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self love

Posted on October 5, 2017

12 things my 40-year-old self would tell me now


They say hindsight is a wonderful thing, but I reckon foresight is even more useful

Farrah Storr, Editor-in-Chief, Cosmopolitan

A little over a year ago I wrote a blog called 12 things I would tell my 20-year-old self. If you haven’t read it yet, please know that I was an absolute brat back then. Part of me cringes at the thought of it now because I feel that I’ve  come such a long way to being the woman I am today and I think it is important for each of us to look back and remind ourselves of our progress and the ways in which our past experiences have helped us grow into the strong individuals we’ve become.

While I do feel that I have matured in the last seven years, I believe there is always room for improvement and as much as I’ve enjoyed my life to date, something in me is telling me that some of my best days are yet to come.

So today’s blog post is going to be about the things that I hope an older and wiser me – either reflecting on a rocking chair in a nursing home or exchanging kisses with a loving husband – would tell me now.

1. You will be someone’s queen the second you stop being daddy’s little princess.

2. Don’t let your pride get in the way of your friendships, you need people more than you think.

3. Every flaw on your body tells a story  and you will grow to love them sooner than you think.

4. Positive affirmations will get you there quicker.

5. Some day you’ll lose the anxiety of not carrying a mirror with you everywhere you go. 

6. You never grew those ‘child-bearing’ hips you’ve always longed for, but it didn’t make you infertile, did it?

7. Your small frame doesn’t make you any less of a woman. Women’s bodies come in many different forms and sizes. 

8. PCOS won’t defne you.

9. You will let someone love you someday and that person will add to your happiness.

10. Allowing yourself to feel angry from time to time doesn’t make you that ‘angry black woman,’ never conceal those feelings.

11. Good on you for not following the crowd, even when the pressure was on. You stayed at home, you followed your dreams and look how much it’s paid off?

12. Dick isn’t everything. 

Are there any things you hope an older and wiser you would advise you on now? If so, feel free to tweet me @FilomenaKaguako 🙂

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