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Posted on February 27, 2018

Do men age better than women?

Dating

TimeHop: A nifty Facebook feature designed to depress individuals who have surpassed the prime of their beauty (for those of you wondering).

In my early twenties (when I still had my looks going for me), I used to take pride in the fact that I was never enticed by the idea of plastic surgery. Now some of you may not be surprised by the concept of a young twenty something year old – with not a wrinkle in sight – not finding cosmetic surgery attractive. But believe it or not, I would have known plenty of ladies who spoke quite enthusiastically about surgery from a very young age.

Whether I had a big booty or not (I didn’t), any insecurity I had growing up was always something I was willing to suffer through with. I wanted to age naturally and with grace, even if I was a skinny black girl with a ‘pancake’ bum. All the Kylie Jenners in the world would not have made me change my mind about plastic surgery – again, I was in my early twenties so I still had my looks going for me, the importance of this cannot be overstated.

Fast forward a few years (I won’t say how many) but fast forward to a point in my life where I now understand why some women would opt for elective procedures that are said to prevent the much-dreaded “mature” look. There is nothing scarier than looking at an old photograph of yourself at the age of what you regard as the prime of your beauty only to stare back at your own reflection and see that.

Note: If you try this at home, you’re at your own risk.

A lot can change in a short space of time, and these changes can happen fast. So much like any millennial experiencing early signs of aging, I turned to my much-trusted support system: Instagram, every girl’s most trustworthy and reliable friend (that was sarcasm).

Using an Instagram poll, I asked them to vote on something I have believed for a very long time to be true: do men age better than women?

Since this is something I have always believed, I was in complete shock by how divided the answers were. Some respondants thought the answer was obvious and shared similar views to me, while others believed the debate should be around the stigmas attached to female aging. While it isn’t difficult to reason with both of these views, make of what you will on the other more questionable comments people had on the matter.

I did an even split for male and female respondents so that I don’t appear to be propagating my own aging agenda 🙂

  • Question: Do men age better than women?
  • Final result: 58% Yes | 42% No

Male responses

It’s acceptable for a man to grow into a silver fox but women are pressured into looking younger and to not show signs of aging.

Most women are entirely reliant on their looks, they are not subject to the same criteria as men and yet they want all the sh!t men have worked for.

People like the idea of a modern world where we can say women age just as well as men because that’s a nice warm thing for everybody to believe in but that’s just not true. Women have the power from 18 to 30 and then from that point it starts dipping. Men have no power whatsoever till we’re about 28, a woman won’t even look at you until then.

It’s societal expectations. Some men hit their mid to late 20s and look the same into their late 30s/40. I think a part of that is also that we don’t stop growing physically until we hit 25 (I think). I do often wonder though if make up has long term negative effects on someone’s skin from wearing it so often?

Women are better looking for longer, men only get to look good when they’re silver foxes, can’t we have that at least😅

Female responses

In my opinion they don’t age well. I am looking at the all round picture as looks can be deceiving. Men toil alot in their life time, their bodies endure so much that women are the only ones who out live them regardless lol I know this may sound offensive and traditional but it’s true.

Noooooo they don’t! I’m 11months older than my husband and everyone thinks I’m younger than him. Last year a woman thought I was his daughter. She was drunk…but yano It still counts 😂😂

Society is obsessed with women’s beauty being linked to youthfulness. Even in how they pay compliments, a man looking younger than his age is nearly negative and for women a great thing. We say things like “Oh 40 is the new 20”.

Yes they do, it’s so depressing 😭

Women know that after a certain age everything starts to go south in the looks department, that’s why they feel the need to “trap” men.

Regardless of the ratio of yes to no, there is no denying that we still have a lot of mixed responses here. Thanks to my *early aging signs that we shall not yet speak of* I will continue to think that among many other things, us women do not have it easy in the aging department.

So to the person who first coined the phrase ‘black don’t crack,’ I’d like a refund.

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Posted on February 14, 2018

That sugar baby life: dreamy romance or glorified prostitution?

Dating

When I first heard about sugar relationships, I was rather naive about the whole concept. The notion that a wrinkled  wealthy man could financially support a young and attractive woman while asking for nothing but her presence in return was not something that set off any alarm bells.

I thought, why wouldn’t a financially stable man support a twenty something year old through college if he has the means to? If he can afford it and she can return the favour by giving him whatever is in the parameters of their sugar arrangement (her ‘presence’) then isn’t it a win for everyone!? How very naive of me indeed….

Thanks to my newly found wisdom of sugar dating and all other relationships that exist in the realm of the sugar world, I am now inclined to think otherwise.

