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Posted on January 16, 2017

New year, new……. dude? 10 tips for having sex with a new partner

relationships/ Tips

new year new dude

It’s mid-January.  So that means the majority of you are either trying to convince yourself that this is the year you will finally commit to the New Year’s resolutions you set for yourself nearly half a decade ago, or you’ve already succumb to the defeatist attitude by deciding your New Year’s resolutions were never really that achievable to begin with- people are so predictable *insert eye roll emoji*

As you can probably tell, I’ve never really been much of a believer in New Year’s resolutions. So my first blog post of 2017 is not going to be about the goals I’ve set myself this year. Instead, it is going to be about something both you and I have experienced in the past, and if there isn’t a ring on your finger, then the chances are you will relive this exciting and sometimes scary moment again – sex with a new person.

No matter what way you slice it, first-time sexual encounters are nearly always awkward. Even the most body confident person in the world would feel a little bit timid about showing off their goods to a new person.

The last time I exposed my sexual self to somebody new, I was as nervous as anybody else who’s put their sex life on the back burner for a year would be. So I’m far from an expert in this. But as the saying goes, sometimes you gotta fake it until you make it – and I don’t mean literally here! :)

1. Bring a rubber….or two

Without sounding like you mother here, always, always, always use protection. Using a rubber is an absolute must when it comes to having sex with a new person. If both parties know that sex is on the cards, then there really is no reason to not bring one – that goes for both of you!

2. Dress to impress

The right underwear will give you that extra bit of confidence and help you get your senses going. If you have a special go-to lingerie set that never fails to impress, then it’s time to dig that out of your sexrobe. As well as boosting your confidence, a good set will blow his mind. Either go hard or go home – no pun intended.

3. Don’t overload on alcohol

It’s always a good idea to take the edge off a bit with a glass of vino. But don’t go downing a full bottle of wine or anything like that. After all, you do want to remember your first time together. Just drink enough to help you relax and not worry about why you didn’t start working out eight months ago.

4. Easy tiger

There’s no point in diving into things right away. Take your time in exploring each other’s needs and wants. The build up of sex and discovering each other’s preferences is part of what makes it so enjoyable and fun.

5. Trim the hedge

I know this comes down to personal preferences, but I think we can all agree that having a presentable lady garden the first time you have sex with someone increases your chances of being asked out again – JOKE! But in all honesty, tidying up gives you one less thing to worry about on the night.

new year new dude 2

6. Technical issues

Contrary to the popular belief that all men are dogs who spend every waking moment trying to cover their raging boner, it is not uncommon for their manhood to misbehave and erm… not stay up. There are a number of reasons for why this can happen, just try not to take it personally. Instead offer a back massage or something to help you both relax.

7. Use your words

If there is something your new guy is doing that you don’t particularly like, communicate it. Likewise, if there is something you really like then make that known. Communication is key when it comes to enjoying sex with a new partner. Once you’ve both communicated your desires you’ll get the most out of the moment.

8. It’s not a rodeo

As much as you might be tempted to show off your skills to wow him, try to hold off until you get a little bit more comfortable with one another. Consider the first time as a preview of what’s to come – the kinky mask fetishes and sadistic fantasies can wait. Not only does it give you both something to look forward to, but it also leaves a sense of mystery too.

9. The let down

Sometimes, just sometimes, the build up to sex during the talking stages of a new relationship is actually better than the real thing. So don’t be disappointed if the sex is not exactly how you envisioned it to be. At the end of the day, no two sexual encounters are ever the same. It all comes down to getting familiar with each other’s bodies. Practice makes perfect!

10. Enjoy it

Just try to relax and enjoy the moment!  Remember, you’ve done this before, the only thing that’s different here is the person you’re doing it with – at the end of the day, there are only so many ways you can ride a bike! :)

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Posted on January 2, 2016

Celibacy: One year on

men/ relationships

celibacy 3

This time last week, I was absolutely dreading writing this article, let alone actually publishing it. But after having received one of the most heart-warming gifts by a very good friend of mine, of a framed certificate to congratulate me on completing 12 months of celibacy, I took it as a sign from the universe that I needed to go live with this.

I think the path of celibacy is something people should be made aware of. And I most definitely think that it is a topic that needs to be discussed by today’s generation. If you think about it, sex is too easy to talk about. Let’s face it, it’s absolutely everywhere. Having sex with ‘zero commitments’ has become so common that we have come to a stage where relationships have lost any sort of meaning, never mind the act of actually making love – excuse me if that’s no longer a socially acceptable term to use.

