the rule

He’s Just Not That Into You has always ranked  quite highly on my list of favourite romantic comedies. If I were super religious, I’d treat it as the Holy Bible. I’d recite every single word said by Justin Long’s character (I’ll get into that later) and follow his most valuable advice to bag the man of my dreams.  But because I’m neither religious nor with the ‘perfect’ man, I tend to re-watch it whenever I feel the need to be brought back to reality so that I can ponder on whether or not I am the rule or the exception in modern age dating.

Since it can be near impossible to come to any conclusion of such matters without some advice from those around you, I usually find myself asking my trusted friends and family for their opinion.  Although I don’t always agree with what they say at the start  (when do we ever?) there is something that I was once told which has had an everlasting impression on me.

I was once told that I was raised through Disney, and how Princess Elsa is my alter ego. Initially I found these remarks rather amusing. However, the more I think about it and continue to live my life in the way that I do, the more I’ve started seeing some truth in these seemingly ridiculous comments.

I’ve spent my whole life thinking I am an exception. And by exception, I mean extraordinarily special. Of course, I am special, aren’t we all? But just not always as special as our egos would have us believe.  Not always as ‘special’ as the girl who has a one night stand and then ends up in a long term relationship with the person. Not always as ‘special’ as the couple who were each other’s firsts and lasts. These are classic examples of what being ‘special,’ or should I say, ‘the exception,’ really is. They call it the exception because they are uncommon situations. They are outliers in a world where dating apps such as Tinder and POF promote the idea that people are dispensable.

In the film, He’s Just Not That Into You, Justin Long’s character (Alex), has a theory for the rule and the exception. The rule: the predicaments that the majority of people in the dating pool find themselves in. The exception: the not-so-common situation.I like most people, have often been the rule. I’ve dated men who have ‘hit and quit,’ I’ve impatiently waited for a text that never came through and so on and so forth. In these instances, I wasn’t the exception, I was the rule. And if you’re anything like me, then that can be a hard pill to swallow. It’s never an easy fact to accept being the rule when you’ve spent your whole entire life thinking otherwise.

Now although I agree with the foundation on which this theory is based and despite being ‘the rule’ for a good chunk of my dating life. I have to say, I still think it is a tad bit flawed as a theory.

To me, the word ‘either’ is quite limiting. It implies that you can only be one of the two. But judging from the people around me and those who went from ‘being the rule,’ to being the outlier, I’ve come up with my own little theory for single women struggling to find out how ‘special’ they really are: you can be the rule and the exception: it just depends on the man.

I think that women who have spent a large portion of their dating life being the rule, simply haven’t met the man to make them the  exception. As the saying goes, ‘one day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked with anyone else.’

All hope is not lost, and no matter what happens, it never should be because in hindsight, you’re an exception. You’re an exception in a world full of men who are making you believe you’re the rule.

Never forget that princess 🙂

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