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Posted on September 5, 2016

10 things nobody tells you about online dating

men/ Uncovered

dating first date

Dating. I’ve never really been a fan of the term. Not only do I think it’s very American, but the word itself makes me incredibly awkward. Whenever I hear the word date, I automatically picture two strangers sitting in close proximity to one another in an often controlled environment: uncomfortable body language, pecking at food instead of wolfing it down, planned topics of conversation to fill the silence…. nobody is ever truly themselves, and to be quite frank, I wouldn’t expect it to be any different either.

After all, when you’re meeting someone for the first time, especially after a few weeks of texting (and possible virtual stalking), it’s only natural to have certain expectations of them – as they’d likely have for you. So making a good first impression is an unsurprising goal for most. Everyone is simply trying to be the best version of themselves – which in retrospect, isn’t exactly something to fault them for.

As a recent blog post would suggest, I jumped onto the online dating game rather late. The now deleted dating app, Plenty of Fish, gave me a countless amount of giggles. While it was fun for the most part, it did teach me things that I would never have known had I decided against exploring this contemporary dating wave . They are the raw truths about the dating world which most people would be inclined to leave out:

1. It’s bloody exhausting!

From praying you remember the details of your conversations to hoping you don’t confuse his occupation for someone else’s, dating really can be mentally draining. It’s one thing to be mentally exhausted from texting two or three POF lads at a time, but it’s a whole different level of exhaustion when you thought you had something special going with someone, only for things to fizzle out after a few weeks – then you have to start all over again.

DATING TIRED

2. You might gain a few

Nobody wants to be that annoying gym head who orders a caesar salad with no caesar dressing on a first date. So naturally, you’re going to bend your diet rules a little bit. Extra side dressing here, a creamy dessert there and before you know it, you’ve piled on a few around the waist – not a fun predicament!

3. It can be time consuming

Instead of spending your time productively and doing valuable things such as reading (a book, not a FB status), you may find yourself randomly scrolling through messages or swiping left and right during a commute. You may become so engulfed in the online dating world that waking up to Facebook newsfeed becomes a thing of the past because the thought of waking up to Tinder sounds more appealing.

4. The ‘spark’ tends to fizzle out

You see someone you like. You match with them. You talk for a bit. Meet up. Continue talking, but a lot less this time. You forget about each other. You see someone else you like. You match with them. Talk for a bit. Meet up once. Continue talking, but a lot less this time…. see where I’m going with this? It is frightening how typical it is for things to fizzle out. Nobody ends it, nobody’s feelings get hurt. It just dies. Evaporates. Into thin air.

dating disposable

5. You’re not the only one who has his attention

This may sound like a no brainer to some, but if you get easily attached to someone you like then a reminder is needed. It’s quite likely that you’re not the only one talking to this person. Try not to put all your eggs into one basket, you’ll only find yourself disappointed.

6. There are a lot of broken hearts out there

You don’t realise how much baggage others carry until you actually talk to them. You’d be surprised by how many people have gone through similar experiences as you (if not worse). It might make them a bit more guarded and more closed so I guess you have to be patient.

7. It can promote the idea that people are disposable

 This whole swiping business on Tinder can instill the mindset that people are disposable. Considering how easy it is to organise a ‘date’ with someone, you might find that some people put very little effort into it because they know they can always find someone else just around the corner.

dating swiping on Tinder

8. You don’t know anyone’s true intentions

He can say he wants to date you, he might even wine and dine you for a while. But how can you be sure that you won’t get kicked to the kerb after he gets what he wants? You don’t. Unless you have some sort of superpowers, you won’t always know. You’re taking a leap of faith with the whole thing. The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

9. You can build friendships from it

Sometimes a romantic relationship isn’t the only thing to flourish from a Tinder or POF date. You might meet someone amazing and after a while, realise they would make a better friend than a partner. Everlasting friendships may come from ‘dating’ apps as well, and that can be a good thing.

10. You get to know what you want

Putting yourself out there to meet new people and going on random dates does have its perks (and I’m not talking about the free meals here) an even bigger benefit has to do with self growth: you get to know what you want. Be it romantically or platonically, it helps you discover what you like and what you don’t like. Sometimes, you might even surprise yourself to find that what you thought you always wanted isn’t what you need.

WHAT YOU THINK YOU WANT ISN’T ALWAYS WHAT YOU THINK IT IS

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Posted on March 31, 2015

5 steps to moving on

Dating/ men

next chap

Breakups suck. They really do. And whether it’s the end of a romantic relationship or a platonic one, nobody enjoys getting rid of someone who played such a huge role in their life. That’s why it’s important to take necessary steps to ensure that you move on in the healthiest way possible.Yes, there will be some ice cream involved – there is always ice cream involved! So when I say healthiest, I’m talking about your mindset here. It’s about moving forward without bringing all that crazy with you.