Since sex is so easily available, and people are just randomly jumping into bed with strangers, the thought of willingly giving up sex just seems absurd to the Netflix and Chill generation. Actually, it is unheard of.

netflix and chill

So when I told some of my friends that I had decided to take a vow of celibacy for a full year, most of them laughed in my face. Some of them even questioned if I were gay. To them, it seemed like an impossible task, some would even say self-punishment.

I mean why in the good name of God would anybody want to voluntarily deprive themselves of sex for a full year? Who in the right mind decides they want to be sexless for a full 365 days? I’d love to tell you that the answer to that is a broken-hearted girl and just call it a day. But to be honest, it was a lot more than that. It was a mixture of emotions and a mountain of issues piling up one after the other.

For starters, I was just out of a relationship (if I could even call it that), which made me jump on the ‘All men are %$$holes bandwagon’. It was an absolute rollercoaster of many highs, but a lot more lows. My love and sex life took a pivotal turn after it.  Enough was enough.

hearts rarely

I had gotten come to a point in my life where I finally realised I deserved so much better. I realised I had been giving my body to men who were not truly worthy of it.To men who charmed the pants off me (literally) and then poof! Off they were.

I’m not saying that I was ever wreckless with sex. But I will admit that I went into the majority of my sexual relationships with both eyes closed. Up until now, I was absolutely blind. Blind of the emotional consequences, the mental consequences and everything else that comes with sharing your body with another soul. So this time last year I made the conscious decision to go celibate for a full year.

To say it was difficult, is an understatement. During my ‘dry spell’, nature’s monthly visits were definitely a lot harder to handle. I was extraordinarily sentimental and often felt that nobody wanted me because my body wasn’t good enough when in fact it was my very own decision to become celibate.

your naked body

However,the positives of taking on a life of celibacy definitely overweighed the negatives. I have learnt to value myself and my body without seeking sexual partners to that for me. I have learnt to set my own standards and not accept the standards which have been placed on me. But most importantly, I have learnt that I am worth waiting for.

I have always been a firm believer of making yourself happy first.I honestly think that the most important relationship we will ever have in this world is the relationship we have with ourselves. We are never going to get any closer to happiness by sharing our bodies with others-  if anything, it does the exact opposite. Yet, there I was going against my so-called beliefs, making the same mistakes time after time.

A wise woman once told me that each person we have sex with leaves their energy with us and I think this statement holds so much truth. I would have never thought so years ago, but I do now. I am in no shape or form trying to force celibacy onto anyone, at the end of the day it is your body, not mine. I just feel that women (and man alike) should be made more aware of who they give their bodies to and contemplate whether or not these people are deserving of it.

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Posted on September 14, 2015

5 types of men you’ll meet before your thirties

men/ relationships

5 types of men you will meet before your thirties

A few people have asked me why I stopped writing my relationship articles – if that’s even what you can call them! But to be honest, it isn’t the easiest topic to write about. While I try my best to be as witty and as humorous as I can, some of the experiences I’ve written about are a bit personal. I guess you just have to know me on a deeper level to be able to pinpoint when I am speaking the truth and when I’m just having a laugh (which I do quite a lot).

Anyways, seeing that one of my relationship posts (8 Types of Men You Should Avoid Dating) has been shortlisted in the Blog Awards Ireland, I’ve decided to let my inner Bradshaw shine yet again!

So here’s something fun, light-hearted and maybe, just maybe a bit personal – you just never know with me! ;)

Here are 5 types of men you’ll meet before your thirties:

1. The one you thank for breaking your heart

Nobody likes picking up the pieces after a relationship comes to an end. It can be disappointing and a devastating reminder of what could have been. But the one thing I can say about the pain of heartbreak is that it teaches us valuable life lessons that nothing else ever will. For starters, it teaches us that we can’t always get our hearts desire and that situations are not conducive to what we want. It shows us that emotions are fickle and how we can’t really rely on them to make decisions. Lastly, it teaches us the brutal truth about life: it goes on. No matter how heartbroken you are, people will continue on making their coffee every morning, the bus schedules will continue to run as normal and your neighbours Golden Retriever will continue to howl in the middle of the night – harsh, but true.

the world doesn;tstop

2. The one who changes you

And I’m not talking about the reason behind a drastic hair change here, I’m talking about the one who gives you a whole new perspective on life, love and relationships.  Whether it was from a good experience you had with him or a bad one, he is part of the reason you look at things differently. After a romantic relationship, some people change for the better, while others change for the worse. Hopefully, in your case (and mine), we will always grow and change for the better.

