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sex

Posted on April 20, 2018

Announcement: Genderquake hits the screens next month!!!

Sexuality

Genderquake cast Photo credit: Channel 4

The cat is finally out of the bag….

I’ve been sitting on this for the good part of seven months at this stage and now that I’ve attended the private screening for this upcoming series, I can finally spill the beans!!!

Towards the end of last year, I participated in a two-part Channel 4 documentary called Genderquake. Filming for this groundbreaking series involved cohabiting with ten strangers for a full week to have spirited debates around gender, sexuality and everything in between!

Although I was a bit apprehensive about partaking in the programme initially, I have to say, I am proud of my contribution on the show. I met some truly wonderful people who challenged my ideologies in ways that continue to intrigue me today.

I look forward to seeing how it pans out for us all and I hope you guys tune in next month 🙂

Channel 4 Studios, London

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Genderquake airs on May 7th at 9PM on Channel 4

A massive thank you to Hamish Fergusson, Nick Hornby, Tina Flintoff, Mikey Trotter, Demi Doyle, and everyone at Optomen involved in the production of this show! xx

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Posted on January 16, 2017

New year, new……. dude? 10 tips for having sex with a new partner

Dating

new year new dude

It’s mid-January.  So that means the majority of you are either trying to convince yourself that this is the year you will finally commit to the New Year’s resolutions you set for yourself nearly half a decade ago, or you’ve already succumb to the defeatist attitude by deciding your New Year’s resolutions were never really that achievable to begin with- people are so predictable *insert eye roll emoji*

As you can probably tell, I’ve never really been much of a believer in New Year’s resolutions. So my first blog post of 2017 is not going to be about the goals I’ve set myself this year. Instead, it is going to be about something both you and I have experienced in the past, and if there isn’t a ring on your finger, then the chances are you will relive this exciting and sometimes scary moment again – sex with a new person.

No matter what way you slice it, first-time sexual encounters are nearly always awkward. Even the most body confident person in the world would feel a little bit timid about showing off their goods to a new person.

The last time I exposed my sexual self to somebody new, I was as nervous as anybody else who’s put their sex life on the back burner for a year would be. So I’m far from an expert in this. But as the saying goes, sometimes you gotta fake it until you make it – and I don’t mean literally here! 🙂

1. Bring a rubber….or two

Without sounding like you mother here, always, always, always use protection. Using a rubber is an absolute must when it comes to having sex with a new person. If both parties know that sex is on the cards, then there really is no reason to not bring one – that goes for both of you!

2. Dress to impress

The right underwear will give you that extra bit of confidence and help you get your senses going. If you have a special go-to lingerie set that never fails to impress, then it’s time to dig that out of your sexrobe. As well as boosting your confidence, a good set will blow his mind. Either go hard or go home – no pun intended.

3. Don’t overload on alcohol

It’s always a good idea to take the edge off a bit with a glass of vino. But don’t go downing a full bottle of wine or anything like that. After all, you do want to remember your first time together. Just drink enough to help you relax and not worry about why you didn’t start working out eight months ago.

4. Easy tiger

There’s no point in diving into things right away. Take your time in exploring each other’s needs and wants. The build up of sex and discovering each other’s preferences is part of what makes it so enjoyable and fun.

5. Trim the hedge

I know this comes down to personal preferences, but I think we can all agree that having a presentable lady garden the first time you have sex with someone increases your chances of being asked out again – JOKE! But in all honesty, tidying up gives you one less thing to worry about on the night.

new year new dude 2

6. Technical issues

Contrary to the popular belief that all men are dogs who spend every waking moment trying to cover their raging boner, it is not uncommon for their manhood to misbehave and erm… not stay up. There are a number of reasons for why this can happen, just try not to take it personally. Instead offer a back massage or something to help you both relax.

7. Use your words

If there is something your new guy is doing that you don’t particularly like, communicate it. Likewise, if there is something you really like then make that known. Communication is key when it comes to enjoying sex with a new partner. Once you’ve both communicated your desires you’ll get the most out of the moment.

8. It’s not a rodeo

As much as you might be tempted to show off your skills to wow him, try to hold off until you get a little bit more comfortable with one another. Consider the first time as a preview of what’s to come – the kinky mask fetishes and sadistic fantasies can wait. Not only does it give you both something to look forward to, but it also leaves a sense of mystery too.