My growing obsession with the dynamics of such a relationship led me to jump into the sugar bowl to dig up on the matter. After having joined SeekingArrangement, an online dating site that aims to link up older and financially stable individuals (usually men that go by the term sugar daddy/SD) with their commonly young and impressionable female counterparts (sugar baby/SB), I can now say that my views regarding sugar daddy and sugar baby relationships have shifted drastically.

It is safe to say that the ‘on your terms’ relationships that a lot of sugar dating websites try to sell are not to be taken at face value – at least not if you’re the SB anyways! Many men who use sugar dating sites are not far off from searching for escort. They use the guise of a ‘structured’ relationship to have young SBs bend to their will. But before we touch on whether or not being a sugar baby is akin to being a sex worker, I think it is important to outline the different types of sugar daddies that exist on these dating sites…..

Here are 10 types of sugar daddies that are likely to be found online 🙂

1. Fake Daddy

Allow me to start with the most obvious of types: fake daddies. These are men (or women) that set up online profiles pretending to have a bank account in the Cayman Island and a yacht somewhere in the south of France. They are the ones who take advantage of the fact that almost anyone can mask as anything once there is a screen in front of them.

2. Wannabe Daddy

This is the type of  SD that warrants a bit of sympathy. In the perfect world, he would have the attention of a hot blonde that is half his age to shower with gifts and treat like royalty. He would give her everything and anything she could ever ask for. The problem is, he can’t afford the lifestyle he wants to have with a SB and the life that he so desperately craves is therefore one that has to be left to his imagination (ergo the sympathy).

3. Salt Daddy

This type of SD is similar to the wannabe daddy in the sense that he can’t afford to be a ‘real’ sugar daddy. What separates the salt daddy from the wannabe daddy however, is that he actively seeks naive women knowing well he has has nothing substantial to offer. He uses trickery and manipulation to get his way with sugar babies and when it’s time for this salt papi to holdup his end of the agreement, he is nowhere to be found!

4. The Married but Looking Daddy

The married but looking daddy is probably the most common type of SD that exists in the sugar world. Some require discretion and secrecy from their SB while others claim that their partner is aware of their wandering eye. Regardless of the situation, the thought of this type of SD wanting a sugar baby can be deeply disturbing when his sugar baby’s age matches that of his daughter.

5. Submissive Daddy 

This is the type of daddy who gets off on taking on a not-so-daddy role. Not only does he derive sexual pleasure from having dominant women abuse his wallet, but it is a prerequisite that she humiliates him in the process. He thrives off anything from getting his marching orders from a powerful woman after she’s drained him of all his cash at an ‘ATM meet,’ to fulfilling various embarrassing tasks that she demands of him afterwards.

6. Peter Pan Daddy

The Peter Pan daddy is one who simply  just enjoys the company of a young and attractive woman.Having younger company brings out a side of him that he refuses to let go of. If she happens to  need mentorship or a bit of financial support, he would give a helping hand. But only if he can.

7. Pimp Daddy 

On the flip side, we have the pimp daddy. This is the SD who treats sugar dating sites like it’s for finding escorts. He has a sense of entitlement and when he makes demands, he expects them to be met. The pimp daddy claims to be firmly against using professional escorts, yet he speaks to his sugar babies like they are ladies of the night.

8. Online Daddy

This type of daddy has no intention of pursing an arrangement outside the virtual world. He is the type of SD that either lives overseas or travels quite regularly. He can give a good talk about meeting up and discussing a mutually beneficial arrangement, but the reality of it is that he quite enjoys the online chats and texts.

9. The Mammy and Daddy, ‘Daddy’

Although not as common as some of the others, the mammy and daddy type of profiles seek a younger SB to help spruce things up in the bedroom. They may be swingers or they may simply be two people who feel that they’re about a decade deep into the relationship. This type of SD profile just wants to spice things up before kids are factored into their relationship.

10. Dream Daddy

This type of daddy has the means to provide financial, mental and emotional support to a potential sugar baby. Although he has a busy schedule, the dream daddy never fails to hold up his end of the arrangement when he has one. Since he  doesn’t ask for anything sexual in return for his generosity, one would question whether or not he has a functioning libido. Any SB who lands one of these has basically hit the jackpot!!

While it is clear from this list that there isn’t just one type of SD that exists, I do get the impression that the majority of sugar relationships run on secrecy, lies, sex and money. After weeks of interrogating active users of sugar dating sites and attempting to discover the motivations behind why people use them, I am starting to think that the standard SD/SB arrangement is adjacent to sex work (when there is intimacy involved, that is).