3. The one you’ll look back and laugh at

Remember that one guy you pictured your life with? The one you believed would be the father of your kids until things fell apart. Then, you thought you’d never get over him. Well where is he now? I bet you wouldn’t recognise him in a lineup! There’s always one guy you just can’t think about without having a little chuckle with the girls. They’re usually the ones you envisioned your life with and spent weeks eating cookie dough to get over. Thankfully, we are well past that stage and know that pain is only temporary. What you cry about today you may laugh about in a few years from now!

thank god

4. The one you couldn’t seem to get rid of

This guy claims to be head over heels for you. He tells you that there is no other woman out there quite like you and that all he wants is a chance to prove to you that blah blah blah blah blah…. I’m sure you’ve heard it all before! No matter how many times you tell him that it’s never going to happen, he just persists and persists. These kinda guys are probably good for your ego at the start. But after the ego feed, reality kicks in. They just become an annoyance because they just can’t seem to get the hint.

5. The one you’ll always remember

And then there’s him. The one who holds a special place in your heart. No matter how much you care about him, deep down you know that he isn’t the right person for you. He is the one who makes you feel enlightened about love. Even though it didn’t work out, he makes you want to love again. After him, all you’ll want  is  a meaningful relationship and something long-lasting and worthwhile. He’s the one that will always have a piece of your heart, he’s the one you’ll always remember.

everyone has a robin

Hope you enjoyed my ‘big comeback’ and if you’re new to my blog, be sure to have a read of my previous dating articles!

Also, don’t forget to vote for 8 types of men you should avoid dating in the Best Blog Post category and 7 reasons your diet isn’t working in the best Health & Wellbeing category! Thank you all in advance! :)

Click here for vote for Best Blog Post: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/P6PP695

Click here to vote for Best Health & Wellbeing: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/PPBJNMZ

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Posted on April 12, 2015

10 signs you’ve been friend zoned

men/ relationships

AND THEN I SAID

You may associate the word ‘friend zone’ with men who get repeatedly rejected by women who are out of their league. Or more precisely, that poor fella who wants more than a platonic relationship with his bestie but because she’s never given him the green light, he keeps his mouth shut – sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

While the friend zone is most commonly a place where men are left to rot in, there are also times when women find themselves in that same dreaded situation – that’s right, women get friend zoned too!

Luckily for me, I have yet to experience it myself (never say never). But sadly, I have witnessed one or two gals being friend zoned and are somehow blind to it.

funny memes

If you keep using his ‘shyness’ as an excuse for not making a move on you, then maybe it’s time to re-evaluate the situation. Here are 10 telltale signs that you’re in the friend zone.

1. When he asks you to chill, you actually chill

You watch a film from start to finish, you’re under the same blanket but never cuddle, he burps in your face and isn’t shy about it – you get the picture. If you never miss a single scene when watching a film together, then that is undeniable proof that you’re in the friend zone – sorry to break it to you.

2. He calls you bro

You could wear all the dresses in the world if you wanted to, but once he calls you ‘bro’ (and feels comfortable about it too) you are deep in the friend zone and you won’t be swimming in the shallow end anytime soon!  He clearly sees you as one of his male friends – nothing more, nothing less.

3. He tells you about the women he pulls 

Every time he shacks up with someone new, you’re one of the first people to hear about it. He has no problem telling you about his hot dates, problematic relationships or steamy one night stands. In his mind, you are there to listen.

4. He tells you that any man would be lucky to have you 

this could be us friend zone

5. He introduces you to people as his sister

When you meet his new friends, he often throws in the word ‘sister’ as a little reminder of where you two stand – not purposely, of course. He just loves you SO much, you’re like a sister to him. It has gotten so bad that you’re even starting to wonder whether or not people actually know you by name.

6. He doesn’t notice when you’re dressed to the nines

When he first saw you in a bikini he didn’t bat an eye lid and when you’re all dolled up for your night out, he doesn’t even flinch. At this stage, you feel you could walk by him half naked and he wouldn’t even notice! Friend zone level? deep!

7. He continually tells you to get with one of his boys

He keeps telling you what a cute couple you and John would make. Meanwhile, you are thinking about what a cute couple you and him would make.

THIS COULD BE US

8. He never ever flirts

If he flirts with every woman that walks into the room except you, then that my dear is what you call the extreme level of friend zone. Can you even remember the last time he paid you a compliment? I thought as much.

9. He pats you on the head

When you see him interacting with other girls, you see him poking them, tickling them and having a laugh. Not to mention, they always get a kiss on the cheek before they part ways. Other women get a kiss on the cheek, but you get a pat on the head – friend zone at its finest.

