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Tinder Date

Posted on September 5, 2016

10 things nobody tells you about online dating

men/ Uncovered

dating first date

Dating. I’ve never really been a fan of the term. Not only do I think it’s very American, but the word itself makes me incredibly awkward. Whenever I hear the word date, I automatically picture two strangers sitting in close proximity to one another in an often controlled environment: uncomfortable body language, pecking at food instead of wolfing it down, planned topics of conversation to fill the silence…. nobody is ever truly themselves, and to be quite frank, I wouldn’t expect it to be any different either.

After all, when you’re meeting someone for the first time, especially after a few weeks of texting (and possible virtual stalking), it’s only natural to have certain expectations of them – as they’d likely have for you. So making a good first impression is an unsurprising goal for most. Everyone is simply trying to be the best version of themselves – which in retrospect, isn’t exactly something to fault them for.

As a recent blog post would suggest, I jumped onto the online dating game rather late. The now deleted dating app, Plenty of Fish, gave me a countless amount of giggles. While it was fun for the most part, it did teach me things that I would never have known had I decided against exploring this contemporary dating wave . They are the raw truths about the dating world which most people would be inclined to leave out:

1. It’s bloody exhausting!

From praying you remember the details of your conversations to hoping you don’t confuse his occupation for someone else’s, dating really can be mentally draining. It’s one thing to be mentally exhausted from texting two or three POF lads at a time, but it’s a whole different level of exhaustion when you thought you had something special going with someone, only for things to fizzle out after a few weeks – then you have to start all over again.

DATING TIRED

2. You might gain a few

Nobody wants to be that annoying gym head who orders a caesar salad with no caesar dressing on a first date. So naturally, you’re going to bend your diet rules a little bit. Extra side dressing here, a creamy dessert there and before you know it, you’ve piled on a few around the waist – not a fun predicament!

3. It can be time consuming

Instead of spending your time productively and doing valuable things such as reading (a book, not a FB status), you may find yourself randomly scrolling through messages or swiping left and right during a commute. You may become so engulfed in the online dating world that waking up to Facebook newsfeed becomes a thing of the past because the thought of waking up to Tinder sounds more appealing.

4. The ‘spark’ tends to fizzle out

You see someone you like. You match with them. You talk for a bit. Meet up. Continue talking, but a lot less this time. You forget about each other. You see someone else you like. You match with them. Talk for a bit. Meet up once. Continue talking, but a lot less this time…. see where I’m going with this? It is frightening how typical it is for things to fizzle out. Nobody ends it, nobody’s feelings get hurt. It just dies. Evaporates. Into thin air.

dating disposable

5. You’re not the only one who has his attention

This may sound like a no brainer to some, but if you get easily attached to someone you like then a reminder is needed. It’s quite likely that you’re not the only one talking to this person. Try not to put all your eggs into one basket, you’ll only find yourself disappointed.

6. There are a lot of broken hearts out there

You don’t realise how much baggage others carry until you actually talk to them. You’d be surprised by how many people have gone through similar experiences as you (if not worse). It might make them a bit more guarded and more closed so I guess you have to be patient.

7. It can promote the idea that people are disposable

 This whole swiping business on Tinder can instill the mindset that people are disposable. Considering how easy it is to organise a ‘date’ with someone, you might find that some people put very little effort into it because they know they can always find someone else just around the corner.

dating swiping on Tinder

8. You don’t know anyone’s true intentions

He can say he wants to date you, he might even wine and dine you for a while. But how can you be sure that you won’t get kicked to the kerb after he gets what he wants? You don’t. Unless you have some sort of superpowers, you won’t always know. You’re taking a leap of faith with the whole thing. The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

9. You can build friendships from it

Sometimes a romantic relationship isn’t the only thing to flourish from a Tinder or POF date. You might meet someone amazing and after a while, realise they would make a better friend than a partner. Everlasting friendships may come from ‘dating’ apps as well, and that can be a good thing.

10. You get to know what you want

Putting yourself out there to meet new people and going on random dates does have its perks (and I’m not talking about the free meals here) an even bigger benefit has to do with self growth: you get to know what you want. Be it romantically or platonically, it helps you discover what you like and what you don’t like. Sometimes, you might even surprise yourself to find that what you thought you always wanted isn’t what you need.

WHAT YOU THINK YOU WANT ISN’T ALWAYS WHAT YOU THINK IT IS

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Posted on November 6, 2014

10 things to know before going on a Tinder date

Dating

tinder

In today’s world, waking up to Facebook like it’s a daily newspaper has become the norm. With trendy apps such as Instagram and Snapchat, engaging in social media has becoming increasingly popular and people are using dating sites a lot more now than ever before. So when the mating app Tinder first came out, I wasn’t surprised by how many of my friends were using it.

I’m not going to lie, I did download it myself – but that was only because I was curious to see what all the hype was about (not to mention, I was also in London at the time). I got bored of it fairly quickly and no offense to anyone, but when I got back to Ireland, there was a lot of swiping left – not a lot of talent going on here.

Anyways, anyone who knows me knows I can be pretty paranoid about things like this (and everything else), but do I know a few girls who have happily gone on dates with guys they’ve met on Tinder and while I make no judgment on their decisions, I do feel that there are a few things that need to be considered before agreeing to go on what is widely known as ‘a Tinder date.’

  1. If you don’t know what he actually does with himself, then you might want to wait a while before agreeing to meet up.
  2. Surprises are good, but not in situations like this. Make sure you send a screenshot to a trusted friend, so that they’ll know what he looks like – ‘Girl Goes Missing After Tinder Date With Stranger’ is never a nice headline to see.
  3. Some people go through lengths to set up fake profiles, so it could be anyone behind the screen. It won’t hurt  to let someone know where you’re going – better safe than sorry, right?
  4. You could be talking to the same person as your friend – always a good idea to check in with the girls, you don’t want to end up “falling” for the same guy now, do you?
  5. He could – or should I say – he probably  just wants you for the one night. So make sure you’re both on the same page.
  6. It’s quite likely he isn’t looking for something too serious (otherwise, he wouldn’t be on Tinder).Again, know what you’re getting yourself into.
  7. There’s a 99.9% chance that you aren’t the only person he is talking to or planning to take on a date.
  8. He might not show up at all  – yes, this does happen.
  9. You may attract a stalker (I use the world ‘stalker,’ very loosely here).
  10. Once you delete him from your chat, he’s gone on TINDER forever but it doesn’t stop him from finding you on other social media sites.

Have you ever been on a Tinder date? If so, feel free to share your story below! 🙂

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