9. The let down

Sometimes, just sometimes, the build up to sex during the talking stages of a new relationship is actually better than the real thing. So don’t be disappointed if the sex is not exactly how you envisioned it to be. At the end of the day, no two sexual encounters are ever the same. It all comes down to getting familiar with each other’s bodies. Practice makes perfect!

10. Enjoy it

Just try to relax and enjoy the moment!  Remember, you’ve done this before, the only thing that’s different here is the person you’re doing it with – at the end of the day, there are only so many ways you can ride a bike! 🙂

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Posted on November 18, 2014

Would you have sex with an STD carrier?

Health

Apparently having an STD doesn’t put everyone off having sex……

std

I came across an article on The Daily Mail about research conducted on young adults who admitted to having sex with someone with an STD – wait, it gets worse.

The research was commissioned by pharmacy www.UKMedix.com.  They asked over 1,200 people whether or not they’d have sex with someone they knew had an STI and around 19% answered ‘yes’ while up to a quarter said it would depend on the STI – I know, how gross!

What grossed me out more is the fact that 39% of those questioned have willingly jumped into bed with an STD carrier and didn’t even use a rubber! Most of them didn’t think that dealing with the consequences of having unprotected sex with an STD carrier was a big issue (because having an STI is soooooo normal!).

According to one of the representatives of UK Medix,

“Exposing yourself to the risk of contracting an STI is never advisable. Even though condoms can offer a certain level of protection, this isn’t the case for some sexually transmitted infections – and certainly shouldn’t be put to the test. If you really like a person, wait until their condition is treated properly before venturing into a sexual relationship with them. That way, you can ensure your intimacy is safe from risk of infection. There is never any excuse for knowingly exposing your body to potential harm in this way, particularly those who claim that they’d happily jump into bed with someone unprotected despite knowing they had an STI.”

Sarah Bailey

I totally agree with Sarah on this one. Safety first, fun later – your health is your wealth, people!

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Posted on September 2, 2014

12 mistakes women make with men

Dating

mistakes women make with men

After giving it plenty of time and consideration, I’ve decided to finally unleash my inner Carrie Bradshaw. She wasn’t exactly an expert when it came to men and frankly, neither am I.

However, I do have some very interesting stories that pretty much go from one extreme to another  – that’s putting it lightly.

Also, after hearing stories from female friends as well as other women, I think it’s fair to say we’ve all made one or two of these mistakes at least once in our lives of being ‘young and naive.’

1. Confusing sex with love
Most of the time, sex is sex – nothing more, nothing less.

2. Getting too attached
Being invited over should never EVER translate to leaving your toothbrush at his – even if you did stay the night.

3. Overanalysing
The thinking: the constant and endless thinking that’s enough to put us in a straight jacket. Maybe, just maybe, the words ‘okay then,’ really just mean ‘okay then’.

12 mistakes women make with men 3

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4. Not making them work for it
Don’t just give it to any Tom, Dick or Harry who comes along, make them work for it – make them earn what they want.

5. Making them work too hard
The opposite applies too. Push them too far off the edge and they just might stay there! I guess the key here is just to find the right balance (let me know when you’ve found it!)

6. Opening up too soon
This pretty much sends them running to the hills. No poems, no love letters, no confessions – just don’t do it.

7. Putting them up on a pedestal
No good can ever come of putting your man, lover or crush up on a pedestal.

8. Emasculating them
I’m all for girl power and the whole women rule the world jazz, but let’s be honest; men like to set the pace. Sometimes, leaving the ball in their court will show you whether or not he’s really interested.

12 mistakes women make with men 2

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9. Expecting them to change
Change comes from within so don’t hold your breath if you think he’s going to give up one of his ‘bad habits’ before he’s ready. We think they’re going to change and they think we won’t – what a beautiful world we live in!

10. Becoming someone else
Women who change themselves for men are only setting themselves out for disappointment. Especially since the truth always comes out in the end.

11. Being too available
Nobody wants an eager beaver; it’s never a good look either on a woman or a man for that matter.

12. Expecting too much
At this stage, I’ve realised that sometimes it’s better to just count the blessings that are already there than to complain about the things that aren’t!

So there you have it, 12 mistakes women make with men straight from the horses mouth ( I kid!) but I can’t say I’m not guilty here! Feel free to share any thoughts you might have down below 🙂

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