10. He often makes you his sidekick

If you can’t remember the last time his wingman was actually a MAN, then most likely you are in the friend zone for the long run. You might as well get yourself new runners, some baggy pants and get used to him calling you ‘dude.’ If that doesn’t suit, then remove yourself from the situation and go find yourself a new distraction. Oh yea, and chin up!

Until next time :)

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Posted on March 31, 2015

5 steps to moving on

men/ relationships

next chap

Breakups suck. They really do. And whether it’s the end of a romantic relationship or a platonic one, nobody enjoys getting rid of someone who played such a huge role in their life. That’s why it’s important to take necessary steps to ensure that you move on in the healthiest way possible.Yes, there will be some ice cream involved – there is always ice cream involved! So when I say healthiest, I’m talking about your mindset here. It’s about moving forward without bringing all that crazy with you.

These five steps should help you keep your sanity hat on – even if  you feel you have every reason in the world to take it off! #StayStrong

1. Closure, chats and all the rest

closure rachel

When a relationship ends, I do the usual: delete, block and suppress – it’s like it never happened! Then, I get on the “I hate men” bandwagon, until I get over it and find another idiot who makes me go through the whole thing again (no wonder I’m crazy). But overtime, I have come to learn that the ‘C’ word actually does help. That dreaded talk after a breakup might seem like an impossible task, but once you finally build up the courage to do it, you’ll find that it helps give a clearer idea of what went wrong in the relationship so that you can make any necessary changes and improvements for your next – we’re thinking positively here, people! As well as that, it gives you the opportunity to get everything off your chest. Whether it changes the situation or not is completely irrelevant. It’ll put your mind at ease knowing you said everything you wanted to say.

2. A night in with the girls – or two!

carrie crying

This is probably one of the most important steps to getting over a breakup – spending a night with the girls. Get some wine, chocolate, ice cream or whatever it is that you like to indulge in (the sweeter the better), and make a night of it. There’s no point in isolating yourself in your room or feeling sorry for yourself. Have a few drinks with the girls and just let it out, you’ll feel much better in morning  (take it from a girl who once brought over three bottles of wine and two tubs of icing to a friends), this is a foolproof plan, it absolutely works! And you know what they say about good friends, they multiply joys and divide sadness.

3. Retail therapy is a must

money happiness

You know that handbag you had your eye on a few weeks ago but were unsure about how to fit it into your budget? Now is the time to buy it! There’s nothing a bit of retail therapy can’t fix. Whether it’s a new bag, new shoes new makeup or all the above, just go out there and get yourself some retail therapy. And when you’re done, take a break and do it all over again! Your bank account can’t possibly be angry at you forever now, can it? ;)

4. Back to the drawing board

find yourself

When people are in a relationship they tend to do things together. A Friday evening catching up on your favourite TV series becomes a movie night with your significant other and a Sunday morning doing yoga becomes a walk in the park + 1. Your own habits and interests can sometimes become a lost memory after spending so much time with someone else. So when you become single again, it is important to go back to base. Think about the things you once enjoyed and start doing them again. Who knows, you might make some new discoveries in the process!

5. Find your zen

meditation

Now I’m not going to tell you to get out there, walk barefoot in the grass and start talking to the trees or anything like that (I haven’t quite reached that level yet). But, what I will say is this: dedicating 10 – 15  mins of your day to meditate and practice some breathing exercises really does help get through the day.  Practising calmness is essential for your physical health as well as mental health and there are plenty of YT videos related to meditation that can help you get started. You can choose to do it first thing in the morning or right before bedtime, the choice is yours. Start off with 8 minutes and then slowly build it up. Believe me it gets easier!

It would make sense for me to finish off by saying that it’ll get better in time, but I honestly can’t stand any of those quotes related to time. So what I will say is this:

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl. But whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”

– Martin Luther King Jr.

Hope you have a fab day! :)

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What not to do after a breakup

men/ relationships

the breakup film

After a breakup, you may feel a combination of many emotions: disappointment, heartbreak and sometimes even regret. The aftermath of a long or shortterm relationship is never pretty, and in cases where a few bottles of wine are involved, it can get a bit messy – I know this, all too well!

While blaring ‘I Will Survive’ in your room every morning and although making a cow out of yourself at a drunken karaoke session are both very much acceptable – in my books anyways, there are just some things that you should never ever doing after a bad breakup.

If the word pride means anything to you, then you will not and you must not do any of the following things:

Contact his family members

Just because his mother adored you, it doesn’t give you a reason to start ringing her and checking up to see how she is doing or asking her how things have been. You didn’t ring her when you thought she was going to be your mother in-law so why the sudden interest in ‘her’ life now? Cut the crap, we all who you’re really asking about!