These five steps should help you keep your sanity hat on – even if  you feel you have every reason in the world to take it off! #StayStrong

1. Closure, chats and all the rest

closure rachel

When a relationship ends, I do the usual: delete, block and suppress – it’s like it never happened! Then, I get on the “I hate men” bandwagon, until I get over it and find another idiot who makes me go through the whole thing again (no wonder I’m crazy). But overtime, I have come to learn that the ‘C’ word actually does help. That dreaded talk after a breakup might seem like an impossible task, but once you finally build up the courage to do it, you’ll find that it helps give a clearer idea of what went wrong in the relationship so that you can make any necessary changes and improvements for your next – we’re thinking positively here, people! As well as that, it gives you the opportunity to get everything off your chest. Whether it changes the situation or not is completely irrelevant. It’ll put your mind at ease knowing you said everything you wanted to say.

2. A night in with the girls – or two!

carrie crying

This is probably one of the most important steps to getting over a breakup – spending a night with the girls. Get some wine, chocolate, ice cream or whatever it is that you like to indulge in (the sweeter the better), and make a night of it. There’s no point in isolating yourself in your room or feeling sorry for yourself. Have a few drinks with the girls and just let it out, you’ll feel much better in morning  (take it from a girl who once brought over three bottles of wine and two tubs of icing to a friends), this is a foolproof plan, it absolutely works! And you know what they say about good friends, they multiply joys and divide sadness.

3. Retail therapy is a must

money happiness

You know that handbag you had your eye on a few weeks ago but were unsure about how to fit it into your budget? Now is the time to buy it! There’s nothing a bit of retail therapy can’t fix. Whether it’s a new bag, new shoes new makeup or all the above, just go out there and get yourself some retail therapy. And when you’re done, take a break and do it all over again! Your bank account can’t possibly be angry at you forever now, can it? 😉

4. Back to the drawing board

find yourself

When people are in a relationship they tend to do things together. A Friday evening catching up on your favourite TV series becomes a movie night with your significant other and a Sunday morning doing yoga becomes a walk in the park + 1. Your own habits and interests can sometimes become a lost memory after spending so much time with someone else. So when you become single again, it is important to go back to base. Think about the things you once enjoyed and start doing them again. Who knows, you might make some new discoveries in the process!

5. Find your zen

meditation

Now I’m not going to tell you to get out there, walk barefoot in the grass and start talking to the trees or anything like that (I haven’t quite reached that level yet). But, what I will say is this: dedicating 10 – 15  mins of your day to meditate and practice some breathing exercises really does help get through the day.  Practising calmness is essential for your physical health as well as mental health and there are plenty of YT videos related to meditation that can help you get started. You can choose to do it first thing in the morning or right before bedtime, the choice is yours. Start off with 8 minutes and then slowly build it up. Believe me it gets easier!

It would make sense for me to finish off by saying that it’ll get better in time, but I honestly can’t stand any of those quotes related to time. So what I will say is this:

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl. But whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”

– Martin Luther King Jr.

Hope you have a fab day! 🙂

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Posted on November 29, 2014

Christmas gifts for him

men/ Tips/ Top products

CHRISTMAS GIFTS FOR HIM

If you still haven’t decided on what to get the men in your life for Christmas then worry not, because I’m here to help! From your forgetful father to your football loving boyfriend, Enhance What’s Yours has pretty much got you covered for this – well, sort of…..

Here are some of my lovely gift suggestions for him:

FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND

When it comes to men, you can never go wrong with boxers or aftershave, and since it’s Black Friday Weekend, searching through high end brands to find them doesn’t sound like much of a bad idea. Here are some ideal gifts for that special someone in your life – aren’t the pillows just the cutest thing ever?

ted bakermale boxers

Ted Baker 3 Pack Luton Boxers, PRICE: €45.00, Arnotts

my side your side

My Side Your Side Pillowcase, PRICE: €39.17, Not On The Highstreet

ARMANI DIAMOND ROCKS

Armani Diamond Rocks Christmas Gift Set, PRICE: €50.00, Arnotts 


FOR YOUR FATHER

As much as we’d love to give our fathers the world, it isn’t very realistic! Here are some gifts that will surely put a smile on daddy’s face – or in this case, his feet!

mel and co

Mel & Co. Bonded  Leather  10 Watch Storage Box, PRICE: €78.98, Not On The HighStreet

guinness world record

Guinness World Records 2015, PRICE: €19.99, Eason

 slippers

RJR. John Rocha – Designer Tan Suede Slippers, PRICE: €52.50, Debenhams


FOR YOUR BROTHER/FRIEND

You can complain about your siblings all you like, but we all know that deep down it’s all just love! These suggestions will keep your brother(s) warm and giggling throughout the Christmas period – he probably wouldn’t want it any other way!

the big bang theory

The Big Bang Theory, Season 1 -7 (DVD), PRICE: €49.99, HMV

hugo boss gift set

Hugo Boss, 3 Pack Socks Gift set Multicolour, PRICE: €32.00, Arnotts

jack aND JONES JUMPER

Jack & Jones, Mens PRM Cardigan, PRICE: £34.99, Mandmdirect.com

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