November 2016

SLUT. WHORE. TRAMP. SLAG.

These are cheap digs women have used to tear each other down, often in an attempt to make themselves feel more valuable. These are words that boys have unfairly labelled girls after being rejected by a pursued love interest. The insult ‘slut’ and other variations of its kind, is quite possibly one the lowest forms of degradation for a woman – and not so much for a man. But why is that?

That is because men have always embraced going out on the pull and having as many one night stands as they please with little judgement. It has always been a badge of honour for a man to say he has scored a high number of sexual partners. While there has been significant progess in the feminist movement, the question as to whether or not women can do the same will always be up for debate.

Some would argue that women are not biologically built to have multiple sexual partner because of the emotional attachment that comes with sharing such an intimate moment with someone. Personally, I’ve always believed in consistent sex with one partner, so monogamy is a topic I will be touching on another time. But today, I want to dig deep into something I’ve been trying to define for a very long time now: What makes someone a slut? how exactly can does one define what or who a slut is?

I am obsessed with this subject matter. I am both baffled and fascinated by how such a broad term has evolved to something that demeans women for being their sexual selves. What is equallying intriguing is how acceptable it is for women to playfully call each other sluts, yet when a man uses it in the same playful tone, he becomes the mysoginist.

I’ll be the first to admit the the word ‘hoe’ is a regular part of my vocabulary. It is not something I am proud of and I should probably work on it. But it is a word that myself and my close friends would often use to tease each other about our sexual adventures. We use the word so regularly and with so little thought that we have forgotten the connotations that come with the word.

So once again, I ask: what is a slut? Is a slut someone who doesn’t believe in sexual limitations? Is it someone who dresses provocatively?  Is it even about promiscuity at all? What is it and what constitutes of ‘slutty’ behaviour?

I’ve asked men of different ages and backgrounds to define the word ‘slut’ in their own words, these are some of their answers:

Someone who sleeps with anyone and everyone –  anonymous male age 31

A guy or girl who has sex with lots of randomers without protection is pretty slutty. Turns sex into something disposable – anonymous male age 27

People who are only attracted to people because of money, status and looks – anonymous male, age 27

Someone having sex often to boost her disastrously low self-esteem – anonymous male, age 34

A girl who has about three or four lads on the go every week – anonymous male, age 28

And then the liberal-minded….

I’ve never really thought of it. I don’t ever consider people to be sluts, I guess if someone were to sleep with your friend, then that’s a slut – anonymous male, age 28

I’ve never considered a girl or woman to be a slut. A slut is someone who is usually misjudged, having been extra indulgent in sex as a means of satisfying or reaching a misplaced search within. To be a slut takes a kind of courage, but also it lacks another form on courage masks are mostly worn. Take ‘em off & you’ll realise everyone is a slut of some type. Sexual sluts, money sluts, control sluts, power sluts, food sluts, attention sluts – anonymous male, age 28

No such thing as a slut. Just unenlightened people – anonymous male, age 32

Everyone is free to sleep around. I don’t judge people who sleep around, but I do judge them if they do it in a wreckless manner like not being safe and not getting tested regularly because if they’re being promiscuous and have irregular partners then that is essentially spreading diseases – anonymous male, age 29

I don’t really consider anyone a slut, I’m all in favour of promiscuous behaviour – anonymous male,age 31

Judging by the mixed responses here, it is fair to say that we have become more progressive as a society when it comes to female sexuality. I for one can hold my hand up to say that my perception of the word slut has changed with both time and age.

For years I’ve always believed that a slut is a woman who pursues a taken man. A woman who goes back and forth between sexual partners. A woman who constantly cheats on her man with little or no remorse. That is how I’ve always defined what I thought a ‘whore’ was.

But now, I think it goes a lot deeper than someone with loose morals. I think using the word in a way to offend or define someone is a skewed and small minded way of looking at things. Unless you use the word to describe a sex worker who gets paid to perform sexual activities, then the concept of “slut” isn’t real.

In my opinion, we will never come to a global agreement as to what or who a slut, a tramp or a whore actually is. There is no universal definition for it and the subjectivity of the word proves it doesn’t exist.

I may not be a slut by my definition, but I could easily be one to someone else. The bottom line is, we’re all sluts to someone out there! Happy hoeing gals! 🙂

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[29/11/16]

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