Create a page for stalking

When your ex gets a friend request from someone who recently joined Facebook just days after the breakup, they might just get a bit suspicious. Let’s face it; most people have had their Facebook accounts longer than they can remember, so spare yourself the embarrassment of setting up a Facebook account for stalking purposes. Remember your pride!

one to adele

Listen to depressing music for too long

Yes, we all love Adele, and yes, we are all clearly aware of what listening to Ed Sheeran does. But whatever you do, don’t dwell on the pain for too long, otherwise you will just be stuck and unable to get out of that mind frame. They say crying is good for the soul, so do allow yourself to shed a few tears, but don’t let it drag on for longer than it should! #StayStrong

Go on a Facebook rant

I know we live in a digital age, and social media plays a big part in most of our lives. But can we just leave Facebook out of it? We are preserving our pride, taking the high road and all that jazz. Pick up kick boxing if you must, apparently it’s a good way to let off steam. Just don’t put your business out there for Facebook to see.

Carry yourself like a hobo

We all have a hoody reserved for those ‘I’ll never get over it,’ moments. It allows us to sulk and feel sorry for ourselves in the comfort of our own homes – or in the home of a good friend. But, you know what they say: looking good is feeling good. Putting on your heels and getting a bit dolled up makes all the difference in the world. Try it out, you might surprise yourself!

end of

Feed your emotions

After a breakup, men usually hit the gym and women usually turn to food for comfort. But while you’re eating away and getting bigger, he is lifting weights and getting fitter.  I’m not saying you should start bodybuilding or anything, but instead of feeding your emotions, take up a fun class like Steps or Zumba. Not only will it help your mental state, it will also help you physically!

Befriend his ex

Purposely befriending someone who used to go out with the person you once were –and probably still are – crazy about, is simply a recipe for disaster! Man bash all you like, but do to it with a trusted friend and not the psycho ex – unless of course, you want to graduate to that title? I didn’t think so.

Jump into bed with a stranger….. or a friend

You feel like crap, and a bit of male attention would be nice right about now. But whatever you do, do not, I repeat, do NOT jump into bed with a complete stranger – or any of your male friends for that matter. Kissing is fine. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of lip locking every now and again. So long as you don’t do it with a friend as you will only regret it (not that I know anything about doing things that you shouldn’t be with your friends…. but I’d imagine that’s how one would feel, right?)

The point is, there are just some things you shouldn’t do after a breakup, and these 8 are some of them! Hope you all have a fab day xxx

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      I’ve often been told that I’m a hopeless romantic. Although I don’t think I’m one, I do have a fair idea of why someone might call me that. For starters, I am a bit of dreamer: whether it’s to do with my career or my relationships, my mind often wanders to places where most…
Posted on February 8, 2015

8 types of men you should avoid dating

men/ relationships

big and carrie

I can’t sit here and say that every single one of my exes were idiots, because that would be a lie. But there were certainly one or two – okay maybe three – four max, that I would gladly give that title to.

If all the years that I’ve spent being in either a serious relationship or in a confused situationship, has taught me anything, it is this: there are just some guys you need to steer clear of.

These are the type of men who add absolutely no value to your life – dead weights, is what I call them.  All they do is waste your time, energy and emotions – and there’s nothing worse than wasted emotions, right?

So if you want to avoid listening to ‘I Can’t Make You Love Me,’ while scoffing down the unwanted chocolate you found at the back of your press from last Christmas, then here are some of the men you should stay away from:

it's not you it's me

The eager beaver

He puts pressure on you to meet your parents, he drops random hints about moving in together and you are still unsure about whether or not you had much of an input on having sex with him for the first time – oh it’s all coming back now, isn’t it? The eager beaver doesn’t really care who he is with, as long as he has SOMEONE. He is just in a rush to settle down and find a woman to take care of him – and then he’ll probably have someone else on the side.  Spare yourself the heartache and move on.

The unreliable one

He always says he’s going to take you out, you always hear him talking about how he’d like to spend a weekend away with you. But these things never actually happen, do they? If his actions aren’t matching his words now, don’t expect things to be any different a few months down the line. He’s good at talking the talk, but he ain’t very good at walking the walk. The unreliable one needs to be reminded of where the front door is.

unreliable men

The one who can’t keep his pants up

We all love sex. There’s no arguing that. But if he wants to get dirty between the sheets at every second of the day, then how can you ever trust him to be loyal when you’re not around? Or God forbid, you have an injury and are unable to perform as you normally would? Exactly. Three or four times a day? Absolutely fine. But wanting it all day every day is never a good sign, and it may also call for some professional help.

