonde that is half his age to shower with gifts and treat like royalty. He would give her everything and anything she could ever ask for. The problem is, he can’t afford the lifestyle he wants to have with a SB and the life that he so desperately craves is therefore one that has to be left to his imagination (ergo the sympathy).

3. Salt Daddy

This type of SD is similar to the wannabe daddy in the sense that he can’t afford to be a ‘real’ sugar daddy. What separates the salt daddy from the wannabe daddy however, is that he actively seeks naive women knowing well he has has nothing substantial to offer. He uses trickery and manipulation to get his way with sugar babies and when it’s time for this salt papi to holdup his end of the agreement, he is nowhere to be found!

4. The Married but Looking Daddy

The married but looking daddy is probably the most common type of SD that exists in the sugar world. Some require discretion and secrecy from their SB while others claim that their partner is aware of their wandering eye. Regardless of the situation, the thought of this type of SD wanting a sugar baby can be deeply disturbing when his sugar baby’s age matches that of his daughter.

5. Submissive Daddy 

This is the type of daddy who gets off on taking on a not-so-daddy role. Not only does he derive sexual pleasure from having dominant women abuse his wallet, but it is a prerequisite that she humiliates him in the process. He thrives off anything from getting his marching orders from a powerful woman after she’s drained him of all his cash at an ‘ATM meet,’ to fulfilling various embarrassing tasks that she demands of him afterwards.

6. Peter Pan Daddy

The Peter Pan daddy is one who simply  just enjoys the company of a young and attractive woman.Having younger company brings out a side of him that he refuses to let go of. If she happens to  need mentorship or a bit of financial support, he would give a helping hand. But only if he can.

7. Pimp Daddy 

On the flip side, we have the pimp daddy. This is the SD who treats sugar dating sites like it’s for finding escorts. He has a sense of entitlement and when he makes demands, he expects them to be met. The pimp daddy claims to be firmly against using professional escorts, yet he speaks to his sugar babies like they are ladies of the night.

8. Online Daddy

This type of daddy has no intention of pursing an arrangement outside the virtual world. He is the type of SD that either lives overseas or travels quite regularly. He can give a good talk about meeting up and discussing a mutually beneficial arrangement, but the reality of it is that he quite enjoys the online chats and texts.

9. The Mammy and Daddy, ‘Daddy’

Although not as common as some of the others, the mammy and daddy type of profiles seek a younger SB to help spruce things up in the bedroom. They may be swingers or they may simply be two people who feel that they’re about a decade deep into the relationship. This type of SD profile just wants to spice things up before kids are factored into their relationship.

10. Dream Daddy

This type of daddy has the means to provide financial, mental and emotional support to a potential sugar baby. Although he has a busy schedule, the dream daddy never fails to hold up his end of the arrangement when he has one. Since he  doesn’t ask for anything sexual in return for his generosity, one would question whether or not he has a functioning libido. Any SB who lands one of these has basically hit the jackpot!!

While it is clear from this list that there isn’t just one type of SD that exists, I do get the impression that the majority of sugar relationships run on secrecy, lies, sex and money. After weeks of interrogating active users of sugar dating sites and attempting to discover the motivations behind why people use them, I am starting to think that the standard SD/SB arrangement is adjacent to sex work (when there is intimacy involved, that is).

In a way, I also feel like the dynamics of the average sugar relationship brings women decades back to when they were forced to stay at home and depend on their partners for financial support. But above all else, this new discovery makes me wonder whether or not women inherently seek out men who can provide them with financial security.

The growing popularity of sugar arrangements and the use of sugar dating sites begs the question of whether or not men and women really are biologically hardwired to think and behave differently when it comes to matters of dating, whether it is part of a woman’s genetic makeup to look for security in a man and whether men are biologically geared towards mainly wanting………… do I really need to say it? 🙂

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Posted on February 1, 2018

My top 10 most-watched YouTube videos

youtube

With today being both #TBT and the first of February, I’ve decided to compile a list of my most popular YouTube videos to date. Since my YouTube channel is still relatively new, I always experience a feeling of accomplishment whenever people like, comment or subscribe to my channel – see what I just did there!?

I have clearly adapted the universal language of all YouTubers at this stage, so much so that one may even go so far to call me a YouTuber.  However, I still struggle to classify myself as a YouYuber since creating video content is still secondary to me.

As much as I enjoy making videos, writing will always be a priority. I make YouTube videos whenever I get the chance and I try not to pressure myself into creating one when I can’t. So with that said, here are my top ten most-watched YouTube videos to date 🙂

10. #Storytime: having sex with a lace wig

9. First date jitters

8. Single at 27

7. Get to know me!

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4. One month on Herbalife

3. Why I’m single

2. 5 types of racist trolls the black Irish meet online

1. 5 things Irish guys should never say to a black girl on Tinder

I hope you get the chance to browse my channel, and if you like my content then don’t forget to subscribe! :*

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