In a way, I also feel like the dynamics of the average sugar relationship brings women decades back to when they were forced to stay at home and depend on their partners for financial support. But above all else, this new discovery makes me wonder whether or not women inherently seek out men who can provide them with financial security.

The growing popularity of sugar arrangements and the use of sugar dating sites begs the question of whether or not men and women really are biologically hardwired to think and behave differently when it comes to matters of dating, whether it is part of a woman’s genetic makeup to look for security in a man and whether men are biologically geared towards mainly wanting………… do I really need to say it? 🙂

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Posted on August 24, 2017

5 reasons he might call you a psycho

Dating

Ladies, if you’ve ever been called a psycho by a man then I’m sure you’ll resonate with my latest YouTube video. I’ve explored some of the reasons why men call women psychos.

I hope you enjoy watching it as much as I enjoyed putting it together for you guys, would love to hear your feedback! 🙂

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Posted on August 16, 2017

How to stay single (satire)

Dating

This is probably going to be the shortest post I’ll ever write on this blog, the reason being that I originally intended for this to be a tweet. However, my inner satirist felt compelled to share it with a wider audience, so here are three simple steps for staying  happily single:

Step 1: Send the person you’re seeing a psycho “breakup” text when you’re menstruating

Step 2: Let the argument escalate to the point where you actually break up

Step 3: Convince yourself that it was never going to work anyways

For more sarcasm and satire, check out 12 things I learned from being on POF  🙂

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Posted on November 6, 2016

8 perks of being a single gal

Dating

single-perks-4

I was once told that I am a frilly pair of knickers away from being a Bridget Jones. Although I’ve never had much interest in the films and consequently know the absolute minimum when it comes to Bridget’s actual character, common knowledge would tell me that I wasn’t being complimented. But believe it or not, I wasn’t offended in the slightest.

The main reason being is that I am a firm believer that everything is temporary. Experience and life has taught me that nothing in this world lasts forever. So when it comes to love and relationships, I don’t think it should be a race of who makes it down the aisle first. I think it should be about enjoying the status that you have at present. And if that current status leads to spending every Friday night Netflixing and chilling with a meal deal for one – then so be it! So long as you make an attempt to sweat it all out the next day, you’ll get zero judgement from me!

I know my single girl problems post would have you think otherwise, but being single isn’t really all that bad! It comes with many little perks that often go unnoticed. Luckily for you, I am going to share a few tonight:

1. I’ve got hot garlic sauce in my bag

‘I’ll have that without garlic sauce’ is a popular phrase among couples on date night. Thankfully, being single means you don’t have to worry about trying to ward off garlic breathe for a goodnight smooch because it’s not like you’re going home to lock lips with anyone. Go ahead, order that extra garlic dip.

2. Granny pants galore

Sexy underwear doesn’t exist when you’re a singleton. High cut, elastic and loose? Now that I can relate to! Comfy granny pants become a reoccurring theme in your undie-robe when you’re single. Not only are they incredibly comfortable. But with a reliable pair of granny pants, you don’t ever have to worry about having a string of material squeezed in between your butt cheeks, Hallelujah!

single-perks-2

3. Shaving? Sorry, I only speak single

When you have nobody to make adult noises with, you can pretty much let your body hair grow to your heart’s (or legs) content. It also means that you will be saving yourself a few bob – no more painful wax treatments or spending money on shaving cream. This is the time to grow into (no pun intended) the Amazon lady that you were always destined to be!

4. Girls just wanna have fun

You can head out as often as you like, wherever you like and with whomever you like because you don’t have to answer to anyone at all! Be as selfish as you want with your time and you can even make last minute party plans without any interrogation – it’s like basically reliving college campus years all over again!

single-perks

5. Random date nights

As a single gal, you get to experience the honey moon phase every single time you have a new date! The texting, the butterflies, the anticipation… meeting new people can be very fun! Not all first dates turn out to be disastrous, some can actually be quite enjoyable.

6. Me, myself and I time

When you’re not tied down to someone, you’re not limited in what you can do as far as career and other big life decisions go. Being single means you get to focus on your life and your goals without having to weigh the impact of every single choice that you make on a relationship.

single-perks-3

7. Red lipstick on fleek

No lip locking means a lot of red lipstick. You can wear that red lip day in day out without worrying about it being ruined!

8. And for my sisters out there……LACE WIGS!!!

I cannot stress this enough! Take advantage of the sex drought that can come with single life by making the most out of your lace wigs. Because once your’e back to hair pulling sex, you’ll have to say your farewells to that new hair #JustSayin

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