The one foot in and one foot out kinda guy

He uses his past as an excuse to not fully commit to you. Yet, judging by his track record, his previous relationship don’t seem any different to the night time visit arrangement you have with him now. He is just trying to have his cake and eat it too and is using ‘heartbreak’ as a way to avoid having a real relationship with you. This kind of guy needs to take both of his feet and keep them out. #ByeFelicia

The one who always seems to be short on cash

If it’s not ‘I forgot my wallet at home,’ it’s ‘there has been a delay with my payment.’ Either way, you are starting to wonder whether he even owns a bank account or not. The one who always seems to be short on cash is a pro when it comes to excuses and me thinks him and Mr. Unreliable up there should get together some time.

i'll hold you down

The one with zero ambition

He barely made it through school, and he now spends his days sitting in front of the telly watching sports. He has no idea where his life is going – not that he even cares – and he doesn’t seem to be having any positive influence on your life. As the saying goes ‘a man who can’t commit to himself, can not commit to anyone else,’ I’m pretty sure that says it all.

The one you can’t seem to read

He sends you ambiguous messages and says things that you never fully comprehend. You think he is interested in you, but you still have your doubts. Chances are, the guy is just stringing you along for his own amusement. If he really wanted to have some sort of relationship with you then he would make an effort and you wouldn’t be trying to decipher his messages at 2 o’clock in the morning!

The hot and cold kinda guy

Today you have his undivided attention, and tomorrow you’re wondering why you haven’t heard from him all day. If you’re wondering why you’ve suddenly stopped hearing from him, then that is probably because somebody else has his attention. I don’t know about you, but I’m not very good with sharing my men.

If you have one of these men in your life, then you already know what to do…… hope you all have a good evening :)

 

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Posted on November 17, 2014

10 signs you’re a hopeless romantic

men/ relationships

 audrey

I’ve often been told that I’m a hopeless romantic. Although I don’t think I’m one, I do have a fair idea of why someone might call me that. For starters, I am a bit of dreamer: whether it’s to do with my career or my relationships, my mind often wanders to places where most people’s minds don’t.

Secondly, I find it hard to let go. Now, I don’t mean that in the psycho ex kind of way. What I mean by that is I am someone who is very keen (to put it nicely) on getting to the bottom of things and I usually don’t rest until I do.

Lastly, I expect people to go out of their way for me – I know, this is starting to sound bad. But hear me out before you judge: the only reason I would expect that from anyone is because I’d be willing to do the same for them – see, I’m not that crazy after all! :)

So in a way, I understand why someone would translate those things into me being a hopeless romantic – even though I disagree – there could be some truth in it. I guess it all comes down to what you actually define as a ‘hopeless romantic.’

tit1

Is it someone who is simply in love with the idea of being in love? (definitely not me) or someone who’s always open-minded about the next relationship even though the previous one went disastrously? (again, not me!)

I think it goes a lot deeper than that.  For me, it is a combination of different attitudes and  behaviours  that make someone a hopeless romantic, not just one or two things.

And if you tick more than just a few of these boxes, then you’re probably not far off from being one yourself:

1. You expect grand gestures: After a fight, you expect to see the words ‘I’m sorry’ written in the sky (but a bouquet of flowers followed by a beautifully wrapped gift as an apology is a close second).

2. You compare your relationship to Allie and Noah: For some reason, you think your love life is comparable to the bickering love birds in The Notebook.

noah

3. You’re in love with the idea of being in love: You admire teens who think they’re in love, you reminisce on the days when YOU were in love and you just adore couples who have been together for years.

4. You strongly believe that PDA: In your eyes, it isn’t official until you’ve practiced PDA regularly.

5. There isn’t a single romcom you haven’t watched: Your capacity for watching romantic comedies is beyond human, can you even think of a romcom you haven’t seen?

6. You think the Eiffel tower and Big Ben make a perfect couple: The more you think of it, the more it makes sense – right?

paris

7. You fantasise about being in a long term relationship with your crush: Sometimes you get more joy in daydreaming about being with your crush than actually spending time in your waking life – sad, but true.

8. You know every single word to ‘I will always love you’ – backwards: This is pretty much says it all.

9. You believe in ‘The One’: Although there is no evidence of it in the present, you feel strangely positive about you and your friends ending up with that perfect somebody.

10. More thought has gone into your wedding day than your career: At this stage, you probably won’t even need a wedding planner for your big day. You’ve been dreaming about being a blushing bride since the day you could pick out your favourite dress.

Have you ever been called a hopeless romantic? If so, I’d love to hear why! :)

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Posted on November 6, 2014

10 things to know before going on a Tinder date

men/ relationships

tinder

In today’s world, waking up to Facebook like it’s a daily newspaper has become the norm. With trendy apps such as Instagram and Snapchat, engaging in social media has becoming increasingly popular and people are using dating sites a lot more now than ever before. So when the mating app Tinder first came out, I wasn’t surprised by how many of my friends were using it.

I’m not going to lie, I did download it myself – but that was only because I was curious to see what all the hype was about (not to mention, I was also in London at the time). I got bored of it fairly quickly and no offense to anyone, but when I got back to Ireland, there was a lot of swiping left - not a lot of talent going on here.

Anyways, anyone who knows me knows I can be pretty paranoid about things like this (and everything else), but do I know a few girls who have happily gone on dates with guys they’ve met on Tinder and while I make no judgment on their decisions, I do feel that there are a few things that need to be considered before agreeing to go on what is widely known as ‘a Tinder date.’

  1. If you don’t know what he actually does with himself, then you might want to wait a while before agreeing to meet up.
  2. Surprises are good, but not in situations like this. Make sure you send a screenshot to a trusted friend, so that they’ll know what he looks like – ‘Girl Goes Missing After Tinder Date With Stranger’ is never a nice headline to see.
  3. Some people go through lengths to set up fake profiles, so it could be anyone behind the screen. It won’t hurt  to let someone know where you’re going – better safe than sorry, right?
  4. You could be talking to the same person as your friend – always a good idea to check in with the girls, you don’t want to end up “falling” for the same guy now, do you?
  5. He could – or should I say – he probably  just wants you for the one night. So make sure you’re both on the same page.
  6. It’s quite likely he isn’t looking for something too serious (otherwise, he wouldn’t be on Tinder).Again, know what you’re getting yourself into.
  7. There’s a 99.9% chance that you aren’t the only person he is talking to or planning to take on a date.
  8. He might not show up at all  – yes, this does happen.
  9. You may attract a stalker (I use the world ‘stalker,’ very loosely here).
  10. Once you delete him from your chat, he’s gone on TINDER forever but it doesn’t stop him from finding you on other social media sites.

Have you ever been on a Tinder date? If so, feel free to share your story below! :)

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Posted on October 28, 2014

Do you like him or are you just obsessed with him?

men/ relationships

obsession

I found out I don’t like him. I was just obsessed with the idea of him, even though I still want him.

- Anonymous

A normal person would look at those words and question the mental health of the speaker. But when those words were spoken to me, I had an ‘a ha’ moment.

It made me realise that a lot of the time, women are simply obsessed with the idea they have of someone. Sometimes, we become so hooked on the image we’ve created of our crush that it starts to look a tad bit like an obsession.

So this leaves me with a very legitimate question: do you really like him or are you just obsessed with him?

Here are some telltale signs you may be on the road to the land of obsession:

1. You can’t go a day without checking his Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn (which you purposely set to anonymous) and all the other social media sites you’ve joined to facilitate your stalking.

2. Everything you think you know about him you’ve heard through a third party (in most cases, Facebook). 

3. Your social media spying has become a call for concern among your group of friends.

olivia boss chick

4. Can you even remember the last time you’ve spent time with your friends? Exactly.

5. His name comes up in every conversation (it’s still a mystery how a conversation about milk ends up being a conversation about him).

6. He is your first thing you think of in the mornings and the last thing on your mind before bed. He is basically wrapped up in every single one of your thoughts – and not in a romantic way either!

7. You’ve lost track of the normal things in life like taking a shower (I joke), but you do feel like you’re slacking behind in college/work.

8. You know his group of friends just a little too well (Remember: you were never introduced to them). 

9. The words  ‘If only he knew how perfect I am for him’ have become something you use on a daily basis.

10. You have continuous thoughts of marriage and what your kids would look like.

11. You seem to be the only person who can see things working between you and him.

12. Your friends tell you you’re obsessed – now if that doesn’t raise the alarm, then I don’t know what else will!

Hope you enjoyed this post! If so, be sure to check out 12 mistakes women make with men and 8 signs it’s all in your head. I also have another giveaway coming soon so keep an eye on the blog :)

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Posted on October 4, 2014

8 signs it’s all in your head

men/ relationships/ women

signs it is all in your head

I recently spoke to a good friend of mine who was telling me how devastated he was about something that happened between him and his love interest.

While it was quite saddening to listen to, I also thought it was a bit of a relief – let’s face it, men aren’t exactly the best advocates for showing their emotions, so I found it quite comforting to see this happen for a change  (especially for him).

So what went wrong?

In my opinion, he made the classical mistake some women make when they are overwhelmed by the emotions they feel for someone – create something that isn’t really there. That’s right, he was in a dream-lationship (I totally just made that word up!), nonetheless, that’s exactly what was happening.

signs it is all in your head 2

So what are the signs that it’s all in your head? What are the signs that indicate you’ve been creating a relationship that doesn’t really exist and is simply a figure of your imagination?

Since being young and naive subjected me to go through exactly this (I like to think I’ve grown), I don’t find it too hard to pinpoint some of the behaviours and actions of someone who is clearly delusional about what is happening between them and their love interest.

Here are the signs that you need a reality check:

1. He never pops the question
He never mentions anything about going on a date with you, meeting up or simply spending time together. If he wanted to take you out, then you would have known at this stage.

2. You’re the only one starting sentences with ‘I feel’
You have no idea how he ‘feels’ and yet you are under the impression that you’re drawn to one another. You can’t unilaterally decide how he feels without him giving you a speck of a hint! It just doesn’t work like that.

3. You constantly imagine going on dates with him but you never actually GO on them
You see where I’m going with this one?

4. He never really rings you….or texts you…. or contacts you
Basically, he doesn’t show any initiative. You text him first, you Viber him during his lunch break: you are always making the first move – kinda self explanatory don’t you think?

if he wants you

5. You wonder whether or not you’re going to hear from him
If you’re concerned about the next time you’ll be hearing from him then clearly you haven’t established any sort of relationship with him.

6. You’ve never even kissed or been in a situation where it is likely to happen
Does the word friend-zone sound familiar at all?

7. You’re doing all the talking
It always seems like getting words out of him is almost like drawing blood from a stone. Yes, there are shy guys and then there are guys who are just disinterested.

8. You don’t know much about him                  
Again, you shouldn’t have to drag anything out of him. If the feelings were mutual then he would more than likely be talking to you about his interests.

If any of these are just too close to home, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate the situation! Lord knows I had to…..

Feel free to share your thoughts on this, if any and hope you have a great weekend! :)

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Posted on September 2, 2014

12 mistakes women make with men

men/ relationships/ women

mistakes women make with men

After giving it plenty of time and consideration, I’ve decided to finally unleash my inner Carrie Bradshaw. She wasn’t exactly an expert when it came to men and frankly, neither am I.

However, I do have some very interesting stories that pretty much go from one extreme to another  – that’s putting it lightly.

Also, after hearing stories from female friends as well as other women, I think it’s fair to say we’ve all made one or two of these mistakes at least once in our lives of being ‘young and naive.’

1. Confusing sex with love
Most of the time, sex is sex – nothing more, nothing less.

2. Getting too attached
Being invited over should never EVER translate to leaving your toothbrush at his – even if you did stay the night.

3. Overanalysing
The thinking: the constant and endless thinking that’s enough to put us in a straight jacket. Maybe, just maybe, the words ‘okay then,’ really just mean ‘okay then’.

12 mistakes women make with men 3

Photo Credit

4. Not making them work for it
Don’t just give it to any Tom, Dick or Harry who comes along, make them work for it – make them earn what they want.

5. Making them work too hard
The opposite applies too. Push them too far off the edge and they just might stay there! I guess the key here is just to find the right balance (let me know when you’ve found it!)

6. Opening up too soon
This pretty much sends them running to the hills. No poems, no love letters, no confessions – just don’t do it.

7. Putting them up on a pedestal
No good can ever come of putting your man, lover or crush up on a pedestal.

8. Emasculating them
I’m all for girl power and the whole women rule the world jazz, but let’s be honest; men like to set the pace. Sometimes, leaving the ball in their court will show you whether or not he’s really interested.

12 mistakes women make with men 2

Photo Credit

9. Expecting them to change
Change comes from within so don’t hold your breath if you think he’s going to give up one of his ‘bad habits’ before he’s ready. We think they’re going to change and they think we won’t – what a beautiful world we live in!

10. Becoming someone else
Women who change themselves for men are only setting themselves out for disappointment. Especially since the truth always comes out in the end.

11. Being too available
Nobody wants an eager beaver; it’s never a good look either on a woman or a man for that matter.

12. Expecting too much
At this stage, I’ve realised that sometimes it’s better to just count the blessings that are already there than to complain about the things that aren’t!

So there you have it, 12 mistakes women make with men straight from the horses mouth ( I kid!) but I can’t say I’m not guilty here! Feel free to share any thoughts you might have down below :)

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